Mygreatdebate

Hello everyone. I made it almost 9 months with no alcohol and then bamn, a few drinks last weekend, then again on Sun. and this week what started to be a few drinks turned in to 8 hours and one half of a half gallon. Huh?

I was told it would go down like this. Yet inside, I am always doubting. Saying to God, well if I act like that, I promise to defintely quit. Well guess what Paula - you acted like that!

I have no idea how I lived this life every day for over 20 years.

So I went to a meeting today and I am going to pick myself back up. This is my first year in recovery, I just moved and need new support systems.

I'd like to have some on here too. I love hearing about your life and how you came to accept the fact that you are alcoholic. That is what I struggle with the most right now.

Thanks everyone!

Weasel1966

That's great you are here! Welcome!

You seem to have a good perspective and can do this. Try not to let this slip further. It can quickly get out of control as I am sure you already know.

Stick around.... This is the place to be and is a great tool in our efforts to remain sober.

mecanix

15 years of being unable to control my drinking once i started, blackouts, drinking by myself,

having a drink if i was ; happy, sad, depressed, elated, lonely, hungry, bored, tired, over enegetic, with company, it was dinnertime, it was wed's 1/2 way thro the week it was thurs nearly friday woo hoo , it was friday woooo , it was saturday you got to go out , it was sunday nice quite drink, monday need to relax , tuesday it was so long till the weekend may as well have a few to keep me going .

It was causing problems and i still did it some more, thats how i knew i was alcoholic ,

bestwishes, M

TTBABP

Fighting with really good friends and making a total a** of myself over the most idiotic things and then feeling like a complete fool and so ashamed and guilty when I sober up. That's one of many reason I know I am an alcoholic.

Mizzuno

Welcome! Drinking is a slippery slope for those of us that are missing the off switch. I spent a long time trying to find the " switch" to stop drinikng after 1 or 2. You are not alone. You've already proven to yourself that you can live life without alcohol. Great job on 9 months. Great job on going to meetings. Your getting a handle on it. Keep posting. I'm glad that your here.

Sapling

I guess for me crossing that line...Where instead of wanting a drink...I needed a drink...And it wasn't fun for me anymore. It was something I couldn't control on my own....Some people can't....I use AA also and have been sober 14 months now...Keep at it....It works if you put in the effort.

katan

Welcome to SR. We get it and we can relate to what you are saying. I can never be a social drinker. I can't stop thinking about alcohol - but I do know that I can not drink it.

SlimSlim

Welcome, Paula.

Nine months is an accomplishment and while you did slip, you also dusted yourself off pretty quickly. I take that as a good sign for you.

I posted a blog about my life and how I came to accept the fact that I cannot drink: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-story.html

Fully accepting the fact that one has an addiction problem, along with the inherent acceptance of never being able to again is the million dollar riddle. If someone were to come up with the key to unlock that mystery, they could make a fortune and spare so many of us from pain and wasted years.

Again, welcome and here's to your second go being successful and thus the last of the old you and the beginning of a new life.

MesoFreak

Nine months is great Paula! I am working on two days, and having a challenging time thinking about not having a taste of beer. About six years ago I also went nine years without booze, then started up slowly, but ended up drinking too much now. I am going to kick this habit once and for all. Besides this drinking I am an excellent, intelligent, and healthy person. This is my second attempt also from six years back of trying to quit; we can do this!

doggonecarl

I am not sure you have to accept being an alcoholic to quit drinking. I didn't. What I had to accept was that I wasn't a normal drinker. I was never, ever, going to be a normal drinker. Therefore, I couldn't drink. Ever.

If that means I'm an alcoholic, then okay. But as long as I don't drink I can accept it.

2granddaughters

I had to commit to AA for it to work.... not just be involved "as needed".

You know the difference between being "involved" and "committed" ?? .....


It's like a bacon & egg breakfast, the chicken is involved and the pig is committed.

All the best.

Bob R

Kza

That is a weird analogy.

Mygreatdebate

Thanks everyone. This is my 2nd post and I just enjoy being in this place. With people who understand. It helps me so much to know that I am not alone. I get so isolated and alone and then I'm down for the count. Drinking was my friend . . . or so I thought.

Dee74

Hi Paula

Like DoggoneCarl I quit first and asked questions later

I nearly died from my drinking - I was deathly scared, but I think even that fear was just a pause at the time, not a full stop...thats how powerful this addiction is.

When I got to SR I was able to bandy the word alcoholic around, I knew I had a drinking problem and that I needed to do something, but it was a few weeks of posting here before I actually accepted that I was an alcoholic, and accepted that my drinking was done.

I'm glad I did tho - my life changed immeasurably for the better from that point

welcome aboard