New Drunk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
New Drunk
Hey all, new here....
I passed 24 hours clean 3am today... I feel a little foggy and unable to concentrate. Last night I was drenched in sweat. I currently have a bottle of .05mg's of Ativan to help with withdrawal. Yesterday I took one in the morn, one in the afternoon and one before bed. I'm Also taking B1, B6 and B12.
I little history -
I'm 27 I've been drinking heavily (everyday for 5 years) and was drinking at least 3 - 4 days a week from age 17 - 21 - (I took a full year off of drinking before this 5 year binder due to the type of job I had)
For the past 5 years I've not had less than 8 beers a night and usually averaged between 10 - 20 beers a night.... sometimes less if I substituted a bottle of wine. I used no other drugs on top of alcohol.
Needless to say I've made a mess of my life by age 27 I've been divorced once, had 3 DUI's 4 if one I got off of at 17 is counted. with a few other minor alcohol related offenses - thankfully no felonies and thank god I never killed anyone. I've attempted suicide seriously twice once buy taking close to 100 Tylenol PM and another by taking a cocktail of sleeping pills with two pints of Vodka and survived both without any brain damage somehow. Last attempt was over 4 years ago. I have no desire to die now. (just get my life back)
I'm financially destroyed right now from random ER visits and legal stuff and borrowed lots of money to buy boozs from anyone who would loan it to me. Luckily have a great g/f that has taken me in and is basically keeping me off the street. Somehow I've been able to stay self employed as a web developer which I think is what made it so easy for me to stay drunk.
I'm pretty scared right now that I'm going to have a grand-mal seizure and DT's. I would go to detox but instead of buying myself insurance I bought myself drinks. During the day I'm alone and at least have my g/f around in the evening and when sleeping which gives me some peace of mind.
My reason for stopping drinking is my physical and mental health. The past 6 months my short term memory has gone to hell and I started this weird thing almost like a tic where I'll randomly blurt out a random phrase that makes no sense. This happening basically was enough to convince me this way of life is not working out. No Jail or DUI scared me too much. The thought of losing my mind scares the hell out me. I was in the ER no later than 2 months ago thinking I was having a heart attack and all test came back normal including a liver panel.
I'm starting a one day a week alcohol outpatient treatment tomorrow I'm paying out of pocket for. (all I could afford after tons of research)
Any suggestions for me at this stage would he helpful.
I passed 24 hours clean 3am today... I feel a little foggy and unable to concentrate. Last night I was drenched in sweat. I currently have a bottle of .05mg's of Ativan to help with withdrawal. Yesterday I took one in the morn, one in the afternoon and one before bed. I'm Also taking B1, B6 and B12.
I little history -
I'm 27 I've been drinking heavily (everyday for 5 years) and was drinking at least 3 - 4 days a week from age 17 - 21 - (I took a full year off of drinking before this 5 year binder due to the type of job I had)
For the past 5 years I've not had less than 8 beers a night and usually averaged between 10 - 20 beers a night.... sometimes less if I substituted a bottle of wine. I used no other drugs on top of alcohol.
Needless to say I've made a mess of my life by age 27 I've been divorced once, had 3 DUI's 4 if one I got off of at 17 is counted. with a few other minor alcohol related offenses - thankfully no felonies and thank god I never killed anyone. I've attempted suicide seriously twice once buy taking close to 100 Tylenol PM and another by taking a cocktail of sleeping pills with two pints of Vodka and survived both without any brain damage somehow. Last attempt was over 4 years ago. I have no desire to die now. (just get my life back)
I'm financially destroyed right now from random ER visits and legal stuff and borrowed lots of money to buy boozs from anyone who would loan it to me. Luckily have a great g/f that has taken me in and is basically keeping me off the street. Somehow I've been able to stay self employed as a web developer which I think is what made it so easy for me to stay drunk.
I'm pretty scared right now that I'm going to have a grand-mal seizure and DT's. I would go to detox but instead of buying myself insurance I bought myself drinks. During the day I'm alone and at least have my g/f around in the evening and when sleeping which gives me some peace of mind.
My reason for stopping drinking is my physical and mental health. The past 6 months my short term memory has gone to hell and I started this weird thing almost like a tic where I'll randomly blurt out a random phrase that makes no sense. This happening basically was enough to convince me this way of life is not working out. No Jail or DUI scared me too much. The thought of losing my mind scares the hell out me. I was in the ER no later than 2 months ago thinking I was having a heart attack and all test came back normal including a liver panel.
I'm starting a one day a week alcohol outpatient treatment tomorrow I'm paying out of pocket for. (all I could afford after tons of research)
Any suggestions for me at this stage would he helpful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,191
Hey Buddy,
welcome!
After I went through treatment in an inpatient facility I joined AA. been sober ever since. Millions of people have recovered following the program laid out in AA. Sounds like you are under doctor's care with that medication? I wont give medical advice other than if you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms, detoxing with out medical aid is a dangerous job.
AA teaches us that we have a disease not a behavioral problem. As alcoholics we have what is considered an allergy to alcohol. When we drink the allergy manifests itself as a craving beyond our control and we find we have to drink more and more. Wouldn't be a problem if we didnt take the first drink triggering the craving in the first place right? The problem is that we alcoholics also have a strange mental obsession. No matter how bad things get or how firm of a resolution we make to quit, we always convince ourselves that we will be alright if we take a drink. Ever say to yourself "This time will be different" or "Im only drinking 2 or 3 this time" or "That was a terrible night. I am never drinking again" only to find yourself drunk as a skunk wondering what happened? Thats the mental obsession. We lose the power of choice in drink. Which makes us pretty hopeless.
Millions of people have found the answer to this hopelessness in AA. Check it out. Give it a try! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
welcome!
After I went through treatment in an inpatient facility I joined AA. been sober ever since. Millions of people have recovered following the program laid out in AA. Sounds like you are under doctor's care with that medication? I wont give medical advice other than if you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms, detoxing with out medical aid is a dangerous job.
AA teaches us that we have a disease not a behavioral problem. As alcoholics we have what is considered an allergy to alcohol. When we drink the allergy manifests itself as a craving beyond our control and we find we have to drink more and more. Wouldn't be a problem if we didnt take the first drink triggering the craving in the first place right? The problem is that we alcoholics also have a strange mental obsession. No matter how bad things get or how firm of a resolution we make to quit, we always convince ourselves that we will be alright if we take a drink. Ever say to yourself "This time will be different" or "Im only drinking 2 or 3 this time" or "That was a terrible night. I am never drinking again" only to find yourself drunk as a skunk wondering what happened? Thats the mental obsession. We lose the power of choice in drink. Which makes us pretty hopeless.
Millions of people have found the answer to this hopelessness in AA. Check it out. Give it a try! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,707
Hi, just want to say good luck and hang in there. You have a supportive girlfriend which is wonderful and it sounds like your head's in the right place, like you really want to quit. That is half the battle. The first few weeks are really hard but just stick with it. And you should really visit a doctor. The key is to identify what your triggers are and stay the hell away from them. I was a hermit for the first couple months. Just know that life is better without alcohol and YOU CAN DO IT. Keep posting and reading on these forums, they helped me hugely. There is lots of support here.
Welcome!
Welcome!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Welcome WAB
don't hesitate to see a Dr if you feel unwell or concerned - nothing is more important than your health
Congratulations on choosing an OP programme - I hope that will help - and I know you'll find more advice and support here
glad to have you with us
D
don't hesitate to see a Dr if you feel unwell or concerned - nothing is more important than your health
Congratulations on choosing an OP programme - I hope that will help - and I know you'll find more advice and support here
glad to have you with us
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Welcome!
I'm glad you are going to an outpatient program and congratulations on your first sober day. It sounds like you're prepared to do this, so I hope you keep reading and posting.
I'm glad you are going to an outpatient program and congratulations on your first sober day. It sounds like you're prepared to do this, so I hope you keep reading and posting.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,574
Hello WineandBeer. We all understand how hard it is to come to the conclusion we can't ever drink again. Once you get through this difficult time, you'll never have to go through it again. I know you feel old and beat up, but you are so young. Everything you wanted your life to be is still possible. Proud of you for owning up to the problem and taking action!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family! 
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. Deciding how to go about that is the second step. I'm staying sober with the help of my counselor and this site. It's worked well for me for the last two and a half years.
You're smart to quit drinking now before you waste any more of your life.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it. Deciding how to go about that is the second step. I'm staying sober with the help of my counselor and this site. It's worked well for me for the last two and a half years.You're smart to quit drinking now before you waste any more of your life.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Welcome to SR! I've done rehab twice and outpatient treatment. If i can offer you any advice it's this. Do everything they say. Everything. Right down to the letter. They may want you to go to AA a couple of nights a week. Go. Fish around until you find a couple meetings that click with you. I'm 31 so you're llike me. Perhaps a bit to old for a young person's group and probably one of the youngest in a regular group. Whatever. Jusr do whatever the outpatient therapist says. I was cocky and thought i could work my own program and that resulted in relapses. I eventually found sobriety through AA. Good people there. Nice people with lots of wisdom, experience and recovery. Go. Listen. Learn. Stay sober one day at a time. Living in the present has been a big lesson for me personally. I had to stop looking at how i was going to stay sober for the month or sometimes even the week. Remember that you have more excuses to stay sober than you have to drink. Use the boards here and remember that the panicked urges you feel to drink will pass. The guilt from a relapse sticks with you. This place is a great place to come to when you need to share that you've got a craving and you need somewhere safe to share. It's part of what we're here for. We're all in this together, fighting for our lives every day. You've got all the power! You've got the strength! Alcohol is cruel and cunning but you only have to beat that first drink. Welcome to SR. May you find the fellowship and support you need here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2
Thanks for all the kind words, this is a great outlet for me as I spend my days behind the computer working and tonight coming up to my 2nd day in a couple of hours... I'm sweating, unable to sleep, can't eat, worried, stressed and having random panic attacks tonight.... smoked almost two packs of camels today, I did take a walk around the block with my g/f and played with our kitten a little. I plan on trying to go to a morning meeting if I fall asleep by 4am.
Just sharing for any of those skimming the threads that have gotten passed this far enough to forget pain. I'm not in any position to give advice but my body sure as hell is. Think before you drink....
Just sharing for any of those skimming the threads that have gotten passed this far enough to forget pain. I'm not in any position to give advice but my body sure as hell is. Think before you drink....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Chippewa Falls, WI
Posts: 13
Welcome, I am new here too. After the countless threads I have read I have learned how wonderful this forum really is. It sounds like you have the right mindset, just remain persistent and your days will become better. As was mentioned before the first few weeks will be the hardest. Expect to relapse a time or two. The best advice I can give is to break your routines and keep busy. Never allow yourself the opportunity to drink. Surround yourself with sober people and healthy activities. Make new friends, or take friends that may have a similar problem with you in your journey. I always keep this tucked away in my mind: "As I climb this ladder of life, I will take as many people with me as I can" you will find satisfaction in doing random acts of kindness. Big or small, it all adds up. Kindness is contagious keep on the right track my friend, you are not alone!!!
keep on the right track my friend, you are not alone!!!
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Sometimes during detox, the discomfort, anxiety etc we think "this is horrible, I can't stand it, I'll do anything to make this stop.." and so we drink/use again.
Duh. That DOESN'T stop it, it prolongs it. The thing that DOES stop it, once and for all, is riding it out and staying sober. In a short time, the yuckies of detox end, and then that's it, done. For real. For good.
Keeping focused on the real solution to ending the lousy feelings of detox, riding it out and never having to go through it again.
If we think about it, drinking/using is like going through repeated mine detoxes in the course of a day. We go a few hours and then start feeling lousy, panicky, and like we need to use again. We use, and feel ok for a little bit, then it all starts up again. Why get back on that merry go round?
One real detox end the cycle for good.
Duh. That DOESN'T stop it, it prolongs it. The thing that DOES stop it, once and for all, is riding it out and staying sober. In a short time, the yuckies of detox end, and then that's it, done. For real. For good.
Keeping focused on the real solution to ending the lousy feelings of detox, riding it out and never having to go through it again.
If we think about it, drinking/using is like going through repeated mine detoxes in the course of a day. We go a few hours and then start feeling lousy, panicky, and like we need to use again. We use, and feel ok for a little bit, then it all starts up again. Why get back on that merry go round?
One real detox end the cycle for good.
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