j2468

Hello, i am new here. I am 36 years old, two children, 1 husband, two jobs, 1 giant monkey on my back! I've been addicted to pain pills for 12 years. I don't wanna go through my whole shameful life story, so I'll start where I am now. I found a sub Dr about a year and a few months ago. Now upon entering the program I was told I'd be finished in 6 mos.....I was ready and excited. I've been reading where people are going through w/ds as they are tapering off these subs, and that scares me! So, my doctor tapered me down to 3/4 of an 8mg strip a day.......over a year later. My problem is that I am SO tired ALL the time. I literally cry for a few minutes when I wake up in the morning to get ready for work and get my children ready for school. Facing the whole day just seems so hard to me every day. I'm not withdrawing or anything, I don't know why I feel like this every day! I am a dental assistant and I work at a restaurant some nights. I try to act happy for my kids, but as soon as I drop them off at their schools, i just feel like crying again. I tell my doctor and he just says, "Well thats real life", or "You work a lot, you probably ARE tired, try to rest", so I just suck it up and go on pretending to be happy. I take my 3/4 strip of sub in the morning and I don't have any physical discomfort until about 7 or 8 at night, then I just go to bed shortly thereafter. Will I ever get over this awful feeling of exhaustion, and frustration, and lack of motivation?? Sorry this is so long!