Schafer81

My Mother just got of rehab again. This time she could of killed herself. She had my children while she was drinking. I love my mother more than anything and never would believe she would drink while watching my children She loves them so much and would never intentionally put them in harm. I'm so hurt and angry. I feel like I can never voice my hurt as we dont want her to start to drink again. We are walking on eggshells again. Dont say anything to upset her. Her doctor told her not to feel guilty but the guilt is sending her into a depression. I feel like I could punch her for doing this again and to my kids. I have confused feelings to scream at her for what she has put me, my brother and now my children but also want to protect her so we can move on yet again. I dont like seeing her in pain but can't continue for her to put me through this.

Pelican

Did she get out of rehabilitation (from a facility for addiction) or did she get out of detox at a medical center?

You are not powerful enough to cause her to drink. She is in control of when she drinks.

You may love your mother more than anything, but an alcoholic loves alcohol more than children and/or grandchildren.

Have you tried Alanon meetings yet?
I learned about detaching, with love, from my alcoholic loved one through alanon and alanon literature.

Pelican

Here is a link to one our sticky posts that contains steps. I followed these steps and they helped me with my loved one:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html

NWGRITS

I went No Contact with my mother almost three months ago after she was found alone with my children with a BAC of .3. She was with them for a mere two hours while my aunt took my grandmother to a doctor's appointment. I'm 3,000 miles away from them, and the kids were visiting their dad and my family for the summer. My decision to go NC was a no-brainer. You put my kids in danger, you're cut off. She's only talked to them once, and that was on my son's birthday. I don't plan on doing that again. They're better off just not talking to her.

My family of enablers tried begging us to let her see the kids. They said that it would kill her if we cut her off. Nice try. The only thing that's going to kill her is her alcoholism, for which none of us is responsible. There's nothing any of us do to make her drink, and there's nothing we can do to make her stop. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down, and make yourself and your kids your priority.

Tuffgirl

Also remember the three C's - you didn't cause her to drink, you can't cure her (nor change life so she isn't 'stressed out enough' to relapse), and you can't control it.

And yes, it is baffling to think your Mother puts drinking ahead of the safety of her grandchildren. But I can assure you it isn't about them or her love for them...it is about a compulsion to drink that is all-consuming. Have you read Under the Influence?

Titanic

Sad.

NC doesn't have to be forever. It can be for just Now.

CentralOhioDad

My M-I-L got drunk when she was taking care of our 3-month old and my Wife was in the hospital, and I was with my Wife.

I will never forget, forgive, accept that.