Every emotion all at once....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 230
Every emotion all at once....
I had made a game plan to leave AH in a few months if things did not improve. Well, he forced my hand. I found out that he has been cheating on me. He moved another woman into our holiday trailer about a week after me and the three kids left. I'm so angry, but in some ways so relieved. This may have been the kick in the @ss I needed to leave. But, at the same time, I am sad and very apprehensive about what lays before me. This whole thing kind of surprised me, but I didn't feel as over come by it as I thought I would. Ahhhhh! I am in utter disbelief.
Just needed a caring place to vent.
Just needed a caring place to vent.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Ugh! Sorry you had to experience that.
I know sometimes my HP (higher power) does things for me that I am not willing to do for myself.
Sending you encouragement and support and you continue to do what is best for yourself and your children.
I know sometimes my HP (higher power) does things for me that I am not willing to do for myself.
Sending you encouragement and support and you continue to do what is best for yourself and your children.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 693
Oh confetti, that just totally sucks. I am really sorry. Can definitely see your point about it being a kick in the pants that you need, so use the energy from it to move ahead. I know how painful this is. You are not alone. Hugs.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
My husband's affair finally forced my hand too, and finally got me dealing with the family disease of addiction.
I went to meeting last night on what I call the "bandaid of denial" which I was in for some time after the affair came to light.
Be as gentle with yourself as you can, lots of changes in place I am sure....
I went to meeting last night on what I call the "bandaid of denial" which I was in for some time after the affair came to light.
Be as gentle with yourself as you can, lots of changes in place I am sure....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 317
I am going through this too. Sadly, alcoholism and affairs are almost hand in hand. I obsess at times about "her" and I realize she's nothing special. She just enables him to be unhealthy, so try not to focus on her so much as he's ill and needs help so you need to be away from him. Hurts like hell, I know...but just keep coming here, Alanon and whatever else will help you see you deserve happiness.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 230
Thank you, everyone, for all of the kind words. I so needed to hear them this morning. Especially after his new classy lady sent me a few nasty texts in the middle of the night.
Yes, pelican. I am going to try to see its that, perhaps if I view it as my HP telling me that it is time to go, it will make the transition easier.
What has shocked me is how he says that nothing happened, she just needed a place to stay.....for a month? And she needed to wear $300 worth of lingerie that I see he purchased? It is so frustrating. I love the quack thread. When i Hear these things, I now think, .... QUACK!
Yes, pelican. I am going to try to see its that, perhaps if I view it as my HP telling me that it is time to go, it will make the transition easier.
What has shocked me is how he says that nothing happened, she just needed a place to stay.....for a month? And she needed to wear $300 worth of lingerie that I see he purchased? It is so frustrating. I love the quack thread. When i Hear these things, I now think, .... QUACK!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
Originally Posted by Confetti 
Thank you, everyone, for all of the kind words. I so needed to hear them this morning. Especially after his new classy lady sent me a few nasty texts in the middle of the night.
Yes, pelican. I am going to try to see its that, perhaps if I view it as my HP telling me that it is time to go, it will make the transition easier.
What has shocked me is how he says that nothing happened, she just needed a place to stay.....for a month? And she needed to wear $300 worth of lingerie that I see he purchased? It is so frustrating. I love the quack thread. When i Hear these things, I now think, .... QUACK!
Yes, pelican. I am going to try to see its that, perhaps if I view it as my HP telling me that it is time to go, it will make the transition easier.
What has shocked me is how he says that nothing happened, she just needed a place to stay.....for a month? And she needed to wear $300 worth of lingerie that I see he purchased? It is so frustrating. I love the quack thread. When i Hear these things, I now think, .... QUACK!
I know that the affair magnified the crazy I was feeling about the alcohol....and that recovery from either the affair or alcohol helped both somehow for me. Especially Al-Anon, I was not anticipating that it would help me with affair recovery as much as it did. That detachment lesson has gone a long way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by Confetti
Thank you, everyone, for all of the kind words. I so needed to hear them this morning. Especially after his new classy lady sent me a few nasty texts in the middle of the night.
Yes, pelican. I am going to try to see its that, perhaps if I view it as my HP telling me that it is time to go, it will make the transition easier.
What has shocked me is how he says that nothing happened, she just needed a place to stay.....for a month? And she needed to wear $300 worth of lingerie that I see he purchased? It is so frustrating. I love the quack thread. When i Hear these things, I now think, .... QUACK!
Yes, pelican. I am going to try to see its that, perhaps if I view it as my HP telling me that it is time to go, it will make the transition easier.
What has shocked me is how he says that nothing happened, she just needed a place to stay.....for a month? And she needed to wear $300 worth of lingerie that I see he purchased? It is so frustrating. I love the quack thread. When i Hear these things, I now think, .... QUACK!
Don't talk to your AH about her, as far as you are concerned, she is nothing and deserves the kind of attention that you would give nothing. He is at fault, she's just a nothing skank. Keep your dignity.
And Presents For Pretty Girls
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 319
Confetti, hope you are doing better this afternoon. 
Yes, I am in a similar place today. After numerous attempts to leave axbf his lying and cheating on me a few weeks ago was what I needed.
But, I am having major emotions today. Yesterday I was so strong and felt great. I did some things for me and my life and really focused where I needed to.
Today, crying all day, thinking about him and her and trying to stop myself from getting obsessive and start looking online to see what he's up to and all that kind of jazz.
You are not alone! Know we are all here chugging right along with you
Yes, I am in a similar place today. After numerous attempts to leave axbf his lying and cheating on me a few weeks ago was what I needed.
But, I am having major emotions today. Yesterday I was so strong and felt great. I did some things for me and my life and really focused where I needed to.
Today, crying all day, thinking about him and her and trying to stop myself from getting obsessive and start looking online to see what he's up to and all that kind of jazz.
You are not alone! Know we are all here chugging right along with you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 230
I am doing ok. Really it's between fits of anger and pangs of sadness and then feeling ok about the place I'm in. I am sad, but as each day goes on I find out a little more about what a deceitful person he has turned into. I am angry with myself for marrying such a loser, although everyone assures me that the man I met and fell in love with years ago is no longer there.
I tried to block her from texting, but I can't. I can block her number from phoning,but she never calls, so that part is a non issue.
I'm off to find a lawyer who will rake him over the coals.
I tried to block her from texting, but I can't. I can block her number from phoning,but she never calls, so that part is a non issue.
I'm off to find a lawyer who will rake him over the coals.
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