Not sure what I need.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: MD
Posts: 1
Not sure what I need.
Hello, I've been looking at this website for a bit, I go back and fourth between wanting to post and not because I still am not sure if I really have a problem, I guess, but I felt like it was time to write something.
I started really drinking in college, at first just at parties or on weekends with friends, but then I started drinking on weekdays, and by myself in my room. It made me feel so much less stressed and anxious, it made me forget everything I was worrying about, most of all it made me happy if only for a little bit. I made some really bad decisions while drunk that I didn’t even always remember the next day. And had several very upsetting experiences that happened as a result of drinking. A couple of my friends expressed concern that I was getting out of control, and one day last year the head of student resident life actually called my mother at home (1,000) miles away because the school was concerned I might become a liability. However my family just took it as me being a normal college student and so did I. I just kept saying to people “I’m in college, drinking this much is normal!” Well, I graduated college in May and I am still drinking every night. I can’t sleep if I’m sober. I’ve had depression since childhood and if I’m upset about anything my first thought is “I’ll just have a couple drinks and I won’t think about it.” Even if I’m not upset I feel the need for a drink. Since I graduated it is always by myself, alone. I still am not sure if I really have an alcohol problem, (my cousin was an alcoholic and I’ve seen what he went through and my experience is nothing like that) but I’m becoming concerned because I recently got a job as a teacher and will be starting at the end of this month. I don’t feel like I can spend my days working with children and helping them to be the best they can be, and then go home and get drunk. It doesn’t feel right. Plus if anyone at the school ever found out how much I drink, I don’t think they would want me at their school. I want to stop this before it escalates into a huge problem. I have never gone to work for any job drunk, but I have gone to class, play rehearsal, my brother’s choir concert etc. while drunk, and I feel like maybe work is the next step. I just don’t know what to do
I started really drinking in college, at first just at parties or on weekends with friends, but then I started drinking on weekdays, and by myself in my room. It made me feel so much less stressed and anxious, it made me forget everything I was worrying about, most of all it made me happy if only for a little bit. I made some really bad decisions while drunk that I didn’t even always remember the next day. And had several very upsetting experiences that happened as a result of drinking. A couple of my friends expressed concern that I was getting out of control, and one day last year the head of student resident life actually called my mother at home (1,000) miles away because the school was concerned I might become a liability. However my family just took it as me being a normal college student and so did I. I just kept saying to people “I’m in college, drinking this much is normal!” Well, I graduated college in May and I am still drinking every night. I can’t sleep if I’m sober. I’ve had depression since childhood and if I’m upset about anything my first thought is “I’ll just have a couple drinks and I won’t think about it.” Even if I’m not upset I feel the need for a drink. Since I graduated it is always by myself, alone. I still am not sure if I really have an alcohol problem, (my cousin was an alcoholic and I’ve seen what he went through and my experience is nothing like that) but I’m becoming concerned because I recently got a job as a teacher and will be starting at the end of this month. I don’t feel like I can spend my days working with children and helping them to be the best they can be, and then go home and get drunk. It doesn’t feel right. Plus if anyone at the school ever found out how much I drink, I don’t think they would want me at their school. I want to stop this before it escalates into a huge problem. I have never gone to work for any job drunk, but I have gone to class, play rehearsal, my brother’s choir concert etc. while drunk, and I feel like maybe work is the next step. I just don’t know what to do
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi, welcome to SR.
I'm glad you posted. I think you're really wise to take a serious look at this now, rather than wait. It sounds like you've decided life would be better if you didn't drink as much. If it's difficult for you to stop, well, then yeah, I'd say that's a problem right there...
But here's the good news—you're here, you're educating yourself, you're treating this exactly the way you should. So give yourself a pat on the back for that. You do know what to do—and you're doing it right now.
I'm glad you posted. I think you're really wise to take a serious look at this now, rather than wait. It sounds like you've decided life would be better if you didn't drink as much. If it's difficult for you to stop, well, then yeah, I'd say that's a problem right there...
But here's the good news—you're here, you're educating yourself, you're treating this exactly the way you should. So give yourself a pat on the back for that. You do know what to do—and you're doing it right now.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi littlegirlblue
I think, if you want to stop and you find you can't - and if you find, despite wanting to stop, your drinking is progressing....then there's clearly a problem, regardless of what you want to call it.
The thing that often tricks people up is we look at movies, or TV, or at other people and we think 'well, I'm not like that'...when the truth is, it doesn't really matter.
You already have quite a list of 'bad stuff' that's happened, relating to your drinking.
When you have your friends being worried and your college calling your family, I'm sorry...but I don't think that's normal littlegirlblue.
I say that not to freak you out.
I think you know, deep down, it's not normal too
I'm really glad you've made the decision for change and to join us - you'll find a lot of support here
welcome
D
I think, if you want to stop and you find you can't - and if you find, despite wanting to stop, your drinking is progressing....then there's clearly a problem, regardless of what you want to call it.
The thing that often tricks people up is we look at movies, or TV, or at other people and we think 'well, I'm not like that'...when the truth is, it doesn't really matter.
You already have quite a list of 'bad stuff' that's happened, relating to your drinking.
When you have your friends being worried and your college calling your family, I'm sorry...but I don't think that's normal littlegirlblue.
I say that not to freak you out.
I think you know, deep down, it's not normal too
I'm really glad you've made the decision for change and to join us - you'll find a lot of support here
welcome
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome!
one way to know ya have a problem is by wondering if you have a problem.
if you can have a few drinks and walk away and not think about more, then it may not be a problem. but if you find yerself drinking quite often and questioning yerself if its becoming a problem, then its prolly already a problem
i suggest ya google AA big book online and read the 1st 164 pages.
you dont have to be in the gutter before getting help or be an alcoholic( not saying you are).
one way to know ya have a problem is by wondering if you have a problem.
if you can have a few drinks and walk away and not think about more, then it may not be a problem. but if you find yerself drinking quite often and questioning yerself if its becoming a problem, then its prolly already a problem
i suggest ya google AA big book online and read the 1st 164 pages.
you dont have to be in the gutter before getting help or be an alcoholic( not saying you are).
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Littlegirlblue, I certainly hope you're not an alcoholic, so you kinda worry about the next step would be drinking before an interview or a work. So if ya do, and of course I hope you don't, it's probably time to start doing something about it. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: nj
Posts: 33
Welcome to SR Littlegirlblue!
You have come to a wonderfual place with many people here to help and encourage.
Keep reading and posting, you already know you need to make a change and this site is an excellent tool to have.
Best Wishes to You
You have come to a wonderfual place with many people here to help and encourage.
Keep reading and posting, you already know you need to make a change and this site is an excellent tool to have.
Best Wishes to You
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Posts: 332
It's a tough call to make, isn't it, littlegirlblue? One of the toughest I ever made to decide that I had a problem and needed help.
You are wise beyond your years to face up to this reality now. I've read a lot of stories about how much people have lost because they didn't have the courage to do what you did.
You should celebrate the fact that you have a choice to live a better life. Follow your instincts and connect with people here. The confusion you now have will be replaced with a great sense of clarity.
Best wishes to you in the days ahead!
You are wise beyond your years to face up to this reality now. I've read a lot of stories about how much people have lost because they didn't have the courage to do what you did.
You should celebrate the fact that you have a choice to live a better life. Follow your instincts and connect with people here. The confusion you now have will be replaced with a great sense of clarity.
Best wishes to you in the days ahead!
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
because I still am not sure if I really have a problem
Good deal you might get on this early and be able to live a happy , joyuss, and productive life.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Really glad you posted Littlegirlblue
I was in a similar position to you when I finished college 8 or 9 years ago. I carried on drinking though and it didn't turn out well. I didn't lose my job but alcohol has caused me lots of other problems. I started to hide my drinking from others because I noticed they didn't drink like me, that should have been more of a warning sign really.
It's good that you are thinking about this now. If I was you though I would maybe ignore the 'alcoholic' question (It tends to make people crazy while they continue to drink and get progressively worse!). Instead just look at your own individual relationship with alcohol and what you want to do about it. If alcohol is causing you problems you might want to think about giving it up. And if you find that difficult just get as much support as you can. Try not to compare yourself to other people though because there will always be people who are worse and better than you.
Even if you never go to work drunk, drinking will likely effect your performance at work, and teaching is a stressful job, why make things hard on yourself?
Btw, I always said that I drank so I could sleep but that was complete rubbish. I have never slept better than after I gave up drinking
Welcome to SR x
I was in a similar position to you when I finished college 8 or 9 years ago. I carried on drinking though and it didn't turn out well. I didn't lose my job but alcohol has caused me lots of other problems. I started to hide my drinking from others because I noticed they didn't drink like me, that should have been more of a warning sign really.
It's good that you are thinking about this now. If I was you though I would maybe ignore the 'alcoholic' question (It tends to make people crazy while they continue to drink and get progressively worse!). Instead just look at your own individual relationship with alcohol and what you want to do about it. If alcohol is causing you problems you might want to think about giving it up. And if you find that difficult just get as much support as you can. Try not to compare yourself to other people though because there will always be people who are worse and better than you.
Even if you never go to work drunk, drinking will likely effect your performance at work, and teaching is a stressful job, why make things hard on yourself?
Btw, I always said that I drank so I could sleep but that was complete rubbish. I have never slept better than after I gave up drinking
Welcome to SR x
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