Still Struggling with Supervised Visits
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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Still Struggling with Supervised Visits
Last weekend was the first in a long time that I didn't get to see my daughter. My aunt, the supervisor, was out of town. After seven months, I am still on supervised visits. I'm thinking this is getting rediculous. I just want to say eff it and walk away for good. When does this insanity stop?
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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Its complicated by the fact that she has a restraining order and the only way we can communicate is through Our Family Wizard. So I have to get my aunt to get and drop off my daughter. Just a huge PITA. She felt threatened even though I didn't threaten her, so she was granted the restraining order.
I do have a lawyer and our first court appearance is next week. I'm just so fed up with jumping through hoops. She says she wants me to see my daughter in one sentence but then tells me I can't see her because I didn't have any supervision in last weekend in the next. I'm afraid of doing something stupid before next week, but I am at the end of my rope as far as patience with her.
I do have a lawyer and our first court appearance is next week. I'm just so fed up with jumping through hoops. She says she wants me to see my daughter in one sentence but then tells me I can't see her because I didn't have any supervision in last weekend in the next. I'm afraid of doing something stupid before next week, but I am at the end of my rope as far as patience with her.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
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I 'worked' as a foster parent for a decade, with some high profile court cases. I'm familar with the nature and dynamics of supervised visits. It can often be a frustrating experience for the loving parent, and often the parent is the one to bear most of the responsibility for things going wrong, even though the wheels of court justice attempt to be fair, the welfare of the child is always paramount. Sadly, this can become a confusing and hurtful time for all invloved, as the court proceeds to figure things out.
Please be patient. Being at your best temperment, even when you're feeling put upon, is your best chance going forward of securing a better outcome than you had going in ie with the restraining order.
It all seems like hoops, but any court action is like that, not just child welfare cases. Lawyers exist for very real reasons, and often things just take time to work through the courts.
Forgiveness and love for yourself and your daughter, coming from you, and offered honestly and abundantly, speaks volumes, and is not missed by the courts.
Please relax, and find some supportive way to help yourself stay more relaxed through the court proceedings. Its not easy of course, but its a good way to start to feel better about what is happening, and to best avoid doing something 'stupid.'
Good on you for sharing and reaching out. I hope all that is best for you and your daughter.
Please be patient. Being at your best temperment, even when you're feeling put upon, is your best chance going forward of securing a better outcome than you had going in ie with the restraining order.
It all seems like hoops, but any court action is like that, not just child welfare cases. Lawyers exist for very real reasons, and often things just take time to work through the courts.
Forgiveness and love for yourself and your daughter, coming from you, and offered honestly and abundantly, speaks volumes, and is not missed by the courts.
Please relax, and find some supportive way to help yourself stay more relaxed through the court proceedings. Its not easy of course, but its a good way to start to feel better about what is happening, and to best avoid doing something 'stupid.'
Good on you for sharing and reaching out. I hope all that is best for you and your daughter.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by Anna 
Well, clearly the best thing you can do is to stay sober. You have a court appearance next week, so is it possible that the terms of visitation can be changed then?
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Join Date: Jan 2012
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Originally Posted by RobbyRobot
I 'worked' as a foster parent for a decade, with some high profile court cases. I'm familar with the nature and dynamics of supervised visits. It can often be a frustrating experience for the loving parent, and often the parent is the one to bear most of the responsibility for things going wrong, even though the wheels of court justice attempt to be fair, the welfare of the child is always paramount. Sadly, this can become a confusing and hurtful time for all invloved, as the court proceeds to figure things out.
Please be patient. Being at your best temperment, even when you're feeling put upon, is your best chance going forward of securing a better outcome than you had going in ie with the restraining order.
It all seems like hoops, but any court action is like that, not just child welfare cases. Lawyers exist for very real reasons, and often things just take time to work through the courts.
Forgiveness and love for yourself and your daughter, coming from you, and offered honestly and abundantly, speaks volumes, and is not missed by the courts.
Please relax, and find some supportive way to help yourself stay more relaxed through the court proceedings. Its not easy of course, but its a good way to start to feel better about what is happening, and to best avoid doing something 'stupid.'
Good on you for sharing and reaching out. I hope all that is best for you and your daughter.
Please be patient. Being at your best temperment, even when you're feeling put upon, is your best chance going forward of securing a better outcome than you had going in ie with the restraining order.
It all seems like hoops, but any court action is like that, not just child welfare cases. Lawyers exist for very real reasons, and often things just take time to work through the courts.
Forgiveness and love for yourself and your daughter, coming from you, and offered honestly and abundantly, speaks volumes, and is not missed by the courts.
Please relax, and find some supportive way to help yourself stay more relaxed through the court proceedings. Its not easy of course, but its a good way to start to feel better about what is happening, and to best avoid doing something 'stupid.'
Good on you for sharing and reaching out. I hope all that is best for you and your daughter.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 1,067
Yea man just try to take it easy... patience is really tough when it comes to this court business. I have been through a very similar situation in the last 6 months and all I can suggest is that you be the best YOU can be... since you can't control anyone else's actions. It's surely frustrating but taking drastic measures or saying "efff it" will only lead to regret and that's the wrong direction of where you want to be as a loving dad!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 82
The requirement for supervision was written into the restraining order. It has nothing to do with family court. We are just going to establish paternity next week since the paperwork came back from the capitol. We actually signed, notarized, and submitted the correct paperwork to the state so we can skip the paternity proceedings. That is all I know that will happen next week.
To be fair, my ex has been amicable. No fighting and we have been able to communicate. I had my first supervised overnight last week which went well. We were able to share our daughter over the holiday. She just offered me another overnight this weekend. I should be happy.
To be fair, my ex has been amicable. No fighting and we have been able to communicate. I had my first supervised overnight last week which went well. We were able to share our daughter over the holiday. She just offered me another overnight this weekend. I should be happy.
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