FindingPeace1

Hello, lovlies!

You all came into my head and I thought I would send a virtual hug.
I am still in the park. Single, with a wonderful dog.
I am working on my spiritual growth.

I got caught in some drama with my boss last week and then realized what I was doing and settled down today. I was blessed with a short recovery time in this drama.

Otherwise, life is busy but not boring. I live in a beautiful place and appreciate life.

I still get pangs of ennui with my X. Not that I regret my actions, but I still resist that it turned out the way it did.
Generally, I feel the sad and remind myself that life is as it is and not as I wish it to be.

I finally let go of contacting him when I got these pangs. It helped he stopped responding!

I did have a wonderful month long FLING with a local guy. Wow! Was that FUN! I let myself be the bad girl. No strings. No plans. Just mutual respect and play. Now I am back to just me.

I have found much more confidence in my work and it seems my boss might leave this month. I am ready to run things without her, so I have my feet much more under me!

I love you all and wish you peace.

FP

suki44883

Sounds like you are right where you want to be, so that is great! I'm single with 2 wonderful dogs and a cat.

Good to hear from you and thanks for the update.

Helenlee

Hey You!
I'd been thinking about you recently & wondering how things were going. I was up to thinking about sending you a pm & wondering if you even still checked this board. Isn't it funny how it happens you are thinking about someone & they turn out to have been thinking about you? (or in this case ... us!)
Good to hear from you. Glad you have a wonderful dog. Wonderful dogs are a priceless blessing
Thank you for stopping by
Helen

LaTeeDa

Hey FP! Great to hear from you. You know, I've discovered that there is no "happily ever after." There's only "happily along the way." Sounds like you've got it.

L

Learn2Live

FindingPeace, so good to see you!!! Thank you for the update and it is good to hear that you are doing well and making progress! (((hugs)))

Tuffgirl

FP - sounds like a lovely adventure, thanks for sharing! You sound so...well... grounded and peaceful. Big hugs!
~T

stilllearning

FP!! It is so great to "see" you! I'm only on here every couple of months now but have wondered how you are and what's going on.

I remember your early posts (I think you were WifeofaDrinker then?) and am so thrilled to hear that life is serene for you these days. It sounds idyllic.

I got transferred (quite literally) halfway around the world for a promotion at work and am now not so far away from the rural west. What a lot of changes in the last two years - hard to believe how many.

Great to hear from you.

Hugs,

SL.

FindingPeace1

Hello, Helenlee! We WERE thinking of one another!
LTD, you are so correct. Just now and now and now.
L2L, Nice to see you are still around sharing wisdom.
Tuff, big hugs! I'll have to catch up on your story. You are doing well?
stilllearning, Yep. I started as wifeofadrinker. Are you in a great place? Are you on an adventure?

Today, I found out my boss is going to fly out to CO this week for an interview. If she gets it, she will leave Aug 1. My other coworker (my dept. has 3 permanents, 3 seasonal staff and an intern) is leaving Aug 1 as well. I have to decide whether to take my bosses job and take on more responsibility (and stress...and money), continue the hiring process for one position and start a new hiring process for the other, run the department and train the newbies! Whew! Surprisingly, I know I am going to be okay. Last year when my boss almost left, I was freaked out!! Now, with a year under my belt, I know I can do it. So, that's growth.

My boss is tough. Sometimes your best friend, sometimes ridiculously nitpicky. Her critical nature has brought out my insecurities, leading me to much self deprecation and anxiety. Just in the last week, I have started to settle down. In watching Buddhist videos about attachment, I realized I was attached to the story that she is a meanie and I am incompetent. So, I am letting it go. I can do it.

My best friend is moving to Iowa in a few weeks and I am so bereft I have been avoiding talking to her out of sadness. I finally called her and we talked. She mentioned I might be extra loss-adverse since the divorce. I think she is right. It STILL takes work to ALLOW sadness to be felt and dealt with. At least now I can work on feeling the sad and letting it pass through. When I am in active denial, I can't do that work! It is amazing how avoidance is my fall-back. It is a continual process to step up to the plate and feel the sadness.

I can't tell you how WONDERFUL it is to hear from each of you.

(((Hugs))) fp

FindingPeace1

Also, hello and hugs to all you old school thankers up there! It's nice to see all your names and remember what wonderful support you gave me through my separation and divorce.

fp

stilllearning

Aaaaaahhhh... "attached to the story that she was the meanie."

Thank you, I needed that! See, after all this time and all that distance from the alcoholics that brought us here, the wisdom and the help just keep coming.

I am on an adventure - my new job (not the paid one) is to work on my codependency in the workplace.

I'm not great at relationships (see previous 200 posts for reference, lol) and I'm a terrible driver but the one thing I do know I'm good at is my work. I've never successfully balanced work and the rest of my life and this new posting has burnout written all over it if I let it. I'm trying to draw work boundaries and I have a great mentor back home (I started out not so far from where Helenlee is) who emailed me to remind me that -I- set my work hours and take an active part in deciding when it's quitting time.

Just like the alcoholic "needed" me - work "needs" me, right?

Maybe not so much - either time.

I'm also now the point person for teams in lots of timezones, so could potentially stay "on" pretty much 24 hours a day. Then get resentful, then play the victim (see"meanies" above).

I've caught myself this time and am trying to do better and keep boundaries - will keep you posted!

Hugs, hugs and more hugs,

SL.

FindingPeace1

umm...yeah. I read that last post while sitting at my desk taking a break (at 12:42 in the morning.
Boundaries at work, hmm?

LOL! Always more work to do!