turt

Today marks two weeks sober for myself. The withdrawals are over and physically I'm feeling good. I want to thank everyone for sharing their stories on this site because I don't think I would be doing as well without it. I've been drinking for 13 years, with just a couple weeks of sobriety during that time. As well, I've abused many drugs during that time....opiates and THC mainly. I've been clean from the drugs since Feb. and now I have two weeks off of the booze.

I'm determined to stay clean. However, I'm still adjusting to being "clear headed". I've become so used to being screwed up that being sober is simply odd, if not just down right uncanny. I feel I've developed a cognitive dissonance with being high and being sober. I feel that my waking hours are untextured and hollow.

I'm sure this is a common symptom following withdrawal, but I was wondering if anyone else experienced this and if so, is this transient?

Dee74

Hi and welcome Turt - I certainly felt that way for a while...a little shell shocked?

It was like I couldn't quite trust being clear headed...I certainly didn't trust not being sad..but I did get used to it and come to accept that this was real and I could live this way

D

elihoping

Exactly how I'm feeling, Turt. Where are all these highs and lows everyone talks about?!

Scolova

I get an odd feeling of dementia (Derealization) every now and then, it started getting real bad, daily, during the last few years of my drinking (sure wish I had stopped sooner but of course I just kept on binging.) After one year sober now, I still cannot drive up on the interstate much, but I have recovered very well in most every other way.
Congrats on quitting the drugs and alcohol, I smoked pot daily for most of my 20s, then drank away my 30s. I was always trying to disconnect, distance myself from my reality. Being sober and living in 'the here and now' is a huge change in lifestyle.

hypochondriac

Well done on 2 weeks Turt! That's ace

Initially I had this feeling of being too conscious which just felt really scary to me, But then the sleepiness took over and I was all too grateful for that For a long time and particularly in my second month I felt like I was walking around in a fog and everything seemed really far away. It was odd... It took months before I actually felt clear headed and it was a novel feeling. What came before wasn't bad though, and it was a good transition. I think I would have been more freaked out if I didn't have that spaced out feeling inbetween drunkenness and clear headedness...

So yeah, it is transient... but if it is really bothering you it might be worth talking to a doctor about it x

janelee

Hang in there Turt x

Hevyn

I definitely felt that way for awhile. Couldn't quite put my finger on what it was - but it was real! After a few months I felt much more clearheaded. You aren't alone. Congratulations on your two weeks - that is fabulous work!

turt

Thanks everyone for your posts. It's reassuring to know others feel the "derealization" that Scolova mentioned. I've spent the last 13 years so "spaced" that sobriety doesn't feel like I remember it did. I'm sure there has been significant brain wear and damage done due to the abuses. I'm hoping with time that I'll become more acclimated to this new state of mental solitude.

Quinne

This is something I grappled with for the first 60-odd days. I spoke to a Neurosurgeon as I thought & almost wanted to believe it had a purely physiological, organic basis after sustaining a head injury. I was told it's just my mind getting back to equilibrium. It is transient, yes I'd recommend not trying to ve too hard on yourself or place too much pressure....for me, to a small degree, anxiety would act as a bit of a catalyst. I'd let friends and my ex know that if my behaviour was a bit off-kilter, then it was just my "squidgy head" getting the better of me.

Hang in there!

Xx

Auvers

Your description of feeling hollow and untextured is a very accurate description of how I felt for the first 70 days or more. Did not shake the depersonalized feeling enough to actually feel significant enjoyment until about 13 weeks. I hope you can keep stress to a minimum during these important early weeks, also not expect too much of yourself other than sobriety. Once the flat affect recedes, vibrancy sprouts! It's coming!