OneLessLonely

Hi all, I often stick to my class of May thread, but often read on all the forums, and with the help of SR, I have not had a drink in over 4 months.
I am dealing now with my first major blow in life while sober. I have found out about unsafe conditions in my home which I bought three months ago. It's not like the pipes were fitted backwards and it's going to cost a lot of money to repair. There are documented health risks associated with my home's unsafe conditions and we may have made it worse. On top of the health risks, yes, it still costs a lot of money to rectify. I am reconsidering living here, although it will be difficult to sell now. I am reconsidering having children, although I very much want to have a family. I can barely eat, I can barely sleep, I can not think of anything except this issue and it's implications on my future and what I had planned for it.
My class of May mates have been immensely supportive and responsive to my change in mood and outlook, and incredibly helpful in maintaining my sobriety.
I just to reach out a little further and see what others had to say about how they dealt with their first major blows to the life they thought they were living while sober, without relapsing. It is like my world is crumbling and forever changing for the worst.
While I have no intention to drink, I have had the most real scariest fantasies about actually drinking, or going to buy alcohol, than I've ever had since I've become sober. If my own house is going to kill me, then why do I bother trying to be healthy, happy, sober, etc.? I know part of it is my anxiety, my OCD, my need for control. But that doesn't make my feeling seem any less real or less important.
This all came on the heels of a major within my closest family unit, which I thought was the first major blow, but now I feel it is a combo blow. Which I"m sure has heightened my anxiety/angst. But it still feels very real, very hopeless, and makes me feel like anything is pointless.

silly

I think you probably meant "it looks like the pipes were fitted backwards"

Didn't the home inspector see this? I think you can take the inspector and the old owners to court if it wasn't disclosed and/or not included in the inspection report.

Regardless, I'm so sorry to hear how rough things are going for you. try to hang in there and focus on one thing at a time.

I don't understand how the pipes could kill you or affect the ability to have children so I'll just say that I'm sorry and I hope you'll always be safe.

OneLessLonely

No, I meant it's not like that. It's not just something like that that needs to be fixed. It's more than something like that that needs to be fixed and is exposing us to carcinogens.

Thepatman

I'm sorry you are going trough such a hard time. I admire your 4 months of accomplishment.

I'm on day 1 so I might not be a great help. I'm scared of the withdrawal I will go trough tonight. My financial situation is a disaster because of my addiction. I know drinking won't fix my issues.

About your house, you might have a legal possibility. This was a hidden condition...

silly

I see. I misread the explanation.

I hope it works out for you OLL!

Anna

I'm sorry you're in an unsafe situation in your home. Are there any government agencies that can help you financially to get out of there or to fix the problem?

I had a huge 'first major blow' when I was about 3 months sober. My daughter, 19 at the time, was targetted by a stalker. He was a stranger. He approached her and told her he had been following her for a year and he knew everything about her. It was beyond terrifying. The next six months were incredibly frightening. I remember thinking at one point, 'If I can get through this, I can get through anything'.

OneLessLonely

Thank you guys very much your responses.
Thepatt, there are many great things that sobriety brings, so please give yourself the chance to see it for yourself. I wouldn't want so badly to remain sober through this difficult time if sobriety didn't bring much to the table all of the time.
Anna, that does sound terrifying. How did you physically and actually deal with not having 100% control over the situation and not knowing what the future held? I hope everything turned out okay. And I like trying to think, "If I can make it through this, I can make it through anything." I have done what I can in calling the EPA, Health Department, etc. I need to hire some to professionally take care of it. I've had two estimates done today, will speak with my husband when he gets home and make a decision. The recommendations are vastly different, all expensive, and my anxiety plays devil's advocate with each option, always ending in our young demises, or unhealthy/nonexistent children. But I am not drinking.

sugarbear1

Have you spoken with an attorney knowledgeable in the field of real estate?

silly

And negotiate! Just like anything else, the people who came to give estimates may have been giving you a line of bull. I had that happen with something as simple as an A/C replacement. One quote was double the other. When I told the first company they said they'd match it. Ummmmmm.... No. If you could do it for half, you should have quoted half. Consider it! Cheaper doesn't always mean bad.

silly

And not to keep jumping in but, I'm a big DIY kind of person. If I can jump in and keep costs down by getting down and dirty, great! So maybe if you have the proper coveralls, gloves, masks, you could do some of the work yourself?