Just Now Reaching Out...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 29
Just Now Reaching Out...
Hi everyone I have been a lurker here off and on for months. I average about 12 beers a day. Have been drinking pretty steadily for about 14 years. Having one now as I type. Beer drinking has cost me clients, (I am a personal trainer, how hypocritical does that sound?), health issues, you know how it goes.
I can go days without drinking, but I always go back to it. I have only recently started to seek help to stop. I have always been one who likes to do things on my own but I really need support and guidance. I am tired of feeling like my life has been wasted the last 14 years. The guilt and shame are crushing, I feel like I don't even know my kids like I should and I would give my life for them.
Don't really know what else to say at the moment.
Oh well, Hi everyone!!!!
I can go days without drinking, but I always go back to it. I have only recently started to seek help to stop. I have always been one who likes to do things on my own but I really need support and guidance. I am tired of feeling like my life has been wasted the last 14 years. The guilt and shame are crushing, I feel like I don't even know my kids like I should and I would give my life for them.
Don't really know what else to say at the moment.
Oh well, Hi everyone!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Planet Earth (most days)
Posts: 1,596
Welcome, Griffman! You have done the right thing by coming to these forums looking for help. Now you need to get rid of that beer because it is not doing you any favors. I have been reading and posting here almost daily since I got sober 18 days ago. You will feel so much better once you stop drinking alcohol; physically, spiritually, mentally. Glad you are here!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the site!
This is a wonderful place for support and understanding. With the help of the people here (and my counselor) I've been sober for over two years and am now living a good life. Give it a try. I love my sober life.
This is a wonderful place for support and understanding. With the help of the people here (and my counselor) I've been sober for over two years and am now living a good life. Give it a try. I love my sober life.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Hello Griffman,
Welcome in from being a lurker ( hello
i know there are more of you out there) to someone who does something, you can change if you want to, I did .
So what you going to do or try ?
Bestwishes, M
Welcome in from being a lurker ( hello
i know there are more of you out there) to someone who does something, you can change if you want to, I did . So what you going to do or try ?
Bestwishes, M
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Welcome!
You haven't wasted 14 years, rather the experience has brought you to this point in your life where you are willing to trust and to grow. That's what life is about. I'm glad you want to be the best person you can and the best Dad that you can be.
You haven't wasted 14 years, rather the experience has brought you to this point in your life where you are willing to trust and to grow. That's what life is about. I'm glad you want to be the best person you can and the best Dad that you can be.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Welcome
I enjoy doing things by myself also, except this is not one that I can do alone.. Sobriety is asking for help and working with others..
I am a proud member of AA and it worked for the alcoholic...
I enjoy doing things by myself also, except this is not one that I can do alone.. Sobriety is asking for help and working with others..
I am a proud member of AA and it worked for the alcoholic...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Water's Edge
Posts: 239
Griffman, welcome and hope you will find the encouragement you are looking for to begin living without the cloud of alcohol over your life.
You mentioned guilt and shame, I know about those feelings very well. Just amazing how they lift off and gradually go away over the first few months of sobriety. You are lucky to have a lot of knowledge about taking care of yourself physically and that will help you when you commit to putting your knowledge to work in your best interests. You also have an awareness that alcohol is causing you problems and that you keep recycling the problem, that's a big step, hope you will take the next one!
You mentioned guilt and shame, I know about those feelings very well. Just amazing how they lift off and gradually go away over the first few months of sobriety. You are lucky to have a lot of knowledge about taking care of yourself physically and that will help you when you commit to putting your knowledge to work in your best interests. You also have an awareness that alcohol is causing you problems and that you keep recycling the problem, that's a big step, hope you will take the next one!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 29
Thanks for the warm welcome everybody. Mecanix asked what am I going to do or try? I really don't know. I have contacted a local church and they have a program called Celebrate Recovery. I told them I would be at their meeting recently, but backed out, thinking "if i want to get off alcohol, then i will stop without going to a talk group."
I don't know what I am waiting for. Sometimes I think by quitting I will feel SO STUPID about my past and how I DIDN'T live my life to the full. I know it is just a mind trick I am playing on myself. I really want to be free, once and for all.
Where should I go on the forums from here? Should I go to the main discussions or stay here a bit?
I don't know what I am waiting for. Sometimes I think by quitting I will feel SO STUPID about my past and how I DIDN'T live my life to the full. I know it is just a mind trick I am playing on myself. I really want to be free, once and for all.
Where should I go on the forums from here? Should I go to the main discussions or stay here a bit?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 259
Welcome Griffman...You live in one of my favorite states!
Come join us in the class of September; we are all recently sober and it's a wonderful group of people going through similar struggles in these early days.
I can identify with everything you are saying; especially about the guilt and shame. I got something pretty helpful out of your last post, and I want to share my way of thinking about what you wrote...maybe it will help you? You talk about feeling stupid for wasting your life away and not living it to the fullest...Guess what, you can put an end to that TODAY and start living to your fullest potential. Don't waste any more time...Thank you for writing that because I'm going through a LOT of negative negative consequences from my drinking recently and what you wrote, and what it made me think (and share here) really helped me. THANK YOU...
SEE...you're already helping other members! Let us help you too. Welcome aboard and I will be thinking of you. Dump those beers out and start your new life with us as support!
Come join us in the class of September; we are all recently sober and it's a wonderful group of people going through similar struggles in these early days.
I can identify with everything you are saying; especially about the guilt and shame. I got something pretty helpful out of your last post, and I want to share my way of thinking about what you wrote...maybe it will help you? You talk about feeling stupid for wasting your life away and not living it to the fullest...Guess what, you can put an end to that TODAY and start living to your fullest potential. Don't waste any more time...Thank you for writing that because I'm going through a LOT of negative negative consequences from my drinking recently and what you wrote, and what it made me think (and share here) really helped me. THANK YOU...
SEE...you're already helping other members! Let us help you too. Welcome aboard and I will be thinking of you. Dump those beers out and start your new life with us as support!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Griffman 
I told them I would be at their meeting recently, but backed out, thinking "if i want to get off alcohol, then i will stop without going to a talk group."
The thing you are most afraid of doing is usually the thing you should be doing. When you find stopping on your own too difficult, I hope you'll reconsider face-to-face support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Griffman
I was a self reliant 'do things on my own' type of person too... I am really glad I let that go because it was keeping me drinking and perpetuating those feelings of shame and guilt.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.
Joining the class of September would be a good place to start, maybe talk to your doctor, go to AA. I used a method called AVRT which really helped me early on. Hang around here and I'm sure you'll find the right support for you.
Oh, and try not to tackle everything at once, it took me some months before I started to forgive myself for wasting my past. Sobriety is a process rather than an event and some parts of it do take time. Take it easy on yourself x
I was a self reliant 'do things on my own' type of person too... I am really glad I let that go because it was keeping me drinking and perpetuating those feelings of shame and guilt.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.
Joining the class of September would be a good place to start, maybe talk to your doctor, go to AA. I used a method called AVRT which really helped me early on. Hang around here and I'm sure you'll find the right support for you.
Oh, and try not to tackle everything at once, it took me some months before I started to forgive myself for wasting my past. Sobriety is a process rather than an event and some parts of it do take time. Take it easy on yourself x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
The voice in your head that talks you out of the things that will further your recovery and help you stay sober is the same voice that will tell you that you don't have a problem, or that you can control your drinking. That's your addiction talking to you.
The thing you are most afraid of doing is usually the thing you should be doing. When you find stopping on your own too difficult, I hope you'll reconsider face-to-face support.
The thing you are most afraid of doing is usually the thing you should be doing. When you find stopping on your own too difficult, I hope you'll reconsider face-to-face support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by hypochondriac
Welcome to SR Griffman
I was a self reliant 'do things on my own' type of person too... I am really glad I let that go because it was keeping me drinking and perpetuating those feelings of shame and guilt.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.
Joining the class of September would be a good place to start, maybe talk to your doctor, go to AA. I used a method called AVRT which really helped me early on. Hang around here and I'm sure you'll find the right support for you.
Oh, and try not to tackle everything at once, it took me some months before I started to forgive myself for wasting my past. Sobriety is a process rather than an event and some parts of it do take time. Take it easy on yourself x
I was a self reliant 'do things on my own' type of person too... I am really glad I let that go because it was keeping me drinking and perpetuating those feelings of shame and guilt.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is ask for help when you need it.
Joining the class of September would be a good place to start, maybe talk to your doctor, go to AA. I used a method called AVRT which really helped me early on. Hang around here and I'm sure you'll find the right support for you.
Oh, and try not to tackle everything at once, it took me some months before I started to forgive myself for wasting my past. Sobriety is a process rather than an event and some parts of it do take time. Take it easy on yourself x
instant
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
Welcome to the family. Mixed strong emotions are part of the deal. I found it distressing to contemplate life sober, I was more distressed when despite struggling I could not achieve it.
In time I found a way to surrender. Despite my predictions of a life of drudgery and stress without alcohol I have found the opposite. I now see how poisoned my emotional system and mind were. There is a way to freedom.
In time I found a way to surrender. Despite my predictions of a life of drudgery and stress without alcohol I have found the opposite. I now see how poisoned my emotional system and mind were. There is a way to freedom.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Griffman! You're no longer alone with this - we all understand.
I kept myself from getting well by dwelling on the past, & the horrible mistakes I'd made. I soon learned that if I was to salvage what was left of my life, I'd have to stop wandering around morbidly in the past. Reach out for the best life you can possibly have now - and don't spend too much time contemplating the things you can never change. Give yourself a break.
We're here to help - keep reading and posting. Congratulations on making this important decision.
I kept myself from getting well by dwelling on the past, & the horrible mistakes I'd made. I soon learned that if I was to salvage what was left of my life, I'd have to stop wandering around morbidly in the past. Reach out for the best life you can possibly have now - and don't spend too much time contemplating the things you can never change. Give yourself a break.
We're here to help - keep reading and posting. Congratulations on making this important decision.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome to SR you'll find many people here who have been in your position and are willing to share experience and advice. This place has been an invaluable source of support for me. Keep posting - it really does help.
You can be sober now if you want to. There is nothing stopping you, absolutely nothing. You are the one in control of your actions. It's time to stop thinking about the last 14 years and focus on today and on the years ahead of you. They can be sober years. There's no magic equation to stopping drinking... you just have to take alcohol out of it. It's not easy, but it's simple, and if you want it, it is 100% achievable. Believe in yourself and remember that you can come here if ever you need any support.
you'll find many people here who have been in your position and are willing to share experience and advice. This place has been an invaluable source of support for me. Keep posting - it really does help. You can be sober now if you want to. There is nothing stopping you, absolutely nothing. You are the one in control of your actions. It's time to stop thinking about the last 14 years and focus on today and on the years ahead of you. They can be sober years. There's no magic equation to stopping drinking... you just have to take alcohol out of it. It's not easy, but it's simple, and if you want it, it is 100% achievable. Believe in yourself and remember that you can come here if ever you need any support.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by PippoRossi
Welcome, Griffman! You have done the right thing by coming to these forums looking for help. Now you need to get rid of that beer because it is not doing you any favors. I have been reading and posting here almost daily since I got sober 18 days ago. You will feel so much better once you stop drinking alcohol; physically, spiritually, mentally. Glad you are here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 29
Originally Posted by DeepBreath2012
Welcome Griffman...You live in one of my favorite states!
Come join us in the class of September; we are all recently sober and it's a wonderful group of people going through similar struggles in these early days.
I can identify with everything you are saying; especially about the guilt and shame. I got something pretty helpful out of your last post, and I want to share my way of thinking about what you wrote...maybe it will help you? You talk about feeling stupid for wasting your life away and not living it to the fullest...Guess what, you can put an end to that TODAY and start living to your fullest potential. Don't waste any more time...Thank you for writing that because I'm going through a LOT of negative negative consequences from my drinking recently and what you wrote, and what it made me think (and share here) really helped me. THANK YOU...
SEE...you're already helping other members! Let us help you too. Welcome aboard and I will be thinking of you. Dump those beers out and start your new life with us as support!
Come join us in the class of September; we are all recently sober and it's a wonderful group of people going through similar struggles in these early days.
I can identify with everything you are saying; especially about the guilt and shame. I got something pretty helpful out of your last post, and I want to share my way of thinking about what you wrote...maybe it will help you? You talk about feeling stupid for wasting your life away and not living it to the fullest...Guess what, you can put an end to that TODAY and start living to your fullest potential. Don't waste any more time...Thank you for writing that because I'm going through a LOT of negative negative consequences from my drinking recently and what you wrote, and what it made me think (and share here) really helped me. THANK YOU...
SEE...you're already helping other members! Let us help you too. Welcome aboard and I will be thinking of you. Dump those beers out and start your new life with us as support!
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