Taking care of yourself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Sarasota FL
Posts: 281
Taking care of yourself
so.........flew 1000 miles to see the dysfunctional family of origin. My real issue was to have closure with my 83 yr. old Gramma with severe dementia. Planned my trip til today but flew out a day early. The familiy is NUTS and couldnt understand why i left.(they have zero awareness of anything significant in the way of human relationships and behaviors...they all play the victim to eachother) Even my brother, who is recovery, cant comprehend the simple act of taking care of yourself vs. self comprimising duty to the dysfunctional family.I had had enough. I dont regret the trip but when your family is startiing to cause high stress/anxiety/panic- its time to go. I am proud of myself that i didnt need any klonopin to make it thru this trip- as i have an anxiety disorder.
It was important to go and important to come home. There werent any red rubby slippers tho; i had to fly in a plane.
It was important to go and important to come home. There werent any red rubby slippers tho; i had to fly in a plane.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Better than where I was
Posts: 267
It always amazes me how people live like that with no idea that it can be better. I have to be careful because for me it's a fine line being judgmental & being happy with how far I've come. After all, there's a long way to go still!
It's great that you got to get closure, it's important. And congratulations on getting out of there without being sucked into the vortex! It can be very powerful. I like to give myself a little pat on the back when I realize I'm in a situation I don't want to be in & actually DO something about it!
Ruby red slippers never worked for me, but I'm a man in my late 30's so I didn't have hi hopes! Ruby red cowboy boots? ummm.....nah!
It's great that you got to get closure, it's important. And congratulations on getting out of there without being sucked into the vortex! It can be very powerful. I like to give myself a little pat on the back when I realize I'm in a situation I don't want to be in & actually DO something about it!
Ruby red slippers never worked for me, but I'm a man in my late 30's so I didn't have hi hopes! Ruby red cowboy boots? ummm.....nah!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 456
Sometimes I think you have to leave the "system" in order to see the dysfunction. I attended a wedding a couple of years with relatives from my mom's side. Watching their co-dependency and the way they interacted with each other was almost comical (if it wasn't also sad).
I remember wondering, "Have they always been this bad?!?"
I was also extremely grateful that I was able to leave :-)
Congratulations on a successful trip and also for taking care of yourself!
db
I remember wondering, "Have they always been this bad?!?"
I was also extremely grateful that I was able to leave :-)
Congratulations on a successful trip and also for taking care of yourself!
db
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: new haven CT
Posts: 11
Good for you for being there for yourself!! there is a great natural treatment for anxiety called Rescue Remedy which is all natural and is made up fo bach flowers.. It takes things down a bit! Having had 2 family members with dementia and now have passed on, it is a very long hard road on the family. My sister died at 54 with alcohol induced dementia. It took the same path my fathers did, very horrible to watch... and creates another family dynamic. Me always the caregiver was about he only one out of 10 who stepped up to the plate! After these experiences I really dont sweat the small stuff anymore and am grateful for my health and things roll off alot easier!!
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