NoFireWater

I waitress and bartend, and find myself getting really irritated with parents who insist on ordering their kids Shirley Temples so they have a "drink" too. It's making me think of things that people do to encourage the social drinking thing with their kids early on. I remember things from my childhood and think "no wonder I couldn't wait to drink".

Do other people have these same memories? Were we conditioned to become drinkers if our parents and their friends drank?

soulgypsy

My parents were never big drinkers, but I remember how much I used to like to put red Koolaid in one of the wineglasses. Not sure if I can really make a correlation though...I also used to roll tobacco cigarettes for my mom (there used to be this little cartridge thing in the 70's), but I've never smoked!

Dee74

I know me and my siblings liked drinking things like that - it wasn't about the alcohol or lack of it tho, it was about being 'grown up'.

Maybe thats a correlation if there's any ?

Personally I don't blame childhood mocktails or pretty drinks for my alcoholism tho
I didn't drink in earnest until I was 25


D

mrsbrownie

my dad was a wine merchant...and we have a bar at home....i know henessy, stolichnaya, white label, harvey walbanger at like 8 years old...my dad will have like "tupperware parties" but for wines/liquor though....but never really got into it...i can drink socially now, but not do the point of getting addicted to it.

i guess maybe at the same time we were exposed to how my dad's drinking companions behavior were when they get dead drunk that we all (in the family) totally abhor...and my mom's constant reminder that drinking is bad for the liver...made us realize that drinking is not really acceptable (in the family at least)

will the 3 C's apply here too?

spencerhead

One of my parents' favourite stories about me is how, when I was two-years-old, I got a hold of a champagne glass at a dinner party, and after a sip, started throwing knives off the table like I was the star of a circus act. At six or seven, they started taking me to really fancy four and five-star restaurants, and ordered me a 'Shirley Temple', so I could feel grown up, and comfortable with the rest of the adults. At 13 or 14, I was allowed to have a sip of wine on special occasions. At sixteen, was allowed to order an actual cocktail.

I don't blame them. They didn't make me an alcoholic. I was born one. I might as well curse them for having genes that force me to live with freckles.

NoFireWater

I think it is a thing to make kids feel like grown ups and is probably harmless in that sense. However, from what I see in the bar, it's the heavy drinkers that do this with their kids more than other parents do. I'm not blaming my parents (mom never was a big drinker, dad was) for my drinking habits, I made my own choices. I just know the stage was set early on for drinking to be a positive thing. I didn't see the ugly side of drinking, just the fun side (I realize I was very lucky in this).

IndaMiricale

Nobody made me drink and become alcoholic only me. Even though my father and both grandfather were alcoholic, and I believe in the gene. I was fully responsible for it. It sure wasnt the rootbeer and shirley temples at the bar with my dad or mom that did it.

IMO.

DoinThis

My phsycologist said our growing brain watching a lot of people drink heavily around us as kids plays a huge part in our drinking. I didn't grow up with alcies but people who drank heavily to celebrate everything or commiserate everything. This knowledge wants me to be the sober role model for my precious daughter more than anything. I'm so worried about her teenage years and beyond when she discovers booze. My biological father who I never met until I was in my 20's was an alcoholic so I definately believe genes play a part too.

NoFireWater

DoinThis, I think it's great you're thinking about your daughter's future in relation to drinking. I bet when the time comes she will make good choices because of your example. I do believe it's genes, what you observe growing up, and poor choices all combined into one scary mess so anything that can break up the package is sure to help.

jobei

For me it was sports. I grew up playing football/baseball and idolizing the professional athletes. Needless to say that anytime that I watched a game I was bombarded with suggestive advertising featuring everything a young person would want to see. This did not turn me into an alcoholic, it was merely a contributing factor to my love of alcohol. Of course it's designed that way by some "lower power".

My daughter is 6 years old and I fully intend to explain to her the risks of alcohol use and how badly her father has abused it. Hopefully that will give her some perspective as she too is bombarded by the media.

bloss

For me it was genetics, observing grown ups, media and my own poor choices...my choice to change is what I can control. Can't change my parents or the world.

NoFireWater

So true, media does play a big part in our impressions about booze. Seems like almost every other commercial during big games shows people having fun while drinking, or cool looking bottles, or something booze related. There have been some really creative ads over the years. Maybe because a lot of creative people drink lol

jobei

It's because they want to make money off of your craving for alcohol. If everyone followed their advice and "drank responsibly" their profit margins would be in the hole. Pretty simple really.