What is your trigger?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 108
What is your trigger?
Each of us more than likely has at least one trigger which is a response to something somebody else (a spouse, significant other, loved one, friend, acquaintance, etc.) said or did which creates that intense urge to just run and get a drink. You know the exclamation "you drive me to drink!" I actually believe that we can let others drive us to that, if we let it occur.
Mine always has been when my wife gets really upset with me, I don't let it go, she gets more upset and says things she obviously does not mean, and then I feel horrible about myself and run to the nearest pub in defense. Kind of a messed up defense mechanism, and fortunately my wife and I are confronting the trigger point head on with a therapist. Another is when my kids only reach out to me when they want money, but they never answer my texts or phone calls just wanting to say "hello" or "how are you doing?" That makes me feel used (note that they have done nothing, but I construct a reaction in my head). Those are two of mine, which I am directly addressing to ensure I know how to defuse my unhealthy defense mechanisms.
What are your "interpersonal triggers?" Is it a mean boss, a rude neighbor, a clingy significant other? I think it is healthy to acknowledge those things which perhaps are not intended but to which we react with the excuse to go get a drink to make it all better (which of course it never does).
Mine always has been when my wife gets really upset with me, I don't let it go, she gets more upset and says things she obviously does not mean, and then I feel horrible about myself and run to the nearest pub in defense. Kind of a messed up defense mechanism, and fortunately my wife and I are confronting the trigger point head on with a therapist. Another is when my kids only reach out to me when they want money, but they never answer my texts or phone calls just wanting to say "hello" or "how are you doing?" That makes me feel used (note that they have done nothing, but I construct a reaction in my head). Those are two of mine, which I am directly addressing to ensure I know how to defuse my unhealthy defense mechanisms.
What are your "interpersonal triggers?" Is it a mean boss, a rude neighbor, a clingy significant other? I think it is healthy to acknowledge those things which perhaps are not intended but to which we react with the excuse to go get a drink to make it all better (which of course it never does).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I think the key word you use there is excuse.....I think relapses are premeditated....I haven't had one since I committed to this sobriety deal....Yet....Thank God. But I have seen them coming for people in AA as well as people on this board. I look at a trigger as an excuse....A slightly open door....And not something that just comes out of the blue.
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
Emotional pain is my BIG trigger. I am learning that often this emotional pain is about my own lack of acceptance or self esteem than a justified reaction to the words or actions or situation of others , others mainly being my ex husband and oldest daughter.
Then number two on the trigger list is feeling "separate from". Like being at a meeting and thinking, "wth am I doing here, eff this".
So I found meetings that are more suitable to me.
Thanks for this thread, I have been thinking about the emotional pain trigger a lot lately because I never saw it so clearly before for what it really is.
Then number two on the trigger list is feeling "separate from". Like being at a meeting and thinking, "wth am I doing here, eff this".
So I found meetings that are more suitable to me.
Thanks for this thread, I have been thinking about the emotional pain trigger a lot lately because I never saw it so clearly before for what it really is.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 174
It can be anything!
Friday night - because its Friday
Saturday - because its Saturday
Sunday - to get over Friday and Saturday
A football match, a party, a wedding, a movie, sunny day, rainy day, any bloody day!!
Friday night - because its Friday
Saturday - because its Saturday
Sunday - to get over Friday and Saturday
A football match, a party, a wedding, a movie, sunny day, rainy day, any bloody day!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
You'd think if someone has been sober for
22 yrs. then they wouldn't have anything
major to upset them or there wouldnt be
any triggers in everyday life that would raise
red flags that would cause them to say, "man,
that would be enough to cause me to drink."
Well, it does. Not too often, but when people,
places or things are not to my standards, or
to my liking, then, my feathers get ruffled and
my anxiety is raised several notches,
and it's not really that I want to drink over it,
because I know that one drink would destroy
all that Ive built my recovery on and wouldnt
solve my problems at all.
My trigger came yesterday when I rolled the lawn
mower to the front yard. After working hard to
manicure our yrd. for the last 2 yrs., i decided
the hell with it and just keep it simple and mow
the darn thing down like a bad hair cut. :rotfxko
When you take pride in your home, yrd, cars, self,
and someone comes to destroy it, then one cant
help but want to get mad and possibly want to
numb the pain of resentments with alcohol or drugs.
Our home is the first one to see if your coming
down the street and so, I worked at getting it
mowed and edged nicely. Then you get walkers
who allow their dogs to come crap on your nice
lawn or like when we just had a hurricane to
come thru with some flooding, and whoever
it was rolled their tires on the tall edging to
squoosh it down.
In recovery, when applying the tools and knowledge
of a recovery program to my everyday life and for
the past 22 yrs, It is dangerous to hold resentments
towards others that destroy property or just dont
give a d*m what time, effort and pride another takes
on their yrds.
So, even tho I dont want to drink, i still wanted
to get even and decided to
butcher my
lawn, lol, and mowed it to the ground with edging
even to concrete instead of a nice visible one.
I'll keep my backyard nice to enjoy and the hell
with the front. BUT.....I wont drink over my decision,
and continue to practice acceptance over things
that are meant to be.
Continueing to be a work in progress.
22 yrs. then they wouldn't have anything
major to upset them or there wouldnt be
any triggers in everyday life that would raise
red flags that would cause them to say, "man,
that would be enough to cause me to drink."
Well, it does. Not too often, but when people,
places or things are not to my standards, or
to my liking, then, my feathers get ruffled and
my anxiety is raised several notches,
and it's not really that I want to drink over it,
because I know that one drink would destroy
all that Ive built my recovery on and wouldnt
solve my problems at all.
My trigger came yesterday when I rolled the lawn
mower to the front yard. After working hard to
manicure our yrd. for the last 2 yrs., i decided
the hell with it and just keep it simple and mow
the darn thing down like a bad hair cut. :rotfxko
When you take pride in your home, yrd, cars, self,
and someone comes to destroy it, then one cant
help but want to get mad and possibly want to
numb the pain of resentments with alcohol or drugs.
Our home is the first one to see if your coming
down the street and so, I worked at getting it
mowed and edged nicely. Then you get walkers
who allow their dogs to come crap on your nice
lawn or like when we just had a hurricane to
come thru with some flooding, and whoever
it was rolled their tires on the tall edging to
squoosh it down.
In recovery, when applying the tools and knowledge
of a recovery program to my everyday life and for
the past 22 yrs, It is dangerous to hold resentments
towards others that destroy property or just dont
give a d*m what time, effort and pride another takes
on their yrds.
So, even tho I dont want to drink, i still wanted
to get even and decided to
butcher mylawn, lol, and mowed it to the ground with edging
even to concrete instead of a nice visible one.
I'll keep my backyard nice to enjoy and the hell
with the front. BUT.....I wont drink over my decision,
and continue to practice acceptance over things
that are meant to be.
Continueing to be a work in progress.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
I don't have those 'trigger moments' anymore but when I was early in recovery my biggest trigger was boredom. I used to drink just to kill time (and boy did it ever 'kill' time
) So now I just get thru boredom another way, like napping, and it's no longer an excuse to drink.
) So now I just get thru boredom another way, like napping, and it's no longer an excuse to drink. Sober since Jan 1, 2012
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,583
Coming home from work after a hard day (stress). When I'm overly hungry and stressed, that's when I'm at my worst mental state. So I avoid getting like that, and if I do get there, I work hard at rectifying the situation.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters 
I'm an alcoholic .... I'm inclined to get drunk.
All the best.
Bob R
All the best.
Bob R
You've been in the fellowship for 24 yrs, and you're still "inclined" to get drunk?
Seriously?
What sober message are you passing on with your disclosure? I gotta tell you, for me, its not a hopeful message of how sobriety works in AA...
Is your alcoholism not beyond triggers yet, after 24 years?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Keep Trying
Posts: 370
Feeling lonely or left out like people don't like me.
Definitely CASINOs trigger me. I don't think I can go in one again fo a very long time because I like to just get obliterated there unfortunately.
Definitely CASINOs trigger me. I don't think I can go in one again fo a very long time because I like to just get obliterated there unfortunately.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
That's funny, Casinos don't trigger me at all... My blackjack game (low table minimums and strict limits, time or $$) is much better now, sober ... I don't go all that often, but I do enjoy it...
No triggers anymore... But really good times with good friends or family, if there is beer around, I will get a little wistful... but it passes quickly, I crack open a diet coke or something and the good times keep rolling!!
Bad times, not at all, alcohol makes everything that's bad, worse...
... I don't go all that often, but I do enjoy it...No triggers anymore... But really good times with good friends or family, if there is beer around, I will get a little wistful... but it passes quickly, I crack open a diet coke or something and the good times keep rolling!!
Bad times, not at all, alcohol makes everything that's bad, worse...
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