1983ritag

I justified it in my head as "I'm on vacation, I can loosen up."

I had been thinking recently about how I haven't lost anything, maybe I quit before really trying to see if I could moderate.

I got my answer last night, It's a no.

Drinking was not fun like I imagined. I have a way better time without alcohol.

Normally I'd beat myself up over a stupid decision like this, but it happened already, I need to accept it.

I learned so much more than I thought I would. I learned that I was right before, I can never drink again.

Obviously I need to change up my plan a bit. But right now, I feel stronger than I did before. I'll stick with my awesome drug free, alcohol free life.

I will never drink again.

I hope someone can learn from my experience.

flutter

Welcome 'back'. Glad you're ok.

Jeni26

Welcome back. Glad you're feeling full of resolve. Thanks for posting, a good reminder and warning to us all x

Sapling

Sorry to hear that....Just curious what your plan is?

Grace2

Thank you for sharing that.

Big hugs

Gx

Soberween

Thanks for sharing. You are helping others by doing so.

Notmyrealname

So, learning experience. After analysis, ends up being positive reinforcement of your choices to remain sober.

Sounds all-around good to me. Just get back on track.

I don't think this is a three-alarm situation necessitating drastic action (although I am sure someone will soon advise you to start attending meetings if you aren't already, it's inevitable on this forum nowadays). You made it a year without drinking, kind of felt the curiosity so you put your toe in the pool to test the waters, still don't care for drinking, you put your shoe back on and go on with your life.

Amnesiac

I can't get to a month anymore let alone a year. Congrats on that feat.

sissy07

You have a great attitude. I just celebrated one year sober,and I needed to hear this. You have done a very unselfish thing by admitting this....I needed this reminder. Thand you so very much.

773niki

Thanks for sharing this - I go through that mind-bending decision alot and so far, at least this time around, I haven't given in. But I definitely have in the past. I think my last time drinking felt the same way as you feel now. It wasn't fun...I hated me...and hopefully that was the last time I try it out again.

After all, the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yeah, if abiding that definition, I've been insane for nearly 2 years! But not anymore. Good luck and glad you learned a lesson!

Mizzuno

This is a good reminder. I like that you have resolve. Thank you for sharing.

onlythetruth

Painful as it was, I'm glad this experience led you to this decision.

freshstart57

I don't think you failed at sobriety, you made a choice, and you succeeded at drinking. I agree that a plan about continuing to use alcohol is missing. I hope that your new point of view will help.

Taking5

Glad you made it back. I relapsed after 2-1/2 years. A guy in one of the AA groups I frequent went back out after 13 years. Sometimes they never make it back.

Purplecatlover

Thanks for sharing. We need the reminder that it is never the right answer, no matter how long we've been sober or how good life is.
I think about how many miserable drunk nights I spent begging to be free of this addiction, how I yearned to free, to be normal, to not be controlled.

I'm glad you realized the truth before it was too late.

awuh1

Great post. I love your attitude about it. I think you can in fact be better for it by way of the lesson that abstinence does not cure alcoholism (yours or anyone’s). The danger will be that you develop the attitude that this is something that you can do periodically without much consequence (to "fit in", or whatever the rational is at the time). It’s a slippery slope.

penny74

"I will never drink again."

How can u be so sure ?

Live2Run25

You did a year once.. you can beat that next time. Thanks for coming here and telling your story.

EternalQ

Thank you for your posting. It helped me. Do you mind saying why you felt your night of drinking convinced you moderation was not an option for you? That would help.

Tute

And learned I have. Many thanks 1983. Your story just mirrors exactly the kind of situation I've been in recently, and the sort of feeling I've had after the storm had passed. We definitely get stronger, every time.