jessieb

I argued with H in front of kids 12 & 15. The argument was bad and long - hour or more? I was drunk and thought H was antagonistic. I'm worried that the argument was too bad to recover from and kids too upset. don't know what to do and how to begin healing family. I'm so sad now... what do I do? How can I fix my family. I know I need to stop drinking and have been trying and will continue to do so - but should I just go away? I think they are better without me. I hate myself and what I am and have done. How do I fix my family - or do i? Should I go?

katrinka

I think you need help to quit drinking. If you remove alcohol from the picture there won't be any more drunken fights. Many people here on SR got the help they needed from AA. Are you getting help? Good luck and keep reading and posting.

jessieb

Thank you. I went to a Dr., but she was not good - prescribed addictive medication (ativan) and did not know of anti-alcohol drugs. I need to find another - maybe one who deals with substance abuse. Anyone have recommendations for Albany, NY area? Thanks...

Deserto

Hey Jessie,

A good way to find a local doctor or counselor in your area is to go to an AA meeting and ask there. It doesn't mean you have to commit to AA (and I'm not in it) but it's a great way to get local info on who's good for addiction treatment. You could probably also call locally if you aren't ready to go yet.

The best way to fix your family and make up for the argument is to get serious about sobriety. Everything else will fall into place after that, and you'll start to have the clarity to answer the questions you have about D -- which are questions that only you can ultimately answer.

Zebra1275

Getting and staying sober involves changing a whole bunch of behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes. I don't think you're going to find the solution in a prescription. If only it were that easy . . .

Dee74

Hi Jessie

There's no need for you to go away - just to accept that you need to work on your drinking.

Many of us have done things we regret - but whats done is done - obsessing over things we can't undo get us nowhere.

We can make sure they don't happen again tho.

My reputation was pretty bad when I stopped drinking, but relationships healed themselves when people saw for themselves I'd changed.

It wasn't overnight - but it wasn't too long either

You can come back from this... if you're prepared to make some changes so that this kind of stuff doesn't happen anymore

D

jessieb

Thanks for replying everyone. I love my kids and can't imagine a D. Will work on it - hope H will let me. Its been about 5 hours and haven't talked to him now. thank you again. I'm so embarrassed (once again). hate for my kids to have this memory of me. no way to undo it.

artsoul

I'm sure it's hard not to feel bad and want to fix it now....but take a deep breath (maybe get a good night's sleep?) and start looking at some options tomorrow if possible. Our thoughts can run away with us, imagining the worst. Sometimes it's better to step back and let others do the same (let some of the emotions pass).

This is a google result for "Addiction Doctors Albany NY" :Addiction Specialists in Albany, New York | Top 7 Best Addiction Medicine Specialists
(There may be more..... I just took the link from the first result.)

Hugs going out to you.....

jessieb

Thank you - so appreciate the search results, will look into it. Yes, I want to fix it NOW. You're probably right though and I'll tackle it tomorrow. Thanks to everyone for being here - don't know what I would have done without this support.... so alone - thank you all.

sugarbear1

Alcoholics Anonymous AA in New York Albany County -- Week at a Glance

katan

I understand the issue - I have 4 kids who have lived though it. They are have been so supportive and so proud of me making the decision to stop drinking - yesterday my son who has refused to talk to me when I have been drinking said that he was proud of me. Highest form of praise I could get from him.
My husband has been somewhat supportive..doesn't really get it..but accepts that this was and is my decision.
I used to wake up with hangovers, remorse, guilt and embarrassed. Now I wake up feeling pretty upbeat with life. I feel strong(er) and more in control.
I won't lie - I still get terrible cravings but I know they will pass.
It is not easy to get sober and to stay sober, but it is worth it.