Son's accident
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
Son's accident
Hi there,
My 15-year-old son was in a serious hiking accident in Vermont two weeks ago. He fell 80 feet, landing on solid rock, and spent four days in the trauma unit in a hospital in Vermont. Then we took him home to Pennsylvania. I know without a doubt that God spared my son; not a mark on his face, and only a broken elbow, compression fracture (he is wearing a brace--no surgery) and a concussion.
He must spend a month out of school. He has been so brave through all of this. I am concerned that the isolation is getting to him, though. Not one of his friends has come to see him.
Any suggestions on how to get him through this extremely difficult time? I think all my codie tendencies are struggling to return and I know I am powerless and cannot call his friends or really do anything to replace his social life. I am scared that he will stop wanting to go to meetings next. I must admit, this is terrifying to me. I am trying not to push and just be present and love him.
My 15-year-old son was in a serious hiking accident in Vermont two weeks ago. He fell 80 feet, landing on solid rock, and spent four days in the trauma unit in a hospital in Vermont. Then we took him home to Pennsylvania. I know without a doubt that God spared my son; not a mark on his face, and only a broken elbow, compression fracture (he is wearing a brace--no surgery) and a concussion.
He must spend a month out of school. He has been so brave through all of this. I am concerned that the isolation is getting to him, though. Not one of his friends has come to see him.
Any suggestions on how to get him through this extremely difficult time? I think all my codie tendencies are struggling to return and I know I am powerless and cannot call his friends or really do anything to replace his social life. I am scared that he will stop wanting to go to meetings next. I must admit, this is terrifying to me. I am trying not to push and just be present and love him.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I'm so sorry to hear of your son's accident but happy to know that he survived! It could have been so much worse.
Take it one day at a time......and lean on us when you feel the need.
gentle hugs
ke
Take it one day at a time......and lean on us when you feel the need.
gentle hugs
ke
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Has your son even let his 'friends' know what happened to him. You know
sometimes teen age boys don't want to seem vulnerable to their peers, lol
it is part of being a teenager.
If he has a sponsor, I am sure his sponsor would not mind you asking the
sponsor for the sponsor's suggestions on how you can keep you son from
going into depression, and you never know the sponsor might bring a 'meeting'
to your home, with some of your son's friends from the meeting.
Also ask his school counselor for help, ie what can you do to keep him from
falling into deep depression. There again, the counselor may have some
suggestions, or the counselor might even contact some of his 'friends' to get
over to your house and visit.
There are ways to get the word out to his friends without you personally con-
tacting them, lol
And no, I do not believe you are being 'codie' or enabling. This is just looking
out for your teenage soon who has been in an accident.
Sending healing thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Love and hugs,
sometimes teen age boys don't want to seem vulnerable to their peers, lol
it is part of being a teenager.
If he has a sponsor, I am sure his sponsor would not mind you asking the
sponsor for the sponsor's suggestions on how you can keep you son from
going into depression, and you never know the sponsor might bring a 'meeting'
to your home, with some of your son's friends from the meeting.
Also ask his school counselor for help, ie what can you do to keep him from
falling into deep depression. There again, the counselor may have some
suggestions, or the counselor might even contact some of his 'friends' to get
over to your house and visit.
There are ways to get the word out to his friends without you personally con-
tacting them, lol
And no, I do not believe you are being 'codie' or enabling. This is just looking
out for your teenage soon who has been in an accident.
Sending healing thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: In a better place
Posts: 282
Prayers of thanks that your son was not severely injured. God is always present in all that happens, so He is there in this unexpected situation. Great suggestions from laurie about getting the word out (and supportive friends in) to lesson the isolation.
You can still go to meetings, and that is always a good thing...for you, and for everyone you love.
Praying God grants you a clear head and a calm heart as you rightfully tend to your injured son.
Blessings.
You can still go to meetings, and that is always a good thing...for you, and for everyone you love.
Praying God grants you a clear head and a calm heart as you rightfully tend to your injured son.
Blessings.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
thanks for the support and the suggestions. i think i will call his sponsor and ask for suggestions. yes, his classmates know what happened. his guidance counselor suggested that perhaps they are afraid to visit because they don't know what to say. We asked him if he wanted to have a get-together and he said "maybe." But at least he took me up on my offer of a meeting tomorrow.
And yes, he is taking painkillers. Morphine. I have it locked up. I am encouraging him to take tylenol but he is still in bad pain. i told the docs about his addiction but they said there is nothing else they can give him. is this true? he is not displaying any craving behavior and often goes 7 hours without it. (i don't automatically offer it.)
And yes, he is taking painkillers. Morphine. I have it locked up. I am encouraging him to take tylenol but he is still in bad pain. i told the docs about his addiction but they said there is nothing else they can give him. is this true? he is not displaying any craving behavior and often goes 7 hours without it. (i don't automatically offer it.)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
"...yes, he is taking painkillers. Morphine. I have it locked up. I am encouraging him to take tylenol but he is still in bad pain..."
I read on here all the time folks would rather have their loved ones taking tylenol than addictive narcotics. Y'all may want to do some more research. I'm always surprised that tylenol is still on the market. My doctor would slap my silly if I took it.....there's nothing wrong with addictive narcotics for pain, as long as it's regulated......even for addicts in recovery.
(o:
NoelleR
I read on here all the time folks would rather have their loved ones taking tylenol than addictive narcotics. Y'all may want to do some more research. I'm always surprised that tylenol is still on the market. My doctor would slap my silly if I took it.....there's nothing wrong with addictive narcotics for pain, as long as it's regulated......even for addicts in recovery.
(o:
NoelleR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
Well, one day at a time, but we had a great day today. He went to a men's meeting with a guy he met from my AA group (we're rackign up the mileage on meetings!), he has his aftercare meeting tomorrow, his tutoring starts on Friday...and he told me that his "best friend" is coming over to visit this weekend. That's the best part of it for me...I know he's been lonely.
He is patient, treats me and his stepdad with respect, and is not exhibiting any signs of self-pity. I don't know if it will last or not, or what he is thinking or feeling--I've learned not to ask, he won't tell me and it pisses him off. He also doesn't seem to be developing a dependence on the morphine. I let him go overnight without it, but he was in a lot of pain this morning.
He is growing into a man, and I am growing into the mother of a man. Who would have ever thought.
Also, just wanted to say hello to the mama posse...I would offer suggestions but I really don't have much insight, I am still trying to get through day by day myself, but I am always reading...ilovemysonjj, you are a beautiful person and i get so much from your posts.
He is patient, treats me and his stepdad with respect, and is not exhibiting any signs of self-pity. I don't know if it will last or not, or what he is thinking or feeling--I've learned not to ask, he won't tell me and it pisses him off. He also doesn't seem to be developing a dependence on the morphine. I let him go overnight without it, but he was in a lot of pain this morning.
He is growing into a man, and I am growing into the mother of a man. Who would have ever thought.
Also, just wanted to say hello to the mama posse...I would offer suggestions but I really don't have much insight, I am still trying to get through day by day myself, but I am always reading...ilovemysonjj, you are a beautiful person and i get so much from your posts.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
continued prayers of healing for your son ~
and to offer the words of encouragement to you for seeking the Next Right Thing as a healthy supportive mom! Don't forget to take good care of you too!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
and to offer the words of encouragement to you for seeking the Next Right Thing as a healthy supportive mom! Don't forget to take good care of you too!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
As I read, it looks like things are better.
Happy to hear it, and hope it continues.
My 14 year old was in a car/bicycle accident in July. If you would like some ideas regarding not using the morphine, we used a pain scale method. 1-10, no narcotics if pain under a 5. He suffered a concussion with a brain bleed. After 2 weeks the doctors okayed Advil, that was the BEST!!
Massages, worked miracles, too!
As for the depression and the kids/social life. Yep, that one is a tough one.
For him, and for me. We talked about it. Didn't deny it. He did feel bad, sad, lonely.
Tried to focus, on what he had. And I just did, what I could do, with and for him.
It gets better everyday. He gets better everyday. He's expected to make a full recovery.
What was so bad, sad and lonely at the time. Has already changed. It's not who wasn't there, it was who was!
Oh and... mine did start school yesterday. Ironically, a letter from his doctor got lost in the mail, opened it today. He is not supposed to return to school, until a further evaluation is done, by another doctor. But that one, was booked out until OCTOBER !5!!!!
Just saying, you may want to get a 2nd opinion? After receiving that letter, I am!
Happy to hear it, and hope it continues.
My 14 year old was in a car/bicycle accident in July. If you would like some ideas regarding not using the morphine, we used a pain scale method. 1-10, no narcotics if pain under a 5. He suffered a concussion with a brain bleed. After 2 weeks the doctors okayed Advil, that was the BEST!!
Massages, worked miracles, too!
As for the depression and the kids/social life. Yep, that one is a tough one.
For him, and for me. We talked about it. Didn't deny it. He did feel bad, sad, lonely.
Tried to focus, on what he had. And I just did, what I could do, with and for him.
It gets better everyday. He gets better everyday. He's expected to make a full recovery.
What was so bad, sad and lonely at the time. Has already changed. It's not who wasn't there, it was who was!
Oh and... mine did start school yesterday. Ironically, a letter from his doctor got lost in the mail, opened it today. He is not supposed to return to school, until a further evaluation is done, by another doctor. But that one, was booked out until OCTOBER !5!!!!
Just saying, you may want to get a 2nd opinion? After receiving that letter, I am!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
Thank you for all your support and prayers. His friend came to see him, they went to the mall for an hour, and oh my word, i rejoiced. my sponsor is like a second mom to him--he LOVES her, and her husband. we hung out with them for a few hours on thursday, and my sponsor and i talked, while he played video games with her husband.
he had a terrible migraine yesterday and i was so scared it was a brain bleed. vomiting, crying (my son rarely cries), the worst migraine he ever had. we took him to the ER and he had a CAT scan...no bleed. it's post-concussion syndrome that exacerbated his migraines. so...no video games, and healthier food. he's on board. it's like God is playing Mom...everything that i've begged him to limit, he has to limit for migraine prevntion. i guess he'll just have to read quietly!
he has one day of morphine left, and then it's just otc painkillers. i must say i am relieved...i know it's not a bad medicine, but all the same i am glad he is almost off it. i hope his pain is tolerable and that he isn't going to need it anymore. i am watching him carefully and he doesn't seem physically or psychologically dependent on it and he is okay with going off it.
God has truly blessed us...one day at a time. don't know what the future holds for either of us but just for today, we are blessed. recovery is truly, truly a miracle to live, and to witness.
he had a terrible migraine yesterday and i was so scared it was a brain bleed. vomiting, crying (my son rarely cries), the worst migraine he ever had. we took him to the ER and he had a CAT scan...no bleed. it's post-concussion syndrome that exacerbated his migraines. so...no video games, and healthier food. he's on board. it's like God is playing Mom...everything that i've begged him to limit, he has to limit for migraine prevntion. i guess he'll just have to read quietly!
he has one day of morphine left, and then it's just otc painkillers. i must say i am relieved...i know it's not a bad medicine, but all the same i am glad he is almost off it. i hope his pain is tolerable and that he isn't going to need it anymore. i am watching him carefully and he doesn't seem physically or psychologically dependent on it and he is okay with going off it.
God has truly blessed us...one day at a time. don't know what the future holds for either of us but just for today, we are blessed. recovery is truly, truly a miracle to live, and to witness.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((ISO)) - I'm so glad to hear how well he is doing. FWIW, I'm an RA and I had to have morphine a couple times in the hospital. I had told them I was a recovering addict from the get-go, and I was on Motrin when I left. Being the A that I am, I was ticked but darned if the Motrin didn't work just fine and then I found my attitude of gratitude back
It sounds like he has a sturdy support system, and that's awesome. Oh, and I'm really glad it wasn't a brain bleed!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
It sounds like he has a sturdy support system, and that's awesome. Oh, and I'm really glad it wasn't a brain bleed!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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