Public Journal: Two Year Goal of Soberity.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
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Public Journal: Two Year Goal of Soberity.
Some of you may know that I have a goal of being sober for two years... for some its only two years, and for my friends it two years! lol, perspectives are interesting. 
I want to write my experiences along this journey for others to read; as well as make an experiment of myself.
I want my reader to know (as well as two years from now so I do not forget)
that I have no issue with alcohol being in my presence anywhere. I am not tempted to drink the two beers in my fridge, the five gallon bucket of homemade beer ready to be bottled, the bottle of wine I got at the restaurant the other day, the bottle of rum, and tequila sitting in the living room. I can go out for a few beers at a bar, or with dinner and I am okay with stopping no problem. I can go to parties and have a great time without alcohol as I am very social with or without alcohol.
What I do have a problem with is the mindset that I am going anywhere (or staying home with). To me partying equals getting smashed beyond self-recognition. It doesn't have to be an actual party as much as a just being with a group of friends knowing we are going to "party" (get sh*t faced). The problem for me is the mindset I go into drinking with. So what I plan to do in these two years is change the mindset of the bad habit I created: that is the experiment I am testing, and here is where I will right down my procedures.
I am going to try an alternative means of recovery and see how that works. I will do many things that are probably advised against. For example, there is a lot of music I like and drank to, I want to listen to them and make a disassociation to them from alcohol. People are probably discouraged from doing this. I also want to embrace everything that makes me want to drink so that I can rationalize them, suffer through them with a clear mind. I want to get to the point were I can disassociate partying and binge drinking; because that is the only time I ever get out of control. I understand everyone is different in their problem with alcohol, and I do not advise anyone that cannot do as I do with alcohol to attempt my self-experiment. People say we are a lot alike. We are, but we also have substantial differences because I am sure not many could do what I am doing without failing instantly; and that is okay because we all have different experiences with alcohol.
I like to push my limits. Even now I find me stopping drinking for two years as a challenge that I nor many of my close friends believe I can do. I want to prove that I can no matter how hard the struggle gets, and the struggle has been challenging thus far.
I am estimating this thread to last up until 08/26/2014, two years from my first sober date. After two years if I do begin to drink I will stop coming to soberrecovery.com as I will feel like a hypocrite then. If I stay stopped, well I guess I will be here a long time. Wish me luck in getting to my two year mark because it will be tough!!
I want to write my experiences along this journey for others to read; as well as make an experiment of myself.
I want my reader to know (as well as two years from now so I do not forget)
that I have no issue with alcohol being in my presence anywhere. I am not tempted to drink the two beers in my fridge, the five gallon bucket of homemade beer ready to be bottled, the bottle of wine I got at the restaurant the other day, the bottle of rum, and tequila sitting in the living room. I can go out for a few beers at a bar, or with dinner and I am okay with stopping no problem. I can go to parties and have a great time without alcohol as I am very social with or without alcohol.
What I do have a problem with is the mindset that I am going anywhere (or staying home with). To me partying equals getting smashed beyond self-recognition. It doesn't have to be an actual party as much as a just being with a group of friends knowing we are going to "party" (get sh*t faced). The problem for me is the mindset I go into drinking with. So what I plan to do in these two years is change the mindset of the bad habit I created: that is the experiment I am testing, and here is where I will right down my procedures.
I am going to try an alternative means of recovery and see how that works. I will do many things that are probably advised against. For example, there is a lot of music I like and drank to, I want to listen to them and make a disassociation to them from alcohol. People are probably discouraged from doing this. I also want to embrace everything that makes me want to drink so that I can rationalize them, suffer through them with a clear mind. I want to get to the point were I can disassociate partying and binge drinking; because that is the only time I ever get out of control. I understand everyone is different in their problem with alcohol, and I do not advise anyone that cannot do as I do with alcohol to attempt my self-experiment. People say we are a lot alike. We are, but we also have substantial differences because I am sure not many could do what I am doing without failing instantly; and that is okay because we all have different experiences with alcohol.
I like to push my limits. Even now I find me stopping drinking for two years as a challenge that I nor many of my close friends believe I can do. I want to prove that I can no matter how hard the struggle gets, and the struggle has been challenging thus far.
I am estimating this thread to last up until 08/26/2014, two years from my first sober date. After two years if I do begin to drink I will stop coming to soberrecovery.com as I will feel like a hypocrite then. If I stay stopped, well I guess I will be here a long time.
Wish me luck in getting to my two year mark because it will be tough!!
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Sounds interesting. I was never able to do it myself, and it was not for lack of trying. Can you commit to posting once a week to keep us informed how things are going? Then if we do not hear from you we can assume that the method did not work out as planned.
If it does not work out, what is plan b? Can you commit right now to a plan b that has been implemented successfully by others.... like rational recovery or AA for example? It might be worth doing if your best shot does not work out as planned.
If it does not work out, what is plan b? Can you commit right now to a plan b that has been implemented successfully by others.... like rational recovery or AA for example? It might be worth doing if your best shot does not work out as planned.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Austin, TX from Philly, PA
Posts: 141
Just take it day by day. Hopefully, by 2 months, you'll say you never need alcohol in your life again. The thing is, we reads have been down this road as well. I have been in your shoes, every step of the way.
While AA may not be for everyone, I learned a few things about it alcoholism.
I am truly powerless against alcohol, and need help. You may not have learned that yet, as yo go through trail after trial. We did the same, and we failed. I would love to party with my old buds and get up in the morning and go about my days like nothing is wrong, but in a matter of physics, chemistry and health, that is impossible.
I wish you luck, and hope you can make those 2 years. If your girlfriend encourages you to have beer, I would say you need to tell her she needs to support you fully 100% or you will walk. That 25% can ruin your life, as you had a close run with.
Good luck bud and keep updating!
While AA may not be for everyone, I learned a few things about it alcoholism.
I am truly powerless against alcohol, and need help. You may not have learned that yet, as yo go through trail after trial. We did the same, and we failed. I would love to party with my old buds and get up in the morning and go about my days like nothing is wrong, but in a matter of physics, chemistry and health, that is impossible.
I wish you luck, and hope you can make those 2 years. If your girlfriend encourages you to have beer, I would say you need to tell her she needs to support you fully 100% or you will walk. That 25% can ruin your life, as you had a close run with.
Good luck bud and keep updating!
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Personally, I think your plan would be agonizing. I had to look for a solution for permanent sobriety. Using your plan, I would be counting days until I could drink instead of just counting the days I have been sober.
There really isn't much to be said for sober time. I have met people who have abstained from alcohol for a decade or more who aren't what I would call emotionally sober.
Is your plan to get two years under your belt in hopes you will become a social drinker? I don't think you will find much support for that here, but I do wish you well on your journey.
There really isn't much to be said for sober time. I have met people who have abstained from alcohol for a decade or more who aren't what I would call emotionally sober.
Is your plan to get two years under your belt in hopes you will become a social drinker? I don't think you will find much support for that here, but I do wish you well on your journey.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
@memphisblues: Believe it or not I am actually hoping to abstain forever, just at this moment I can't see that happening, so two years is a reachable goal. I can always go for another two years after that, lol. Something about forever seems to hard.
@loudog430: I will update when I feel struggles, and try once a week once I start school again. School is my top priority over everything. On a different note: love the name by the way, is that from Sublime? Also those drinks look bomb! I will try your concotion. Do you blend or juice them?
@awuh1: Great idea. Plan B... I will think of one and title it just that along with awuh1; because you gave me the idea.
@loudog430: I will update when I feel struggles, and try once a week once I start school again. School is my top priority over everything. On a different note: love the name by the way, is that from Sublime? Also those drinks look bomb! I will try your concotion. Do you blend or juice them?
@awuh1: Great idea. Plan B... I will think of one and title it just that along with awuh1; because you gave me the idea.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Austin, TX from Philly, PA
Posts: 141
Sublime, yes....Louie dog!
It is tough....and maybe read the post I just tossed up, because your plan sort of came to mind when I was writing it. I've been saying the same things over and over. It just has to go! (alcohol) Get away!
And those are purely juiced. Breville has great selection. Super healthy and always make me feel better, especially if you have a tender GI tract.
It is tough....and maybe read the post I just tossed up, because your plan sort of came to mind when I was writing it. I've been saying the same things over and over. It just has to go! (alcohol) Get away!
And those are purely juiced. Breville has great selection. Super healthy and always make me feel better, especially if you have a tender GI tract.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Alcoholism isn't about drinking or really about the alcohol. Alcohol (alcoholism) was my solution to living life. It was my escape. I didn't always drink to oblivion or smoke out 'till I was out of my mind completely.... Alcohol and pot and previously cocaine helped me to feel okay with me in my own skin and nothing else seemed to matter. I was able to accomplish a lot while drinking or using for many years.
You don't seem so different from many of us. I enjoy listening to music I used to party to. I can go anywhere I choose without having a need to drink or party. There are some places I choose not to go to, but that is because I now have nothing in common with some of those people (sitting around discussing beers or drugs is not fun nor is it living to me). I do hang with sober friends, play cards, sit and talk, or do other things together without drinking or drugging (movies, concerts, carnivals, dinner, etc).
Having a "back-up plan" is something I would seriously consider, so I am glad you are looking into that!
I wish you well on your journey!
Love & hugs,
You don't seem so different from many of us. I enjoy listening to music I used to party to. I can go anywhere I choose without having a need to drink or party. There are some places I choose not to go to, but that is because I now have nothing in common with some of those people (sitting around discussing beers or drugs is not fun nor is it living to me). I do hang with sober friends, play cards, sit and talk, or do other things together without drinking or drugging (movies, concerts, carnivals, dinner, etc).
Having a "back-up plan" is something I would seriously consider, so I am glad you are looking into that!
I wish you well on your journey!
Love & hugs,
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
Originally Posted by nonblondechef 
Wishing you well during and after your experiment. Curious if you will continue to perfect your art of home brewing beer during your two year abstinence challenge?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Meso, I wish you well, too.
My $.02. Alcoholism is not just about stopping drinking. It's about changing the way you think and live your life and cope with reality. I hope that you will be able to make those changes.
My $.02. Alcoholism is not just about stopping drinking. It's about changing the way you think and live your life and cope with reality. I hope that you will be able to make those changes.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
It was a great but rough weekend being sober. I went to a few places that had booze, and I wanted to have booze with certain foods I was eating. I was good, however I had a lot of cravings due to my associations of having beer with burgers, and wine with Italian food. I did get through them by taking my mind off of beer as soon as I thought of it. I went to a Greek festival in Long Beach and enjoyed the food! It was delicious and I was happy to be making sober memories. For it being a Greek festival in a church there was a lot of booze, and women dressed... well not for being in the presences of a church, but that's a different story and something I don't need to concern myself with since it is them and there church.
I would post some pictures up but I am afraid someday being in this forum will bite me in the rear. Some of you may ask why, but let me put it in a different perspective. A former porn star, I believe her name was Tara Patrick, went to read to students at an elementary school in South Los Angeles (South Central). The administrators did not know she was a former porn star, nor did the teachers. But when word got out that this thoughtful young women had been a porn star and was reading to children it seemed like the world was about to end! I thought it was a beautiful gesture on her part, because not anyone walks into any South Los Angeles school to read to the children. I have plans to someday do great things for my community like create a nonprofit, but if people one day find out about my alcohol I am afraid I will not be looked at favorable by sponsors. Former alcoholics and former porn star are not looked at so favorably by the corporate world. I digressed.
Many on this forums are thinking about me failing after I get to two years, and I am trying to focus on not failing for two years. Lets not jump ahead of ourselves as if I have successful completed two years. I still have many more days, weeks, months to get to two years. If you wish to lend me your support while I am trying to be sober today, this week, this month, I greatly appreciated.
I would post some pictures up but I am afraid someday being in this forum will bite me in the rear. Some of you may ask why, but let me put it in a different perspective. A former porn star, I believe her name was Tara Patrick, went to read to students at an elementary school in South Los Angeles (South Central). The administrators did not know she was a former porn star, nor did the teachers. But when word got out that this thoughtful young women had been a porn star and was reading to children it seemed like the world was about to end! I thought it was a beautiful gesture on her part, because not anyone walks into any South Los Angeles school to read to the children. I have plans to someday do great things for my community like create a nonprofit, but if people one day find out about my alcohol I am afraid I will not be looked at favorable by sponsors. Former alcoholics and former porn star are not looked at so favorably by the corporate world. I digressed.
Many on this forums are thinking about me failing after I get to two years, and I am trying to focus on not failing for two years. Lets not jump ahead of ourselves as if I have successful completed two years. I still have many more days, weeks, months to get to two years. If you wish to lend me your support while I am trying to be sober today, this week, this month, I greatly appreciated.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
In the good ol day's ,,,
While I lived in Colorado I worked at Boulder Brewery which became Old Chicago's and also Rock Bottom Brew.. I continued to make my own beer, than moved to San Fran and was at a famous restaurant with a VIP pass to all wineary's in Napa and Sonoma..
Life life was always chasing the drink, I didnt realize it , till I became so far gone at 39..
I wish you the best , but I found the best experiment was a daily repreive from chasing the dragon..
While I lived in Colorado I worked at Boulder Brewery which became Old Chicago's and also Rock Bottom Brew.. I continued to make my own beer, than moved to San Fran and was at a famous restaurant with a VIP pass to all wineary's in Napa and Sonoma..
Life life was always chasing the drink, I didnt realize it , till I became so far gone at 39..
I wish you the best , but I found the best experiment was a daily repreive from chasing the dragon..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
It has been great getting my self in control over alcohol! I have made a stance against drinking, and I am sticking to it! Very proud of myself. Since Monday I have not thought of having a drink once! Nor do I feel if I go out with friends that I will get a drink. I don't feel weak over alcohol at the moment as I purposely kept alcohol in my house so I have access to it if I want it, but daily I make the right choice of not drinking. It hasn't been difficult to say no, but then again I haven't put myself way out there yet. It is very true what they say: the more you say no, the easier it gets
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 221
Thanks all, but I am not in the right place
Hi everyone,
It was a great day yesterday! I finally went to get my classes at the university I will be starting in late September, and have realized how difficult it will be to switch from a semester system to a quarter system: the difference of 18 weeks to 10 weeks! I meet a few of the people I will be in class daily with and peers that are in their senior years that will be able to advise me on different courses to take. Actually, one of them did and because of him I am getting my feet wet in my major sooner rather than later! It was a long day, and I had little sleep as I am used to staying awake at all hours of the night.
I decided out of old habits to go and look for places to drink after we were done at school, and my devils where tugging at me hard! I found a good little pizza place with great music, and a decent bar. I didn't go in at first, because I wasn't ready to. If I went in I was going to buy a drink. I then reminded myself I have to do this while I am by myself, and tell myself no so when I am with peers it will be easier to say no to them as well. I then walked in and order a pizza, while I saw a large pitcher of beer going to a table (it was happy hour), and then I order a cup for lemonade. pheeww I did it! I went to sit at the bar staring at a beer that I had never seen before I inquired about the shape of the bottle. The guy placed the beer in my hand and said I could have that one since they didn't have anymore. I said no thank you I was just curious about the budda bottle. pheeww I did it again. I was playing with fire and I knew it!
As I sat at the bar I was thinking about SR. I was thinking of post of people maybe not to happy about me wanting to moderate at some point. People are not happy about me saying that it is possible. I understand, I see that this could encourage someone, and that is not the purpose of this website. My post are not fair to some of you that may be on the border line and see my post and think I want to do it also. Or some may look at my post with resentment for some reason or another. I have also read in other threads people post this isn't a forum on moderation, but complete abstinence: which is true. I also read in various places, if you have to think about it, you probably shouldn't. The past two days I have not felt as if I am posting in the right forum. I kind of get the vibe, I am not wanted in this forum, and I am usually right about my vibes.
Thus I will no longer be posting on this website, and would like to apologize to anyone I may have made feel uncomfortable with my goal of moderation some day. I do thank those have have supported me regardless, you guys are awesome. If I fail at what I want to do, I will come back as one that wants to quit forever, and not one that wants to moderate forever. I may come by once in a while to say hi to some of you, and see how life is going, and tell you how my life is going. Thanks again.
It was a great day yesterday! I finally went to get my classes at the university I will be starting in late September, and have realized how difficult it will be to switch from a semester system to a quarter system: the difference of 18 weeks to 10 weeks! I meet a few of the people I will be in class daily with and peers that are in their senior years that will be able to advise me on different courses to take. Actually, one of them did and because of him I am getting my feet wet in my major sooner rather than later! It was a long day, and I had little sleep as I am used to staying awake at all hours of the night.
I decided out of old habits to go and look for places to drink after we were done at school, and my devils where tugging at me hard! I found a good little pizza place with great music, and a decent bar. I didn't go in at first, because I wasn't ready to. If I went in I was going to buy a drink. I then reminded myself I have to do this while I am by myself, and tell myself no so when I am with peers it will be easier to say no to them as well. I then walked in and order a pizza, while I saw a large pitcher of beer going to a table (it was happy hour), and then I order a cup for lemonade. pheeww I did it! I went to sit at the bar staring at a beer that I had never seen before I inquired about the shape of the bottle. The guy placed the beer in my hand and said I could have that one since they didn't have anymore. I said no thank you I was just curious about the budda bottle. pheeww I did it again. I was playing with fire and I knew it!
As I sat at the bar I was thinking about SR. I was thinking of post of people maybe not to happy about me wanting to moderate at some point. People are not happy about me saying that it is possible. I understand, I see that this could encourage someone, and that is not the purpose of this website. My post are not fair to some of you that may be on the border line and see my post and think I want to do it also. Or some may look at my post with resentment for some reason or another. I have also read in other threads people post this isn't a forum on moderation, but complete abstinence: which is true. I also read in various places, if you have to think about it, you probably shouldn't. The past two days I have not felt as if I am posting in the right forum. I kind of get the vibe, I am not wanted in this forum, and I am usually right about my vibes.
Thus I will no longer be posting on this website, and would like to apologize to anyone I may have made feel uncomfortable with my goal of moderation some day. I do thank those have have supported me regardless, you guys are awesome. If I fail at what I want to do, I will come back as one that wants to quit forever, and not one that wants to moderate forever. I may come by once in a while to say hi to some of you, and see how life is going, and tell you how my life is going. Thanks again.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 360
I set goals too, I know they say "one day at a time" but I love to have the goals. When I feel down or depressed there is always the goal ahead to reach.
Halloween 2012 will be the longest I have been sober in somewhere around five years, the fact that it's already a holiday just makes it that much better when the day finally comes. I'll set a new goal when I reach that one, but I don't think that far ahead, for me it's one goal at a time!
Halloween 2012 will be the longest I have been sober in somewhere around five years, the fact that it's already a holiday just makes it that much better when the day finally comes. I'll set a new goal when I reach that one, but I don't think that far ahead, for me it's one goal at a time!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Good luck, brother. Seriously. The idea of someone moderating doesn't bother me at all. More power to you, ya know? I'm totally cool being a non-drinker. No desire to moderate even if I could.
What bothers me is the idea of someone setting themselves up for suffering. I think what you picked up here was not envy or annoyance; it was concern that you might be making the same naive mistake so many others have made.
You sound happy though. And that makes me happy. Fare thee well, Meso.
What bothers me is the idea of someone setting themselves up for suffering. I think what you picked up here was not envy or annoyance; it was concern that you might be making the same naive mistake so many others have made.
You sound happy though. And that makes me happy. Fare thee well, Meso.
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