How to help when relapse happens
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Milano
Posts: 4
How to help when relapse happens
Hi, whats the best support i can give my husband After a relapse After 2 years sober, any tips?
Last edited by DeniseM; 07-07-2012 at 02:16 PM. Reason: Spell
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 5
Great link above!
I don't know about you, but the alcoholics in my life HATE any sign of worry or pity or even general concern regarding them, and especially being told what to do... Either its addressed in defense or anger or they seem to feel even worse about themselves. Almost always, when I want to be helpful it ends up not being helpful... I try to respect even the practicing alcoholics life and journey and process and treat them with dignity.
so...
I have to keep working on myself... I keep going to meetings and working the steps and asking for help when I need it from people who have something I admire, so I don't lose perspective as much. And so I can real it in faster and minimize any wreckage when I begin obsessing or losing my grip; so I can remember to try to stay in what is really my business, and in my life, and my recovery, and so I can remain truly loving and supportive and able to truly listen and be available, when I can, when its healthy for me, to those family (and other loved ones) who aren't well. And sometimes that means taking time outs, in my situation.
Tools I use everyday to help me have a better day (when I remember and need them):
Do my best, One day at a time (shorter increments may be required at times!).
When not sure what to do, do the next right thing (I can almost always figure that out).
KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Lighten up!
HALT?
Three C's: I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it.
Remember: I can drop the hot rock at any time...
"No" is a complete sentence.
I CAN change my mind.
Live and let live.
And, last but really first, Connect to and Trust in my HP -IT REALLY HELPS!
I don't know about you, but the alcoholics in my life HATE any sign of worry or pity or even general concern regarding them, and especially being told what to do... Either its addressed in defense or anger or they seem to feel even worse about themselves. Almost always, when I want to be helpful it ends up not being helpful... I try to respect even the practicing alcoholics life and journey and process and treat them with dignity.
so...
I have to keep working on myself... I keep going to meetings and working the steps and asking for help when I need it from people who have something I admire, so I don't lose perspective as much. And so I can real it in faster and minimize any wreckage when I begin obsessing or losing my grip; so I can remember to try to stay in what is really my business, and in my life, and my recovery, and so I can remain truly loving and supportive and able to truly listen and be available, when I can, when its healthy for me, to those family (and other loved ones) who aren't well. And sometimes that means taking time outs, in my situation.
Tools I use everyday to help me have a better day (when I remember and need them):
Do my best, One day at a time (shorter increments may be required at times!).
When not sure what to do, do the next right thing (I can almost always figure that out).
KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Lighten up!
HALT?
Three C's: I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it.
Remember: I can drop the hot rock at any time...
"No" is a complete sentence.
I CAN change my mind.
Live and let live.
And, last but really first, Connect to and Trust in my HP -IT REALLY HELPS!
Last edited by KeepSimple; 07-08-2012 at 11:53 AM. Reason: Forgot something...
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