dandylion

Dear hopeworks, you mentioned in one of your posts about the importance of the biology of love---as it relates to the deep grief involved in seperation from our loved ones (or, as you said, our poisonious ones...LOL).

My question is, do you know of any particularly good articles or books on the biology of this. Especially something somewhat in-depth? I have had an interest in this.

Since the pain of break-ups seems to be a frequent subject on this board, I thought I would make it a thread so that it would get more traffic. I think it is a different and important perspective that can, maybe bring some comfort to those in the awful pain.

Thanks. dandylion

owathu

I don't know if this relates. But Susan Anderson has a wonderful book out called "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing", it delves a lot into the physiological effects of the end of a relationship. It's really good.

dandylion

Hey, thanks, owathu---I will check this out! dandylion

LifeRecovery

I second this....and have not come across another book that has helped me that much on that piece of things.

Learn2Live

We started a book club on this book here on SR a while back. We called it "The Damn Bookclub." We didn't get very far though. I am also reading this book.

If you want to read about the biology of love, Google "oxytocin," to get started.

dandylion

:rotfxkoAhhhh---oxytocin. I'll follow this up! At some point I did read about the role of oxytocin in those who experience severe episodes of abuse in domestic violence. They suggest that just as oxytocin produces the effect of amnesia for the pain of childbirth, beginning at the minute after birth----the same thing begins to happen with the severe abuse episode. Supposedly, this accounts for the frustrating response of the victims to remember the event as "not that bad" as they try to recall it later. That release of oxytocin can be triggered by the severe phisiologic effects of the abuse.

I find that above theory very interesting. If true---that can explain a lot!

I will definitely google further!

OMG---"The Damn Bookclub"----LOVE that title:rotfxko

I think sharing that (a book club of some sort) is a fabulous idea--maybe it should be started up again. We could help each other so much!

dandylion

Learn2Live

Anvil had posted a great source of info on this a while back but now that post is gone

DesertEyes

Violence triggers a lot more chemicals than just oxy. All the endorphins flood the system in a second or two. Those are the ones that knock out parts of the brain in order to maximize processing in the areas that control muscles, balance and the general "fight or flight" response. That's what causes the "tunnel vision" and loss of hearing reported by survivors.

When the body depletes it's reserves of endorphins is when you get the Stockholm syndrome problems. Extended physical danger causes physical damage to the body's internal hormone system, and to the brain. That's why it can take so long to recover from family violence, concentration camps, torture, etc.

Mike
Moderator, SR

Hopeworks

Hi Dandylion,

Just saw your message and I have read several books and articles about this subject and may have some still in my bookcase at home... I am on vacation in the Keys and will be going back to my house sometime this week and will look for the names.

My girlfriend really, really struggled with this during her break up and couldn't even function for many, many weeks and she didn't even like her ex husband! It is amazing how much impact our brain chemicals and hormones affect our well being.