Change of pace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Owosso, MI
Posts: 4
Change of pace
I just stumbled upon this site in my attempt in looking for an easy/comfortable way to end my agonizing addiction to Suboxone. I have found inspiration in some of the stories I have read, and feel compelled to share my story to see if someone out there has any advice I haven't already heard to make my recovery something that doesn't look unachievable.
I used to be an avid weightlifter, I used to do many things that your normal American guy would do.. hunt, golf, play the drums, the list goes on and on. I was working at a bus rehabilitation plant rebuilding old busses for the city of Boston. One day at work I had a severe headache, I was approached by a fellow employee who had gave me a 7.5mg Vicodin for the pain. It worked pretty quick in relieving my headache, and came with a euphoric feeling that I immediately fell in love with. Before I knew it I was taking four or five Vicodin at a time just for the buzz, I had no need for them for any kind of pain. This went on for about a year, and it seemed I was getting to accustomed to the Vicodin that I was just not getting the high that I was searching for.
I had a friend that I used to get my pills from that I was bitching to one day about having to take to many of them to get a buzz. It was getting expensive, and by that time I had a physical dependence to them (which sucks). He had some coffin shaped pills that he suggested I try, them pills being Methadone. I really didn't want anything to do with them but he assured me that they were just like Vicodin. So stupid me I bought some and took one, and yeah it was the high I was looking for only cheaper, and more abundant in the town we lived in. At this time the city, and county I reside in you could walk into a number of doctors offices and walk out with a prescription for Methadone, or Vicodin, or pretty much whatever you wanted. I never personally did, I just had a lot of friends that did and I could easily buy them whenever I wanted. Well that ended pretty quick with a lot of doctors getting busted for prescribing things they shouldn't of been to people that didn't need it (I feel bad for the people that actually did need them because getting them now was near impossible). Around this time I had the worst day of my life. I went to bed after having grrreat sex with my fiance only to wake up a few hours later to find her deceased in the bathroom downstairs (she DID NOT do drugs, nor die of an overdose). This depression only elevated my use of drugs.
With no way for me, and a number of people in my town to obtain Methadone (due to the arrest of all the doctors) I turned to the darkest of all drugs HEROIN!! At first I was like **** it I'm so sick I don't even care give me the **** and I'll snort it, so I did. It was the same exact buzz as if I were to take a bunch of Vicodin, so I instantly fell in love with it. I would buy a tenth and snort it and give a little to my new wife to calm her down from smoking crack all night, which yes I participated in that as well. All this snorting was starting to just not be enough, and of course there's always a friend doing something bad that is trying to con you into doing it as well, in this case it was injecting the "boy" as what it's called on the street. "All your doing is wasting it" is what he kept saying about snorting it, which I came to find out when I first shot it he was right. The buzz you get from shooting it up is way more intense than tooting it, and it's the same exact amount.
After losing my house, my kids, my wife, my car, and **** even my dog, enough is enough. I got back on methadone, this time at a clinic in Lansing. I started out taking 40mg a day being that's what they start everyone on. My dosage began to rise every week because I would whine that it wasn't enough, eventually it reached 100mg a day. One day I missed going to the clinic due to having absolutely no money for gas so I had gotten a piece of a Suboxone from a friend to try. This is something that I urge nobody to do, with Methadone in your system still, the Suboxone interacts with it and sets you into immediate withdraw, the worst of the worst withdraw too. After I found out why it did that to me I decided to try Suboxone again (no methadone this time) and found it to be the answer I was looking for to my drug addiction. I have always only taken just a little compared to what I see everyone else taking, about 4mg's at first, I'm down to taking 2mg's now. I just can't seem to take that leap and just get through the lovely torture known as opiate withdraw. The first night is normal but the feeling starts to come on, that frightening feeling that you know whats coming. Then the next couple nights will be muscle cramping hell with a side of the *****, not something I enjoy! The longest I have been clean is twelve days and that's only because I had gotten incarcerated awhile ago for an unpaid speeding ticket...lol. Yeah that was tons of fun going through withdraw in a concrete cell with 12 stinky guys to keep you company, they really enjoyed my pain. I think I may have slept 20 hours the entire time I was there, not out of fear just from the withdraw alone.
I have had a lot of friends overdose, I've caused a lot of pain, there's a mecca of things I have yet to do in my life so It's just come time to quit. I took my last piece of a Suboxone this morning, and I am not going to take the drug anymore. I will try to keep this updated through my endeavor, Wish me luck...
I used to be an avid weightlifter, I used to do many things that your normal American guy would do.. hunt, golf, play the drums, the list goes on and on. I was working at a bus rehabilitation plant rebuilding old busses for the city of Boston. One day at work I had a severe headache, I was approached by a fellow employee who had gave me a 7.5mg Vicodin for the pain. It worked pretty quick in relieving my headache, and came with a euphoric feeling that I immediately fell in love with. Before I knew it I was taking four or five Vicodin at a time just for the buzz, I had no need for them for any kind of pain. This went on for about a year, and it seemed I was getting to accustomed to the Vicodin that I was just not getting the high that I was searching for.
I had a friend that I used to get my pills from that I was bitching to one day about having to take to many of them to get a buzz. It was getting expensive, and by that time I had a physical dependence to them (which sucks). He had some coffin shaped pills that he suggested I try, them pills being Methadone. I really didn't want anything to do with them but he assured me that they were just like Vicodin. So stupid me I bought some and took one, and yeah it was the high I was looking for only cheaper, and more abundant in the town we lived in. At this time the city, and county I reside in you could walk into a number of doctors offices and walk out with a prescription for Methadone, or Vicodin, or pretty much whatever you wanted. I never personally did, I just had a lot of friends that did and I could easily buy them whenever I wanted. Well that ended pretty quick with a lot of doctors getting busted for prescribing things they shouldn't of been to people that didn't need it (I feel bad for the people that actually did need them because getting them now was near impossible). Around this time I had the worst day of my life. I went to bed after having grrreat sex with my fiance only to wake up a few hours later to find her deceased in the bathroom downstairs (she DID NOT do drugs, nor die of an overdose). This depression only elevated my use of drugs.
With no way for me, and a number of people in my town to obtain Methadone (due to the arrest of all the doctors) I turned to the darkest of all drugs HEROIN!! At first I was like **** it I'm so sick I don't even care give me the **** and I'll snort it, so I did. It was the same exact buzz as if I were to take a bunch of Vicodin, so I instantly fell in love with it. I would buy a tenth and snort it and give a little to my new wife to calm her down from smoking crack all night, which yes I participated in that as well. All this snorting was starting to just not be enough, and of course there's always a friend doing something bad that is trying to con you into doing it as well, in this case it was injecting the "boy" as what it's called on the street. "All your doing is wasting it" is what he kept saying about snorting it, which I came to find out when I first shot it he was right. The buzz you get from shooting it up is way more intense than tooting it, and it's the same exact amount.
After losing my house, my kids, my wife, my car, and **** even my dog, enough is enough. I got back on methadone, this time at a clinic in Lansing. I started out taking 40mg a day being that's what they start everyone on. My dosage began to rise every week because I would whine that it wasn't enough, eventually it reached 100mg a day. One day I missed going to the clinic due to having absolutely no money for gas so I had gotten a piece of a Suboxone from a friend to try. This is something that I urge nobody to do, with Methadone in your system still, the Suboxone interacts with it and sets you into immediate withdraw, the worst of the worst withdraw too. After I found out why it did that to me I decided to try Suboxone again (no methadone this time) and found it to be the answer I was looking for to my drug addiction. I have always only taken just a little compared to what I see everyone else taking, about 4mg's at first, I'm down to taking 2mg's now. I just can't seem to take that leap and just get through the lovely torture known as opiate withdraw. The first night is normal but the feeling starts to come on, that frightening feeling that you know whats coming. Then the next couple nights will be muscle cramping hell with a side of the *****, not something I enjoy! The longest I have been clean is twelve days and that's only because I had gotten incarcerated awhile ago for an unpaid speeding ticket...lol. Yeah that was tons of fun going through withdraw in a concrete cell with 12 stinky guys to keep you company, they really enjoyed my pain. I think I may have slept 20 hours the entire time I was there, not out of fear just from the withdraw alone.
I have had a lot of friends overdose, I've caused a lot of pain, there's a mecca of things I have yet to do in my life so It's just come time to quit. I took my last piece of a Suboxone this morning, and I am not going to take the drug anymore. I will try to keep this updated through my endeavor, Wish me luck...
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 198
Good luck! I jumped from 1mg/day and it wasn't pleasant or comfortable, but do-able. Expect it to take a week or two to start to feel true improvement.... you can do it!
I'm 2.5 months off the stuff, so if I can do it, anybody can.
I'm 2.5 months off the stuff, so if I can do it, anybody can.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Owosso, MI
Posts: 4
Thanx Dragonfire613 after taking what I had left I am now 6 days completely clean... Hating the insomnia/restless body syndrome and smoking a shitload of cigs.. getting some normality will be worth it.
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 198
You're doing great and are probably hitting the worst of it about now... seems like for me things started improving around 8-10 days, and REALLY started improving after 2-3 weeks. I still struggle from time to time, but for me it seems like a hurdle will come up once in awhile, and once I conquer it then things overall get better and better as time goes on. Keep it up, you're doing it!
Queen of recovery!!!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 7
I'm still in the lowering phase being prescribed by my doctor. Thank you for sharing and I am very proud of you for going through hell and back and still be willing to do this! Good job and I wish you every success! Please keep us updated!
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