ultrapped7

Hi everybody,
I've been reading your posts, and you all should be commended for your bravery and honesty. I was addicted to utram for 7 years, checked myself into a drug rehabilitation center-was detoxed over a course of 5(dreadful) days, along with group thereapy. To make a long story short, I relapsed exactly 8 weeks later, a month after that I made an apt. to go see an addiction specialist-thinking, maybe I will finally be able to get the real help I need. I told her my hystory, and she had my records from the rehab hospital-I went there and told her that I wanted to but was unable to stop ultram on my own and could she help me?
I ended up leaving her office with a prescription for ultram (2pills twice a day) and another for effexor xr. She told me that I would need constent monitoring(I see her every month!) and that if I slipped back down the slope-she would check me in to the hospital again. Apparantley ultram is partly an anti-depressant. It works on seratonin and norapenephrin-sort of like an a prozac or paxil, and has been used even as a monothereapy(no other drug, but ultram) treatment for depression in patients that do not respond to other anti-depressants-and I've been on them ALL.
Of course it also (unlike traditional anti-depressants) works on the mu opiod receptors in the brain-like any other narcotic. It's actually a synthetic morphine derivitave. Needless to say, my husband and I left her office confuse, dumbfounded, and ambivelant to say the least-after all, I was in rehab for ULTRAM ADDICTION. She made us promise that my husband would have the pill bottle at all times and he doles out my 4 pills every morning. A year ago this week I started seeing the specialist-and I have to say-I feel like I'm taking the easy way out of this, or that I'm playing russian roullete every day now-because I do want more, and that's a bad sign. So, this is my quandry. Deep down, I feel that it's a bad idea that utram is in my life at all-like I'm skating on very thin ice here. But, my life ultram free is worse.
I could really use your input-from everybody and anybody-because it seems like I learn different things from all the threads I read, even if your story is about a different drug, or whatever..we all still have the "bond" of addiction, which makes us all in the same boat. I'd really appreciate any input. I'm trying to be strong, but I don't know if I can keep tempting fate every day like this......
Take care of yourself today,
Thx!

cindaobinda

i have been on vicodin 7.5/350 for over a year 30 day supply is gone in 16 days. and no back up so this is it I HAVE TO GET OFF THIS STUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did it once before xmas day and tree says after that. then i got my next RX. well i guess there's no easy way of doing this. so i hope my family will dael with ME

daisey35

That sounds odd that your doctor would give you more Ultram once you told her you were hooked on them. Was she intent on "weaning" you down off of them? I have read that Ultram is one of those drugs that they recommend weaning from, to avoid withdrawal.
In my humble opinion, if you feel that Ultram is a problem for you; if it makes you uncomfortable to be taking it, then I agree with you that you should stop. Talk to your Dr. again and tell her you do not want the Ultram. Or find another dr. and see what they say.
Just a thought; I was just reading today about tryptophan. This is an amino acid that we get from foods (like turkey) that is converted to 5-HTP and then into serotonin in our brains. ANyway, serotonin affects out moods, sleep patterns, eating patterns; lots of stuff. I read that many people are having great success with 5-HTP supplements in treating their depression, anxiety, insomnia, pain, and weight control. The studies conducting are showing that it is equally as effective or better than current antidepressants and such, but with no side effects. If the other antidepressants and such have not worked for you, perhaps you could try the 5HTP. It's all natural, and side effect free, and non-addictive. You can get it at your local health food store. Heck, maybe Walmart carries it in their vitamin and herb section; you never know! Anyway, just a thought.

I told my Pain Management doctor that the Lortab 7.5's I'm on aren't effective anymore, that I've built a tolerance to them. He offered to up my dosage to 10's. They just don't get it, do they?

Hang in there, keep coming back!
Take care,
Daisey

daisey35

Cinda:
I relate to that--that is about where I am at with my Lortabs. It really sucks, I hate this. I am tyring to wean off.
Good luck to you, and come back!

Daisey

ultrapped7

To answer your question daisey, no, my doctor suggested that since traditional anti-depressants don't work for me, and the ultram did-she thought it would be a "disservice to me to discontinue them". Her words verbatim. Hence, She has been prescribing 4 pill/day as part of my regimem. I take klonopin at bedtime, also. But, thanks so much for the nutritional advice. I'm going to go to GNC tomorrow. I'm sending good thoughts,
Ultrapped7

FBDinNJ

What's your and your family's history of depression? Because depression and Bi-polar run throughout my family and I have also been depressed for long periods of time. When I first quit using Opiates (I believe Ultram is some type of synthetic opiate) I felt worse than ever, but eventually that went away. During this time period I was seeing a psychologist for weekly hour long sessions (This service is completely free on my College campus, so I took advantage of it), and while I felt REALLY bad for a while to the extent that I was suicidal at points, it eventually went away. Of course Opiates work as somewhat of an anti-depressent, but all they're doing is getting you high so its not a viable therapy for depression, and I don't believe it is considered as a treatment for depression by the medical community at large.

So I don't know, I didn't think I was going to ever be able to stop using H, but I have been able to do so, and now I've got about 3 months clean, and I'm no longer depressed.

ultrapped7

Actually, Ultram does have realy anti-depressant properties-other than it's opiate "feel good" effect. My doctor even showed me her physician's medication profile manual-it works on the neurotransmitters seritonin and norephenephrine-sort of like effexor. It's in all the medical journals, and everywhere online. Just look up Ultram and it's pharmacutical profile. But, I totally agree with you that if you are depressed to begin with and then start taking ultram for a while-you will for depressed than you ever have pre-ultram. To answer your question-yes, I do have a family hystory of depression/bi-polar disorder. My mother is a manic depressive, and my father was an alcoholic(a functional one-he was secretive about it, but everybody knew). I guess I was ripe for the picking when it comes the ultram-I had pain, depression, and a family history of substance abuse! Of course, I never would have taken it to begin with if the doctors would had
the knowledge that they have today about it's very addictive potential. I know it's a very unorthodox treatment-but, for now, it's better than the alternative-traditional anti-depressants-which did nothing for me and I tried them all. But, I read a great thread from tammy about a supplement that works with amino acids that looks very encouraging-supposedly, it works faster, and better than anti-depressants-without all the nasty side-effects. Thanks for your input. I'm glad you were able to be helped through therapy. It's encouraging to hear success stories from people who have been there. Take care of yourself, and stay well.

Ultrapped7

Brandydear

Hey there, I know exactly what you are going through.I have been addicted to ultram for a year now and it is living hell. I have to buy mine off the internet and if I happen to run out before a new order comes in,well,I am in hell. I take it for fibromyalgia and that kind of pain never ends and I ask myself am I addicted to the pill or addicted to not being in pain?I am not ready yet to quit but I pray that you will go to a different docter because you are not getting the help you deserve.Good luck! Brandydear

ultrapped7

Thanks Brandybear! I, too-am hoping that some higher power will guide me in the right direction, to a more solid place. You could be right, maybe a new doctor for me is in the cards......

Jon

OK...time out!

I haven't poked my head down here for awhile, and what I'm reading concerns me. First, it is vitally important that we don't "compare" prescriptions. When I was diagnosed, in 1990, as being manic-depressive, I remember asking anyone who would answer what they took. The fact is that every script works on every "body" differently.

Second, to reccomend to anyone, by way of posting, that taking the very fdrug that you are addicted to is working for you is irresponsible at best. I'm not telling you to stop, thats your business. I'm saying that if someone else does what you're doing the results could very well be disastorous.

You said your doctor was an Addiction Specialist. Is he/she credentialed as one? Does your doc belong to ASAM? Just curious.

Finally, from the makers of Tramadol (generic term for Ultram):

"Tramadol HCl has a potential to cause psychic and physical dependence of the morphone-type (mc-opioid). The drug has been associated with craving, drug-seeking behavior and tolerance development. Cases of abuse and dependence on tramadol HCl have been reported. Tramadol HCl should not be used in opioid-dependent patients. Tramadol HCl can reinitiate physical dependence in patients that have been previously dependent or chronically using other opioids. In patients with a tendency to drug abuse, a history of drug dependence, or are chronically using opioids, treatment with tramadol HCl is not recommended."

Sounds pretty clear to me...

If a drug company says it's dangerous for me to take the drug, and I do anyway, I am making a conscious decision to remain in active addiction, and to put myself in harms way.

If a car maker said a certain car was not safe, would you still buy it???

daisey35

BTW--what I read on taking 5-HTP says you should not use it with other antidepressants, because of it's action in the brain. I would think that means not to take it with the Ultram if that is the action Ultram has on your brain.
Just to be careful.
Daisey

In memory of miracle

Ultram is a serious drug,I seized on two different occasions from abusing it.As far as I am concerned it belongs in a class with the other addictive pain meds! Nasty stuff! Non-narcotic my --- !

fuster

Ultrapped7:

Check into an in-patient treatment center. When you get out, live in a clean and sober house. Make a contract with your husband that you will stay there as long as you need to be there (could be a year, maybe longer). Are you willing to do whatever it takes? If so, seriously consider your risk of relapse in the real world and why I recommend the above-referenced environment. The rest is up to you.

If you want more misery, just keep at it the way you are approaching it. I think you know what you need to do, you demonstrate plenty of knowledge and I think there is some self awareness in that brain of yours as well. You just need the courage to face what you have to do. If you want misery, you are doing the right things to perpetuate it. If you are ready for change, make it long term, not a roller coaster.

What you say in the bulk of your post actually belies your implied or actual statements that you want to stop. Part of you wants to stop but most of you appears to want to carry on the party.

Get out of your head, you are using it too much and that usually spells failure for an addict trying to kick the habit for good. A face to face with some recovering addicts would help. When was the last time you attended a 12 Step meeting? And did not sit in the back and leave early?

:sink

ultrapped7

I appreciate your very sound advice. Actually, I don't come to this forum anymore because I felt that because I'm not totally drug-free(even if it's from my doctor), I don't feel deserving of coming to a support group where the focus is staying sober. Your post was just automatically e-mailed to me.
Take care,

Ultrapped7

In memory of miracle

Of course you deserve to come here!None of us are perfect!Please continue to post and get the support we all need and deserve! Hugs and prayers to you!!! Trish.

astrolifter

I've been addicted to ultram for over 2 years now. I actually started using it to counter the withdrawals of coming off nubain, which is an injectible non-narcotic which works on opiod receptors. I quickly discovered that if I took enough of it, I would get high. My use quickly escalated to 12-14 pills a day. I then went on anti-depressants (paxil, wellbutrin) thinking it would help curb my desire for the ultram; actually it made the habit worse! My daily use went up to around 18-20 pills a day and has stayed at that level for the majority of the last couple of years. There have been times when i've ran out and the withdrawals were a living hell! Much like vicodin withdrawal only, the ultram withdrawals don't subside after 2 to 3 days, they actually get worse! I'm down to around 10 pills a day now, I have found several drugs that help facilitate and ease the withdrawal process. The best is catapres, which is a prescription blood pressure drug, it really helps take the edge off, its only side effect is that it can make you a little drowsy, but you have to be especially careful with it as it can lower blood pressure quite substancially. Another drug, believe it or not, which helps ease the withdrawals is dextromorphan, which is an OTC cough suppressant. And yet another, which helps a lot with sleep at night is zanax, but you have to be careful with it, as it can be addicting in itself.

Thank god i've gotten to the point where I feel I will finally kick this. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. The thought of what I have become makes me vomit. My renewed faith in God has helped a lot. Good luck!

jujubee

I have been addicted to Ultram for over 4 years now. I finally found a place that would take me.I just got back home last night,and I'm feeling ok.I had a habit of 15- 20 pills a day,I was also getting them off the internet.When I was taken to the hospital area of the detox center, the admitting physician was trying to tell me that the withdrawl was in my head.I told him him the drug binds to the opiate receptors in the brain and does act as an opiate.I was the first Ultram addict the hospital and detox center had ever seen.I was to a point last week that if I couldn't find help,I was going on to the freeway and walk in front of the next 18 wheeler that came along.I have a family history of depression and substance abuse,and I thought this drug was Gods' personal gift to me.If I only knew what I was getting myself into.I need to start my NA meetings today,but finding this place really helps too.I thought I was the only person who had this problem with this stuff.Well, besides my sister. We are both pill junkies,but she is the stronger of us,and can get herself weaned off of them. I'll be back later, but thank you for taking the time to read this.

hillofbeans

I too am addicted to ultram, 2 years now. I have horrible cronic pain. Like you I feel like I can not stop taking the medication all together but I can't seem to take it propperly. I have finaly decided to go ahead and have the back surgey that may cure me. I know that will not cure my addiction but if the pain is gone I hope I will be succesful in quiting the Ultram. I have tried and managed to quit for weeks at a time but the real pain always makes me go back.
Some people are addicts and still need pain thereapy. I don't feel like NA paople are very welcoming to that idea. What to do. I would love to talk with some other addicts but I feel they don't want to talk to me because I'm still using and have no plans to quit untill after my surgery.
please if there are pill abusers out there like me come forward. Maybe we can help each other out.
ANN

Heather1222

One of my drugs of choice was clonapin or zanex. I used them to come down from the coke high, and my doctor prescribed me 60 a month for my "anxiety". I finally fessed up to her and told her I am hooked on those too. After almost a month of being off them cold turkey I still have trouble sleeping at night. I too am shocked that your doctor would prescribe you something that you are addicted to. Hmmm.....And i thought I had anxiety before??? I'm a mental wreck with anxiety now.

DrFrier

Facinating, all these addicts practicing medicine, and no one has a license to do so.

The primary problem, which most of these posts have neglected to address, is the addiction. Until the addiction is stopped, there will be no recovery.

Recovery from Addiction/Alcoholism is a three pronged approach. Mental (Emotional), Physical, and Spiritual. It's covered in both the texts of Alcoholics Annonymous and Narcotics Annonymous.

Stop the addiction (taking the pills) and work the program of recovery, and presto ............ the depression clears up. What a miracle.

Please stop practicing medicine, and/or offering advice about Tryptophan. You REALLY DON'T know what you are talking about.

Good Luck,

Jim