JMariano825

I broke down and drank. I am trying to convince myself I can drink on weekends and I am not a true alcoholic....but why do I feel so guilty?

DesperadoBlond

I recently tried the same thing. You might be feeling guilty because deep down you know it doesn't work to only drink a little, for people like you and me...

I drank moderately for a few months and then at a very important social function I drank wine until I blacked out and lost a heap of friends in one slash...

I wouldn't listen to anyone who told me that was where I was headed. I think I knew I was headed for that end result...

I think people like you and me, we need to work hard on finding the reasons why we should be sober...

CaiHong

Hi Mariano,

I don't understand is your goal to just drink on the weekends or that you have had a drink and you are not enjoying it and feeling guilty?

I think the most important step to a more fulfilling sober life is to recognize that there is a problem.
CaiHong

CarolD

Perhaps you feel guilty because you know in your heart
that drinking does nothing to enhance your life?
I

Many people choose to not drink for various reasons .some
are alcoholics and others are not.

Why is drinking important to you?

IndaMiricale

Renew your effort. You may look at the guilt for what it is. It truly is a sort of reverse pride. A descent regret for what happened is good , but guilt no.

As Bill See's It.

JMariano825

I am so sorry about your black out. I have only had one but it was bad, I punched my boyfriend in the jaw a few times...fell on the streets in manhattan and had the cops come. I didn't remember this, of course. Oh and we got kicked out of a cab.

Other than that one incident, I have never had anything really bad happen when I drank. I try to convince myself that I just messed up that one time and I don't have an actual disease...I was sober all week but I have to say I craved the hell out of it.

I went to three AA meetings last week, met some nice people but I have my guard up still to being an actual alcoholic with a disease. I cannot accept that yet.

mecanix

I tried only weekends , i tried every other drink a non-alcoholic one , i tried every other day , i tried not before 6 pm , i tried not before midday, i tried 30 day moderation in january, i tried everything for about 13 years of a 23 year drinking career knowing i had a problem that was only getting progressively worse.
In the end the only thing that works for me is total abstinance, it took about 3 years for me to accept the "never" part . In the end it was such a relief .

If you're an alcoholic like me then i hope you get it quicker than i did, if you're like me i just hope you get it , there were so many times life threatning things could and did happen .
best wishes M

suki44883

Maybe because deep down, you know that it isn't going to work; you're just not ready yet to accept that?

doggonecarl

Normal drinkers don't have a problem not drinking, don't crave it, nor do they anguish about it when they do drink. They take it or leave it.

You have the final call if you are an alcoholic or not. But if you are, and you don't accept it, you will continue to wrestle with the drinking and the troubles that ensue.

JMariano825

I just don't know if I am a true blooded alcoholic. My therapist thinks I may have a problem, but she is a recovering alcoholic so I don't know if she is projecting on me.

JMariano825

I have bad anxiety, therefore I would drink. Is it anxiety or is it alcoholism? I can't figure it out.

doggonecarl

How 'bout "It takes one to know one?"

IndaMiricale

Yup

Dee74

I used to feel guilty too - because no matter how I rationalised it, I knew I was hurting myself by drinking, I knew full well how I was hurting those I loved by not being there for them, and knew how I was risking the bad consequences that seemed to happen more and more frequently every time I drank.

I'm not projecting on you, or beating you up... but I think you need to take a deep breath and face facts jm...

what happened with your BF should never happen again - once is enough... right?

Why risk even the possibility?

And remember what you said in a previous post about what your Dr said about your drinking and your meds?

I'm not surprised you feel guilty jm - I'm sorry for it cos I've been there, but... I'm not surprised.

I hope you decide soon what you are Jm...I didn't and I nearly killed myself over the years in the process of trying to find out.

D