im a failure!!!!!
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
No you aren't. You are someone with a disease. Pick up, and start over again. You REALLY have to want to do it. I want it more than anything, and it's still a struggle. So if you are just half interested, it won't work. Wishing the best for you.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently. Henry Ford
I don't think guilt and shame help us at all - better to see what tripped us up so we can adjust and succeed the next time.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 277
As you are still posting on SR, you are not a failure. Failure means giving up and stop trying. Thomas Alva Edison failed 999 times before succeeding at 1000th attempt for inventing Electric bulb. You have all the support from SR friends. Keep trying whatever might work for you, AA, Smart Recovery, Rational Recovery, SR, Counseling anything.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Jess, good for you for posting again. That takes courage.
Some folks find that meetings don't sit well with them, that the atmosphere of helplessness and powerlessness is actually a trigger for them. I know that I did, and I found it upsetting too.
Maybe you should try again and before the next meeting, talk to one of the seniors there, you know who they are, and tell them about your concerns. Maybe a different group will have an atmosphere that feels right to you.
It is possible that 12 step programs are just not going to work for you, no matter what you do. It is very very sad that no one at your meeting will tell you this. There are other ways of looking at getting sober, and they work too. In fact, they work so well that SR has a forum just for them. It is called Secular Connections, and that is where we discuss things like SMART, Lifering, SOS and AVRT.
I believe that no matter how you decide to go, which recovery idea you end up using, that you must have inside you the vow that you will never drink again. You must do whatever you can, whatever you must, to get and stay sober. If one way isn't right for you, and you know this in your heart, then get up and find something else that is right. For this part, at least, you have all the power in the world.
Keep posting, Jess, you know there is support for you. Don't give up.
Some folks find that meetings don't sit well with them, that the atmosphere of helplessness and powerlessness is actually a trigger for them. I know that I did, and I found it upsetting too.
Maybe you should try again and before the next meeting, talk to one of the seniors there, you know who they are, and tell them about your concerns. Maybe a different group will have an atmosphere that feels right to you.
It is possible that 12 step programs are just not going to work for you, no matter what you do. It is very very sad that no one at your meeting will tell you this. There are other ways of looking at getting sober, and they work too. In fact, they work so well that SR has a forum just for them. It is called Secular Connections, and that is where we discuss things like SMART, Lifering, SOS and AVRT.
I believe that no matter how you decide to go, which recovery idea you end up using, that you must have inside you the vow that you will never drink again. You must do whatever you can, whatever you must, to get and stay sober. If one way isn't right for you, and you know this in your heart, then get up and find something else that is right. For this part, at least, you have all the power in the world.
Keep posting, Jess, you know there is support for you. Don't give up.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 462
Originally Posted by jess25 
because of how i can relate to peoples stories 
xx
xxI think as soon as I accepted that I am an alcoholic, the shares that used to scare me actually inspired me as I could identify so much.
AA isn't for everyone though so xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Jess, you are not a failure. Nor are you a loser. Quitting the drink is difficult. And sometimes life just pulls the rug out from under you.
But all you can do is just pick yourself up and start again at day 1. Learn from your slip, and be kind to yourself. You can do this. The fact that you're still here shows that you want to do it. And that's the important part.
You deserve to be sober, and you will be.
But all you can do is just pick yourself up and start again at day 1. Learn from your slip, and be kind to yourself. You can do this. The fact that you're still here shows that you want to do it. And that's the important part.
You deserve to be sober, and you will be.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 453
Perhaps a more aggressive out patient or in patient treatment center can help.
Do you have a doctor you can talk to? Can you get a referral for a doctor who specializes in addiction? If not you can contact the chair of the psychiatry school at a local accredited university near your home, they may have knowledge of low to no cost substance abuse treatments available.
I figure we don't have any guarantees that we will make it back for "another chance" when we relapse. My suggestion is to take advantage of this opportunity and seek the professional wisdom of a expert. It saved my life and I have almost four years of sobriety to show for it. Perhaps it will help you.
"Recovery from addiction requires hard work, a proper attitude and learning skills to stay sober, not drinking alcohol or using other drugs.* Successful drug recovery or alcohol recovery involves changing attitudes, acquiring knowledge, and developing skills to meet the many challenges of sobriety."
-Dennis Daley, PhD motivational quote
"Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it."
Overcoming Addiction Quote by Joseph Conrad (December 1857 - August 1924)
Do you have a doctor you can talk to? Can you get a referral for a doctor who specializes in addiction? If not you can contact the chair of the psychiatry school at a local accredited university near your home, they may have knowledge of low to no cost substance abuse treatments available.
I figure we don't have any guarantees that we will make it back for "another chance" when we relapse. My suggestion is to take advantage of this opportunity and seek the professional wisdom of a expert. It saved my life and I have almost four years of sobriety to show for it. Perhaps it will help you.
"Recovery from addiction requires hard work, a proper attitude and learning skills to stay sober, not drinking alcohol or using other drugs.* Successful drug recovery or alcohol recovery involves changing attitudes, acquiring knowledge, and developing skills to meet the many challenges of sobriety."
-Dennis Daley, PhD motivational quote
"Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it."
Overcoming Addiction Quote by Joseph Conrad (December 1857 - August 1924)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: norfolk,va
Posts: 147
Jess,
I felt like you for years. All I can say is after years of going up and down I just made the decision that I was sick of being sick and tired. Not long ago I kicked myself in my own a@* and said let's get this done. I haven't felt this great in over a decade. Keep pushing Jess, you will always have a strong support network here, but please make sure you don't give up on yourself. I wish you the best.
I felt like you for years. All I can say is after years of going up and down I just made the decision that I was sick of being sick and tired. Not long ago I kicked myself in my own a@* and said let's get this done. I haven't felt this great in over a decade. Keep pushing Jess, you will always have a strong support network here, but please make sure you don't give up on yourself. I wish you the best.
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