Lara

For the last few weeks I have removed myself from H's life....not difficult after he screamed at me to 'get the hell out of his life'. Message quite clear!!! But it has been a difficult last few weeks - but thank God for SR - I have learnt so much about addiction and how to detach.
As suspected H relapsed. Probably the reason he wanted me out of his life - who knows? Now the reasons are no longer important to me. I don't want that 'type' of person in my life anymore... thought I did. Not after joining SR. But H is still someone I will always care about and always pray for his recovery.
The last few weeks have been hell for him - only know this through mutual friends. He has been on a drinking bender and I can only imagine using cocaine again - or whatever else. I have purposelly not travelled since to H's country - and where my business is based and where I have a second home... I feel distance is best at this stage until I am very much stronger. I know there is still a 'pull' - if there wasn't then I would not be concerned about what H thinks or says. The fact that I am writing this post tells me that I am not 100% over him or it... but I am almost there!!!!
The purpose of this post is I am feeling strangely hurt this morning. I thought I was doing so well. Why on earth would I take seriously what an addict says??? The reason for my hurt, is that H has been contacting me the past few weeks. When he's drunk and feeling sorry for himself. I have ignored him. But he left a very odd message a few days ago. Then he has been missing for the past few days. Off on a bender somewhere. His phone has not been reachable - and a number of his friends have contacted me to see if I have heard from him... it is concerning - as where he lives (East Africa) if you overdose or have a car crash there is no real medical help!!! Anyway, I sent him a message simply stating that I wont be part of his relapse but if he is ready to get back into rehab, we will assist with the administration part....
Anyway, he had the cheek to go off on a tangent - telling a group of mutual friends - how I am chasing him - and so in-love with him....
I don't know why - but I am furious and hurt. The last person on earth right now I would be chasing is him! He twists things around. He is not the person I knew.. it seems the drugs have changed his personality....... I suppose makes it easier to truly walk away... but he is leaving a wake of destruction and damage. I don't want to end up loathing him.... what a waste of friendship and love.

Jody675

he is just looking for a reaction from you. dont fall for it.

oooopps

Keep in mind drug addicts like to bring other people down to make themselves look better. It's always someone else's fault or actions that is the problem. Never them. When you can truly see it for what it is, you wont be so offended and hurt. I hope the distance between you and him keeps growing; geographically, emotionally, and mentally. Let the distance grow and with enough time one day you will look back at the whole thing with a lot more peace.