newcomer and needs encouragement to quit
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3
newcomer and needs encouragement to quit
I'm a 58 year old grandmother who drinks 3 - 4 glasses of wine every night. I do refrain when I have my grandson here so I know I can do this. Maybe it's more a habit? I come home from work and the first thing I do is pour a glass of wine to wind down. My husband used to join me but has some health issues and is now not drinking. He does not lecture or berate me for drinking. I am disgusted with myself. I'm becoming mean to him and do not remember phone calls or conversations I've had with him or family members. The anxiety I feel in the morning is sometimes crippling. I must stop this! Why do I keep it up knowing it's not good for my physical or mental health? I am overweight ( a lot), high bp, depression (meds), gerd, cpap for breathing at night. I am so disgusted with myself!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR dcallahan....You can stop for good....A lot of people here have done it....It takes some work...But it's doable. Look into a recovery plan and read and post here. Glad you found the site!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Welcome, DCallahan. You can definitely quit drinking if you want to, and it sounds like you want to. My experience is that my depression and anxiety turned out to be caused by alcohol, and that my life now has a beauty and a joy that I had been looking for in the wrong places.
What are you going to do? Are you ready to make a plan about your use of alcohol? Not much will happen until you do. Keep posting here, there is a lot of support for you.
What are you going to do? Are you ready to make a plan about your use of alcohol? Not much will happen until you do. Keep posting here, there is a lot of support for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 3
Not sure what to do. I am a private person and will not go to AA. I will try a walk instead of a drink when I get home from work. I live at the beach and will use it's tranquility to full advantage. Reading the postings here are so motivating for me. I will read daily.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Hi and welcome 
I use this site to maintain my sobriety. I come here everyday, it's a great place!
I had to quit for health reasons and don't use AA. It can be done, you just have to want to quit. Glad you are here.
I use this site to maintain my sobriety. I come here everyday, it's a great place!
I had to quit for health reasons and don't use AA. It can be done, you just have to want to quit. Glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Welcome dcallahan. You wrote: "Why do I keep it up knowing it's not good for my physical or mental health?: Oh boy, did I ask myself this very same question. Call it alcoholism or a terrible terrible habit, it really doesn't matter. In my case, I know that my body's ability to break down alcohol (all sugars for that matter) is compromised, leaving me craving for more. So I don't drink. It's a choice that's no longer on the table for me. There is no need to label ourselves. We can accept that drinking alcohol is not part of a life style that works for us and take it from there. The skid row alcoholic is really a rarity. The vast majority of alcoholics/problem drinkers have a roof over their heads, families, jobs, etc. They are you and me. I also drank a bottle of wine most nights before I quit 4 months ago. The first month or so was filled with mental cravings. These subside and soon you'll catch yourself realizing that drinking has not crossed your mind in a couple of days. Yes, this does happen and it is the sweetest feeling. Once we quit, and stay quit, the obsession diminishes and eventually leave us. Give sobriety a chance. Your blood pressure and weight will go down. Also, the older we are the harsher it is on our bodies. It will only get worse health wise for you if you don't quit.
Best wishes on this challenging but amazing journey dear,
Natalie
Best wishes on this challenging but amazing journey dear,
Natalie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 53
I have lurked here for while. I am about your age (57). Started drinking too much about 5 years ago. There was a very painful divorce. I can relate to things you said. I am so ashamed of myself. I am 6 days sober now. I want to do it this time. Fortunately, I didn't find the withdrawal that bad. I am in some minor pain, but I think it may be an unrelated issue. It is on the right side of my body so I fear it has to do with my liver. However, I may be being paranoid. But I thank God for this minor pain like it is a constant reminder "do not drink", you do not know exactly what this pain is. I did find that my blood pressure is too high. That also can be a result of too much alcohol.
Anyway keep your head up and find techniques that work for you. Wish you the best.
Anyway keep your head up and find techniques that work for you. Wish you the best.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family! 
I got sober with the help of my counselor and this site. I've been sober now for almost three years after being convinced I was hopeless. But I kept trying and finally made it and am enjoying my life for the first time in a long while. I wish you the best on your journey to a sober life. It's worth it!
I got sober with the help of my counselor and this site. I've been sober now for almost three years after being convinced I was hopeless. But I kept trying and finally made it and am enjoying my life for the first time in a long while. I wish you the best on your journey to a sober life. It's worth it! Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by dcallahan 
I'm a 58 year old grandmother who drinks 3 - 4 glasses of wine every night. I do refrain when I have my grandson here so I know I can do this. Maybe it's more a habit? I come home from work and the first thing I do is pour a glass of wine to wind down. My husband used to join me but has some health issues and is now not drinking. He does not lecture or berate me for drinking. I am disgusted with myself. I'm becoming mean to him and do not remember phone calls or conversations I've had with him or family members. The anxiety I feel in the morning is sometimes crippling. I must stop this! Why do I keep it up knowing it's not good for my physical or mental health? I am overweight ( a lot), high bp, depression (meds), gerd, cpap for breathing at night. I am so disgusted with myself!
I'm coming up on 69 yrs old and have been sober in Alcoholics Anonymous for over 23 yrs.
My friend, Georgina, came into AA at 70 yrs old so there is always hope.
I suggest you Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous"... see if you identify.
Oh ... and why do you keep it up when you know it's bad for you ?? Because that's what we do left untreated.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by dcallahan
Not sure what to do. I am a private person and will not go to AA.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: London
Posts: 109
dCallahan welcome to SR! You can totally quit drinking if you feel ready. It sounds like you are. I was expecting to have this moment (like in a film - it sounds silly!) when I knew I would put the drink down, and never drink again. In reality, I just got to the point where I felt too tired. I was tired of waking up every day feeling like crap, tired of the embarrasment (checking my phone every morning for drunk texts/calls/facebook/tweets), tired of apologising for the stuff I've said and done. I'm 27, but I felt about 107. I don't think age matters at all, if you are at the point when you can't carry on like this and you want to improve your life/health/family/relationships then you can do it!
Like you my husband doesn't drink. But he has supported me, and although I was terrified of what he thought of me, he has been supportive.
I would encourage you to talk to your doctor and get all the help/support you can. I know you don't want to do AA, but there's loads of online help as a good alternative.
Good luck! You can do this :-)
Like you my husband doesn't drink. But he has supported me, and although I was terrified of what he thought of me, he has been supportive.
I would encourage you to talk to your doctor and get all the help/support you can. I know you don't want to do AA, but there's loads of online help as a good alternative.
Good luck! You can do this :-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsburg, Pa.
Posts: 389
Hi...I'm 60 now, and despite being in a loooong bi-polar down, I have managed close to 30 days sober...I am convinced I need to this now, as I might not make it back to sobriety....THAT scares the hell out of me. I do know support is here. My best wishes to you...keep up the positive thoughts !
Raku
Raku
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 10
Hi DCallahan - your story is my story. Why do we do this when we know we have to stop. I actually considered suicide last night. I would never do it, but just thinking about it scares me.
I have been snooping around this site to try and get comfortable. I can relate to so many folks here. I have a good feeling about this site.
I wish you the best.
I have been snooping around this site to try and get comfortable. I can relate to so many folks here. I have a good feeling about this site.
I wish you the best.
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