120 days later...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 164
120 days later...
I'm still sober, but it seems to be getting harder each day. I completely understand I can never drink again and I am have come to terms with that, and have even found peace with it. Unfortunately, I was also abusing drugs and have not yet come to a resolution on if I can ever use again. Drinking obviously caused many problems in my life; drunken arguments, physical abuse, emotional abuse, near DUI's and arrests. However, to be honest I have never really done any of this while using other drugs (pot). Is it reasonable to think I could still use? I'm guessing no, but right now its hard to give up EVERYTHING.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Hey. Thanks for posting. Do you have a program that you are working? Are you involved with AA, SMART or AVRT?
Hang in there. Some days are going to be good. Some days are going to be bad. I dont think picking up in any form will help your situation. IMO.
Hang in there. Some days are going to be good. Some days are going to be bad. I dont think picking up in any form will help your situation. IMO.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
In my experience the main problem wasnt the drink or the drugs or even the things I did while using them. The main problem for me, the one I had to find a solution for was my inability to comfortably live a sober life. I only found comfort in alcohol and drugs. That was my main problem. AA showed me a way to be happy and sober at the same time and I wouldnt trade it for any drug out there.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 164
"The main problem for me, the one I had to find a solution for was my inability to comfortably live a sober life. I only found comfort in alcohol and drugs"
Yeah this is it. I find myself obsessed with thinking about getting high even though I no longer fantasize about drinking. Even though its been four months, I still haven't been able to get those same happy and content feelings I get when I'm buzzed. Its been hard to cope with because my brain is telling me something is wrong. Its almost as if I can't be happy unless I'm using.
Exercising has helped, but since I tore my Achilles, I haven't been able to do much and I think this is contributing to the slight depression.
I have gone to a few AA meetings and just listened. I would say I am more of an AVRT guy, but that doesn't mean I won't get involved more with AA in the future. I'm getting a little frustrated because it doesn't seem that sobriety is as easy as AVRT indicates it should be (for me at least). Maybe I'm just one of those dry drunks...
Yeah this is it. I find myself obsessed with thinking about getting high even though I no longer fantasize about drinking. Even though its been four months, I still haven't been able to get those same happy and content feelings I get when I'm buzzed. Its been hard to cope with because my brain is telling me something is wrong. Its almost as if I can't be happy unless I'm using.
Exercising has helped, but since I tore my Achilles, I haven't been able to do much and I think this is contributing to the slight depression.
I have gone to a few AA meetings and just listened. I would say I am more of an AVRT guy, but that doesn't mean I won't get involved more with AA in the future. I'm getting a little frustrated because it doesn't seem that sobriety is as easy as AVRT indicates it should be (for me at least). Maybe I'm just one of those dry drunks...
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Originally Posted by gordano 
"The main problem for me, the one I had to find a solution for was my inability to comfortably live a sober life. I only found comfort in alcohol and drugs"
Yeah this is it. I find myself obsessed with thinking about getting high even though I no longer fantasize about drinking. Even though its been four months, I still haven't been able to get those same happy and content feelings I get when I'm buzzed. Its been hard to cope with because my brain is telling me something is wrong. Its almost as if I can't be happy unless I'm using.
Exercising has helped, but since I tore my Achilles, I haven't been able to do much and I think this is contributing to the slight depression.
I have gone to a few AA meetings and just listened. I would say I am more of an AVRT guy, but that doesn't mean I won't get involved more with AA in the future. I'm getting a little frustrated because it doesn't seem that sobriety is as easy as AVRT indicates it should be (for me at least). Maybe I'm just one of those dry drunks...
Yeah this is it. I find myself obsessed with thinking about getting high even though I no longer fantasize about drinking. Even though its been four months, I still haven't been able to get those same happy and content feelings I get when I'm buzzed. Its been hard to cope with because my brain is telling me something is wrong. Its almost as if I can't be happy unless I'm using.
Exercising has helped, but since I tore my Achilles, I haven't been able to do much and I think this is contributing to the slight depression.
I have gone to a few AA meetings and just listened. I would say I am more of an AVRT guy, but that doesn't mean I won't get involved more with AA in the future. I'm getting a little frustrated because it doesn't seem that sobriety is as easy as AVRT indicates it should be (for me at least). Maybe I'm just one of those dry drunks...
I wish you the best. You are in a tough spot, but there is a way out. Keep it up.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I like this post. Here are my reasons:
1) It reminds me of the times that i struggled when sober
2) It reminds me that sometimes we hit walls and we have to find a way over them. Just because we've removed the drugs/alcohol it doesnt mean that all is better
3) We have to learn to live life....on life's terms.....not our own
I want to thank you for these reminders.
Also, I do think that not getting in any physical activity is contributing to your depression. We are here for you.
1) It reminds me of the times that i struggled when sober
2) It reminds me that sometimes we hit walls and we have to find a way over them. Just because we've removed the drugs/alcohol it doesnt mean that all is better
3) We have to learn to live life....on life's terms.....not our own
I want to thank you for these reminders.
Also, I do think that not getting in any physical activity is contributing to your depression. We are here for you.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Originally Posted by gordano
Is it reasonable to think I could still use? I'm guessing no, but right now its hard to give up EVERYTHING.
You are WINNING!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
insane thinking..... seriously?? drugs are okay but alcohol isn't. Alcohol IS a class IV Narcotic (drug). Replacing one drug with another isn't sane or sober thinking.
Maybe find an addiction counselor or seek therapy.
Work your program and recovery. Taking the alcohol away is only part of our problem.
The steps of AA worked for me, I have no real problems today at this time. I have absolutely a zero desire to drink or drug, life is pretty awesome today. My experience.
I wish you well no matter what you choose!
Maybe find an addiction counselor or seek therapy.
Work your program and recovery. Taking the alcohol away is only part of our problem.
The steps of AA worked for me, I have no real problems today at this time. I have absolutely a zero desire to drink or drug, life is pretty awesome today. My experience.
I wish you well no matter what you choose!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
insane thinking..... seriously?? drugs are okay but alcohol isn't. Alcohol IS a class IV Narcotic (drug). Replacing one drug with another isn't sane or sober thinking.
Maybe find an addiction counselor or seek therapy.
Work your program and recovery. Taking the alcohol away is only part of our problem.
The steps of AA worked for me, I have no real problems today at this time. I have absolutely a zero desire to drink or drug, life is pretty awesome today. My experience.
I wish you well no matter what you choose!
Maybe find an addiction counselor or seek therapy.
Work your program and recovery. Taking the alcohol away is only part of our problem.
The steps of AA worked for me, I have no real problems today at this time. I have absolutely a zero desire to drink or drug, life is pretty awesome today. My experience.
I wish you well no matter what you choose!
I guess I am just struggling with the fact that I was able to smoke weed for many years before I even had a drop of alcohol. I know I have to quit all my additive behaviors (including ebay, donuts and excessive exercising).
It sucks realizing that my problems are not just related to alcohol. I thought I could quit drinking and everything would be dandy, but that's not the case. I'm starting to realize I can get an unhealthy addiction to pretty much anything. Its the addiction to drinking that made me realize how out of control I really was. Anyway, I was hoping that by month four it would get easier. Unfortunately I am only beginning to see the scope of my problems. But hey, its better than being clueless about them. Despite all of this, I am still glad I never will drink again.
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