MrsDragon

Last night I stumbled upon one of those Intervention tv shows. I have never watched one before; usually I stay away from all of those types of programs. But this one I don’t know why I couldn’t turn away from; maybe it is because I was feeling emotional because our son just left on his vacation where I cant help but have some fears about him obtaining and using drugs while in a foreign country. Again I don’t know why Im posting this; I normally do not spend time thinking and visualizing him actually using drugs; but that show filmed all of it of course, and so it wasn’t hard to bring on the images of our son with the same glazed eyes with ramblings about being invincible.

Im alright; it will pass. I wont allow myself to be sucked into fear today, but still I want to admit seeing those images hurt; thinking about my son in that way hurt; watching the pain in the eyes of the person they showcased hurt. My husband warned me to stop watching it and so he laid on a pretty thick I told you so…. I just don’t know, maybe I was meant to watch it for some reason; maybe God is trying to ready me for the next “thing” that will happen with our son. Husband says no, that’s ridiculous because those types of shows are on all day and night if I was to go looking; he said to stop giving my fears more visuals to work with, and so about 3am he gave me another visual; also troubling in some ways, but more tied to his new girlfriend and their first night watching the sunset over the sea. With that I was finally able to fall asleep.

Do some of you watch these types of shows; Intervention, and similar on a regular basis? Are they helpful in some way Im missing?

I don’t think there is much there for me to gain from it. The actual intervention while touching was short; and mostly highlighted in this case the pain of the father. Ive already got that perspective down unfortunately.

With this admission and release; I am going to go about enjoying my day. I wish to all of you a good day also.

tjp613

I watch and have watched that show regularly. It has been helpful for me in coming to terms with the reality of my son's addiction and my own. I have learned powerful lessons from the 'interventionists' about what may be required of the family if the addict chooses to continue using drugs.

I try not to hide from reality. Accepting the truth is far less damaging than if I keep my head in the sand which only prolongs suffering.

Misguided

I used to watch the show a long time ago...it made me thankful that I didn't get to the point of needing a full blown intervention and I felt sorry for families who had to go through that.

I have tried to watch more recent episodes and while I try not to be judgemental, I feel sometimes there's a bit of overacting going on for ratings.

Before I'm flamed for my comments, I realized drugs make people do crazy things and makes codies/enablers do crazy things. BUT I am also very cynical when it comes to "reality" tv -- I don't feel it's 100% real and sometimes over exaggerated. I've changed the channel several times after what I thought was simply an act being put on for ratings. :-\

I'm not saying that the show can't help open the eyes of some people, because it can...I just have an issue with people connecting TOO MUCH with what they see on the big screen. Real life is not like what happens on tv or in movies no matter how much they want to classify it as reality tv -- so many details left out or added. We don't know the real stories except for our own.

Freedom1990

I would have to agree with this. I tend to watch it in spurts and spells, from the perspective of a long-term (22 years) recovering addict/alcoholic.

To be honest, there are some episodes that are just too intense for me emotionally, and I change the channel.

SundaysChild

The only episode I ever watched didn't really address the experience I had when we did the intervention.

In my case, the most important part of the intervention was the family education that was done the day before the intervention - and the most lasting changes were those that the intervention triggered in the family. Yes, my son did agree to go to rehab as the result of the intervention...but that just changed his geographic location. Most of the interventionist's work was done with us-- not my son. So the focus of the show on saw on the addict and his addiction did not reflect my reality.

I tend not to watch a lot of TV...I do admit to reading books about families and the journey they've followed with their addicts. Two that I've found helpful are Beautiful Boy and Stay Close.

outtolunch

I have occasionally watched this show. The most painful parts for me are the families, most of whom are in denial and/or have enabled and prevented their loved one from experiencing the consequences of addiction. I was once one of them.

interrupted

I frequently have bad dreams after I watch those shows. I'll admit though that I have always wanted them to do an update show on all of the subjects - sort of a "where are they now?" type of deal. I'm afraid it would be too depressing, though.

YearForMe

You are starting to emerge from that fluffy comfortable blankie called "denial"
Ms. Dragon.....

GardenMama

Watching that show may be exactly what you needed. We all learn and grow with all sorts of tools, and what works for some doesn't for others. Watch it as long as you need to and as long as you are getting something from it besides fear and dread. I also highly recommend Beautiful Boy (haven't read Stay Close yet). It is a very honest and open memoir of a father's journey with his son, beginning with early childhood and on to his son's drug addiction, relapses, and healing. You may find it much more helpful than the show. And don't beat yourself up for having fear. For me, it's just been part of the deal, a real presence, and will remain so (though I hope less and less) while I learn to detach with love and acceptance.

zoso77

I want to respond to this but I'm at school and on my phone. Will respond tonight when I get home.

Ann

I don't ever watch those shows, they trigger the worst in me. I have seen enough drama in real life and really prefer not to watch it on TV.

That's just me and how it is for me.

Hugs

SSHope

I used to watch the show and think how terrible it must be for everyone. I also used to think how terrible the addicts were. Now....I can't bring myself to watch it. Now it is MY family and OUR addict. The pain my family is going through is enough. I can't bring myself to watch them. I have seen my own father break down and sob (something he has never done), and to watch the family at the intervention....far too painful.

I'll be honest, I have trouble watching any show linked to drugs and addiction now. I was so excited to watch the new show, Elementary. Within the first 10 minutes of the pilot it turns out that the lead character is a RA and the girl is his "sober companion" paid for by his rich father. I turned it right away. So much for that show.

Maybe I am too sensitive, but I live the drama in my own family. I choose not to watch others live it when I am trying to unwind and relax. Maybe one day these shows won't upset me as much.

lightseeker

I used to watch it several years ago. The hardest part for me was watching the families and how HAPPY they were when the addict in their life chose to go to treatment. It always made me feel so sad because I know that the hard work is really just beginning. I was frustruated that so many family members did not really understand how sick they had become (or were in the first place) as they dealt with addiction.

Initially when I first watched it - it was because I had some sort of morbid fascination of what active addiction looked like and what it entailed. My ex only was doing crack once around me and I think that I needed some graphic visuals to bring the whole thing home.

Now...I just prefer to stay away. An interesting side note - I've met 2 of the people that have been featured on Intervention. One was a mom that was a low bottom alcoholic. She went to treatment 5 years ago and has remained sober. She had lost her children - and everything else. Now she has a relationship with her kids and is going back to school to be an addiction counselor!

BlueSkiesAgain

I haven't watched any of the alcohol or drug interventions yet but have on occasion watched Hoarders. My teen son who is by all accounts the model son watches it with me and reminds me that on top of having an AS I could be a hoarder so things can be worse.

BlueSkiesAgain

I should say that I mean no disrespect from my above post. I have a need to have my house/life organized. I have often written list of the lists I need to make.

And in reference to the OP, I have an over whelming fear at night. I have to sleep with the lights on in the hall and living room. Having the phone ring in the middle of the night nearly sends me into a panic attack.

zoso77

MrsDragon,

I don't watch any of those shows. I went through hell with an addict not in recovery for over a year, and thankfully, she's taken her act on the road, doing whatever (and whoever) she's doing.

It's obviously a different experience for you because your son is very, very sick, whereas I don't have kids but had a girlfriend that was an addict and 50 shades of crackers. People break up all the time. But your kids are your kids. They're part of you. At the end of the day, there has to be an acceptance on your part that he's on his own on that front and that you can't change the course he's on. Only he can. And I don't see how watching any of those shows aids you in dealing with your son.

MrsDragon

I can reflect on the episode I watched now as I have more removed the association with my son. While I do think mostly it showcased the persons addiction, it did discuss enabling, but only briefly.

And in this case, they were the classics: 32 year old son, didn't work, lives at home with his parents, he used between 500-1500 worth of drugs a day and paid for them buying and selling it sounded like mostly. His parents gave him the phone which he used to initiate the deals, and they also gave him a small weekly allowance. Pretty basic concepts on enabling there, so didn’t learn anything from that part.

Watching that show just added new imagery; someone sitting in the bathroom trying to find a place to stick the needle between the scabs, mixing their drugs, watching a person go and make drug deals.

I don't really think that part of my son's addiction belongs to me; I don't need or want to witness the intimate details of his drug use.

And I guess from a global perspective of drugs and their huge dark world; I'd rather remain somewhat distant; I never want to be a generalized expert.

I guess the one aspect that I did find interesting in this episode; the man had been sexually abused by his babysitter for years while both his parents worked lots of hours. They didn't know & he didn't tell them, but said the need to suppress those feelings is what started him on drugs.

And then, when clean, after he married and had a child the feelings came back, and he told his parents around age 26. He said their reaction was not what he expected because they didn't express what he considered to be enough acknowledgment that he had been abused, harmed, and violated; and that left him feeling again like he was not important, his pain wasnt acknowledged and it left him feeling minimized and less than. He said those negative feelings are what again triggered all of the emotion to wash over him; and to suppress it he started using again.

And they really didn't show much comment on that from the parents. So that is something that I would have found interesting if they had explored the parents feelings more in depth; but then that would have diverted the show into a different realm.

I have never really liked the reality shows where they focus on people being in pain, struggling. Even like the hoarder show Blueskies mentioned. I watched bits of it before but always turn it because it's just sad and depressing; and in a way your son is right Blueskies; they can show us we have a lot to be thankful for despite our own troubles. When you realize "someone really does have it worse" that brings some insight into our own lives I think.

I don't mind mindless reality shows where yes maybe there is dysfunction but there is also caring relationships, some sort of story line to follow. But I'm not into the ones where they film the fighting and backstabbing between the characters as I don't find that type entertaining.


Denial ended for me the night my husband sat on the floor with our son, and talked him into handing over the loaded gun that was in his hands. It ended when I saw him shaking, crying, as he signed himself into a treatment facility for depression and drugs.
One of the things he said during that time I won't ever forget, he wanted to hurt before he died because he thought that would make him feel better. Doctors called it a psychosis from the cocaine. There was more but that one still haunts me. And that was a little over a year ago. A year clean, and now he's picked it back up because he never finished dealing with the cause behind the use. So, I haven't been wrapped in a fluffy blanket for a long time. But I also can't live in that fear or form obsessions because that is not really living; it's just a holding pattern.

MycoolFitz

I don't have TV but I have fear guess it works out

Kimm992

I have watched "Intervention" many times.

I've found it has helped me feel like I'm not alone and that the things I've gone through/go through with the addicts in my life are similar to other people's experiences. It's helped me to realize that my emotions and feelings are normal and that other people experience these things too.

MrsDragon

Good point Kimm. Realizing that others experience similiar things, and seeing they feel much like we do, that alone can be very powerful & healing for loved ones.