95sunsation

I was first introduced to vicoden after a 4 wheeler accident years ago. Took them for a few weeks .nbd. Then about a yr ago my back was really bothering me with pain from work and yrs of playing rough, and the doc gave me some more . I just plainly started liking them to much and when I ran out I could always get them off the street . I started taking what ever someone coul get me. A oxy hear,a perc, any painkiller.8( even zanex . April 20th of this year I said enough and quit. That's when the torture set in , boy and was it ever. I told my wife what was going on and some close family members, who had nothing but support fr me. After a good month I started getting paws really bad and had to go to the doctor because my anxiety felt like It was killing me. I explained what I had been doing and he gave me 10 1mg benzos. I took one only when I was about to lose it , and it made things easier. I ended up flushing the 6 or so of them after my 2 month off pills. Now I am in my stepping into my 4 th month and I only have a paws episode maybe once a week for about a 1/2 hr. I see things a lot clearer now, I'm laughing, noticing wildlife,enjoying my family. I will never go back to the old days ever again, the torture is never worth the short high!!!!!!! It gets better folks, it really does . I know the pill shackles will never leave me because you will sometimes think about them,but they don't have me cuffed behind my back anymore! They are just on one hand and I'm free again to do what I want. Lurking this site helped me a lot.!!!!! That's guys. I'm making it because off you's

neferkamichael

95sunsations, you are FANTASTIC.

Impurrfect

((95Sunsation)) - Welcome to SR and congratulations on your clean time!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

aeo1313

Great post- pill popper here as well- 88 days clean

CarolD

All my best as you continue to move forward.
Welcome to our recovery community...

95sunsation

I really hate getting that feeling of anxiety and the thought of what using felt like. Sucks but it doesn't last forever. I keep telling myself that and if I find something quick to get my mind off of it it eventually goes away . Is this a paws flare up and does anyone else experience this? It's not what it was at month 2 but still aggravating ! Just keep thinking its going to take time.

RobS

Happens to me occasionally too and I'm on 17 months clean. It's rare but still happens. Very mild tho and it's easy to shake it. I realized last week that I went a whole month without even thinking about pills or having any PAWS. I was amazed that I'm finally able to get through days, weeks, and now even months without thinking about them. It's pretty great and gets better the further away I get. Hang in there and you'll see the same results for sure.

95sunsation

Thanks for sharing Rob. Makes me feel alittle better. It seems to flair up somedays after work and when I'm chilling at home. I just Instantly get crazy thoughts about crap and my mind feels like its just spinning in circles. Things are better then in the beginning but I guess I'm expecting to much to fast. Bummed out .i felt insane during that first month . Today is my over 100 days off the devils. That's something good!

finaltime

Thank you for taking the time to share your story. I am going on 6 months this month also from pills and I still have random paws at times. I do not know exactly if it is paws, but at times I will have anxiety, or a bad dream of me breaking my sobreity and using again. I wake up freaked out, then realize WAIT I am clean! Just yesterday I was in ikea and got the feeling of panic like I used to get when I was running out of pills. I think this is all part of our brain healing. I am so grateful to be free from the shackles as well, I will try my very best to never have to go down that road again.

dragonfire613

13 Days here. Its great to see so many in one place that have kicked and are moving on, and healing. So few of us ever make it out. Great job guys and keep inspiring the rest of us!

95sunsation

I got in a car wreck mOnday afternoon . Rear ended by someone texting while I was sitting at a light . She was driving about 40 mph. Man my neck and back are in some pain . Last thing I needed, but went to the doc today and had the power
To tell them no pain meds. Felt amazing on the inside when I left that office knowing that months ago I would have walked out with a scrip. This is my second test since I quit. The first was someone's lunch box they had me get a soda out of and there was a scrip in side. Just looked at it for a few minutes and thought about how crappy I felt in the beginning, and all the progress I have made. Hang in there folks .

RobS

Nice work! If you can pass those tests you'll have a clear path ahead. Just keep your head up and don't look back!!!