Just called 911
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Northeastern US
Posts: 122
Just called 911
We're on vacation.
He's drinking on meds.
I just let the ambulance take him, am staying at hotel with my dd (she is sleeping) and I feel guilty for not going.
I'm scared. He was drinking on his pills and I think he took more than he said he did. I don't know. He fell off the toilet head first into the tub and couldn't figure out how to get back on the toilet and then just laid on the floor. He wasn't making sense.
wtf?
I can't cry.
Why? Why would he do this?
I'm sure he thought he was fine. I just want to go home.
He is killing himself.
Why? Why?
He's drinking on meds.
I just let the ambulance take him, am staying at hotel with my dd (she is sleeping) and I feel guilty for not going.
I'm scared. He was drinking on his pills and I think he took more than he said he did. I don't know. He fell off the toilet head first into the tub and couldn't figure out how to get back on the toilet and then just laid on the floor. He wasn't making sense.
wtf?
I can't cry.
Why? Why would he do this?
I'm sure he thought he was fine. I just want to go home.
He is killing himself.
Why? Why?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 44
Dear BVH
I'm sorry your vacation has turned out this way. I don't think anyone knows why addicts take their drugs - I found some useful information in a book called 'Beyond the Influence' which suggested that the brain chemistry of alcoholics was fundamentally different from the rest of us - so their compulsions are almost impossible to resist through willpower alone.
I hope things improve and your future vacations are much happier and more peaceful.
Take care
SG
x
I'm sorry your vacation has turned out this way. I don't think anyone knows why addicts take their drugs - I found some useful information in a book called 'Beyond the Influence' which suggested that the brain chemistry of alcoholics was fundamentally different from the rest of us - so their compulsions are almost impossible to resist through willpower alone.
I hope things improve and your future vacations are much happier and more peaceful.
Take care
SG
x
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: california
Posts: 103
hugs....i know exactly how you feel. AH had a 24 hour seizure after he stopped drinking cold. The hospital gave him meds and he continued to drink. It was a horrible week. He had several falls and I woke up to blood on the floor one morning and another morning with blood on the side of his face. He was aloof about it. Not a big deal to him for some reason. Downplayed all of it. stupid stupid week
I feel your pain. Scariest thing having to handle this kind of stuff. I don't have any words of wisdom as AH continued to drink. he is know talking about drying out again. Not sure I believe he is ready and won't i wonder if he will drink with the pills again.
For some reason, maybe denial, AH thinks he can handle the physical part. He has no idea of the anxiety and fear his withdrawals/drinking with the meds has caused me. He won't even talk about it. it seems to me like he can't accept he can't handle his body. and maybe took the pills to quiet me in thinking he wasn't drinking.
Strange how their minds' work. maybe a recovered alcoholic can fill us in as to why they take the pills and drink?
The first time he went to the hospital the nurse asked me how many times he had done this. i was puzzled not knowing how frequently alcoholics end up there. After 3 visits I know why she asked. It is exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if I have PSTD from the experience.
i won't go to the hospital next time....waste of my time. He slept a lot anyway while I wrung my hands and felt pathetic.
Take care of yourself. Eat and rest. call a good friend. hug your child. you will be alright and he is safe for now. I will take my sweet time getting there next time.....will let it sink in a bit rather than rescuing him like i did the last 3x
I feel your pain. Scariest thing having to handle this kind of stuff. I don't have any words of wisdom as AH continued to drink. he is know talking about drying out again. Not sure I believe he is ready and won't i wonder if he will drink with the pills again.
For some reason, maybe denial, AH thinks he can handle the physical part. He has no idea of the anxiety and fear his withdrawals/drinking with the meds has caused me. He won't even talk about it. it seems to me like he can't accept he can't handle his body. and maybe took the pills to quiet me in thinking he wasn't drinking.
Strange how their minds' work. maybe a recovered alcoholic can fill us in as to why they take the pills and drink?
The first time he went to the hospital the nurse asked me how many times he had done this. i was puzzled not knowing how frequently alcoholics end up there. After 3 visits I know why she asked. It is exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if I have PSTD from the experience.
i won't go to the hospital next time....waste of my time. He slept a lot anyway while I wrung my hands and felt pathetic.
Take care of yourself. Eat and rest. call a good friend. hug your child. you will be alright and he is safe for now. I will take my sweet time getting there next time.....will let it sink in a bit rather than rescuing him like i did the last 3x
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
Somehow vacations and alcoholics always end up in disaster. So many stories, dear, like yours, among families of alcoholics.
It will seem the strangest thing ever to you, and hard, but what you are advised to do in recovery is to GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE. This would mean, while you are there on vacation --and he is in the hospital experiencing the full consequences of his addiction which he has yet to deal with--that you are to detach from the problem his drinking/drugging has created for HIM, and somehow find in yourself the determination to take your child out tomorrow and allow her to be a child on vacation. Tell yourself you are HAPPY he is in the hospital because it is a FABULOUS consequence that has knocked him right on his head. It may be the very knock that sends him into recovery. Or at least a lot closer to it.
So go out tomorrow, get some ice cream, tell dd that daddy got a headache and he'll miss the fun for while. Make him take a cab back to the hotel. Do not help him. His drinking, his consequences, his mess to clean up.
Do not punish him when he gets out. He is an alcoholic. Of course he's going to drink. And even add pills. The alcoholic brain is broken! So just tell him you hope he gets some help for his addiction and maybe next year he'll be have a better time on vacation. He missed some wonderful fun.
Then when you get back home you can hit the Al-Anon meeting and God will cover the rest.
Your child is really looking forward to tomorrow. I hope she has a beautiful day.
It will seem the strangest thing ever to you, and hard, but what you are advised to do in recovery is to GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE. This would mean, while you are there on vacation --and he is in the hospital experiencing the full consequences of his addiction which he has yet to deal with--that you are to detach from the problem his drinking/drugging has created for HIM, and somehow find in yourself the determination to take your child out tomorrow and allow her to be a child on vacation. Tell yourself you are HAPPY he is in the hospital because it is a FABULOUS consequence that has knocked him right on his head. It may be the very knock that sends him into recovery. Or at least a lot closer to it.
So go out tomorrow, get some ice cream, tell dd that daddy got a headache and he'll miss the fun for while. Make him take a cab back to the hotel. Do not help him. His drinking, his consequences, his mess to clean up.
Do not punish him when he gets out. He is an alcoholic. Of course he's going to drink. And even add pills. The alcoholic brain is broken! So just tell him you hope he gets some help for his addiction and maybe next year he'll be have a better time on vacation. He missed some wonderful fun.
Then when you get back home you can hit the Al-Anon meeting and God will cover the rest.
Your child is really looking forward to tomorrow. I hope she has a beautiful day.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Northeastern US
Posts: 122
Thank you, English Garden.
I didn't go to the hospital. I hope (foolishly, I'm sure) that this will wake him up to reality?
In any case. DD and I shall have a lovely time tomorrow. I work full time, so getting to spend multiple whole days with her is the best thing ever.
I must go to an Al-Anon meeting. I'm so nervous about it. I had a religious background and the regular aa/na meetings seem so churchy to me. Although I went to a really good one with my brother that was totally awesome. So, I guess I need to find one that fits me??
There is so much more to this whole thing than I can figure out on my own. I want to be a happy healthy lady and I just can't do all by myself.
Amber 23, I did a fair amount of hand wringing when the police were here, thank you for you kind words. And SundayGirl2012! I have often wondered what happens in the brain of the alcoholic. Thanks for the book recommendation.
I didn't go to the hospital. I hope (foolishly, I'm sure) that this will wake him up to reality?
In any case. DD and I shall have a lovely time tomorrow. I work full time, so getting to spend multiple whole days with her is the best thing ever.
I must go to an Al-Anon meeting. I'm so nervous about it. I had a religious background and the regular aa/na meetings seem so churchy to me. Although I went to a really good one with my brother that was totally awesome. So, I guess I need to find one that fits me??
There is so much more to this whole thing than I can figure out on my own. I want to be a happy healthy lady and I just can't do all by myself.
Amber 23, I did a fair amount of hand wringing when the police were here, thank you for you kind words. And SundayGirl2012! I have often wondered what happens in the brain of the alcoholic. Thanks for the book recommendation.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Active alcoholics/addicts and those new to recovery make lousy parents.
Children learn how to treat others and allow others to treat them at home.
Children usually blame themselves for not being good enough to deserve normal. Many carry these wounds and baggage into adulthood.
Children learn how to treat others and allow others to treat them at home.
Children usually blame themselves for not being good enough to deserve normal. Many carry these wounds and baggage into adulthood.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Northeastern US
Posts: 122
He claims he has no memory of all of this, that he had 3 Guinness at lunch time and that is all. His hypothesis is that he was roofied.
Quack quack.
I was going to let him find his own way home, but realized he had no clothing from the waist down. Or wallet. So I picked him up. Not at 5am when the hospital called but at noon after my dd and I had breakfast and showers and my bff picked her up to have a ladies lunch (hilarious b/c DD is 3yo)
I filled him in and then DD and I went to pool. Now to head outside to play!!!
Thank you all for your insights and kind words!
Quack quack.
I was going to let him find his own way home, but realized he had no clothing from the waist down. Or wallet. So I picked him up. Not at 5am when the hospital called but at noon after my dd and I had breakfast and showers and my bff picked her up to have a ladies lunch (hilarious b/c DD is 3yo)
I filled him in and then DD and I went to pool. Now to head outside to play!!!
Thank you all for your insights and kind words!
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Why? Why would he do this? I'm sure he thought he was fine. He is killing himself. Why? Why?
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 225
¨His hypothesis is that he was roofied.¨
What's up with that? My A said the same thing the last time we had dinner in a restaurant together and he fell later in the hotel room and hit his head. No, couldn't be because he drank too much, somebody must have slipped drugs in his drink.
Anyway, you've gotten great ESH her and I have no more to add. I hope you and DD are enjoying the rest of your vacation
What's up with that? My A said the same thing the last time we had dinner in a restaurant together and he fell later in the hotel room and hit his head. No, couldn't be because he drank too much, somebody must have slipped drugs in his drink.
Anyway, you've gotten great ESH her and I have no more to add. I hope you and DD are enjoying the rest of your vacation
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Ha!
Originally Posted by BodkinVanHorn 
His hypothesis is that he was roofied.
This reminds me of the time AW told me somebody ran her off the road, 50 yards from the street and all the way to the middle of an urban park where there was one, and only one, tree, then ran the car into the tree.
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