Could someone help me and answer my questions?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 27
Could someone help me and answer my questions?
Hi everyone, I am new to this website as a member but I have checked it out before. I am wondering if anyone can navigate me through my problem as I don't know who to turn to at this point. I will be SO very thankful to anyone that responds.
I have been doing cocaine for almost three years. Not every day, not craving when I wake up, but it is always on my mind and it is always available to me very easily. It started in college and I thought it was a phase and it has spiraled into something I am very uncomfortable with.
Lately (within the last 5 months) I only do it if I am drinking alcohol. However any time I go out to ANY type of social gathering I feel it necessary to drink alcohol. This leads to no inhibitions and poor choices, and I find myself awake at 7am high and drunk and regretting everything.
I thought I was getting better. I had a great job, established myself and was moving forward. But my partying truly effected my work performance, as much as I hate to admit it. I am across the country from my family and the only friends I have here are my best friend (who is VERY organized, straight edge, and mom-like) and my college friends and apartment friends, ALL of whom do drugs and drink with no regard for regret.
I do not drink alone. Nor do I do drugs alone. However once the idea is in my head, I cannot let go of my plan. I have gone to my doctor, told many of my friends to watch after me (including my best friend), shut myself off from social gatherings, etc etc. nothing is working.
I want to go home, to live with my parents, where I am safe, organized, and watched over 24/7. They do not know about my problem. And I don't want to leave Colorado. But after this many years I am not sure what is best, because I want to be strong enough to fight this.
My questions are:
-do i need to seek/research rehab facilities?
-do I tell my parents the situation?
-do I explain to my best friend what's going on?
-Should I fight for myself before I rely on leaving?
I know these are all personal choices, I just want input from people that have been there before. Anything helps. Thank you to ALL OF YOU, no matter who you are, for reading this. And thank you for a website that can help people.
-shadowboxer
I have been doing cocaine for almost three years. Not every day, not craving when I wake up, but it is always on my mind and it is always available to me very easily. It started in college and I thought it was a phase and it has spiraled into something I am very uncomfortable with.
Lately (within the last 5 months) I only do it if I am drinking alcohol. However any time I go out to ANY type of social gathering I feel it necessary to drink alcohol. This leads to no inhibitions and poor choices, and I find myself awake at 7am high and drunk and regretting everything.
I thought I was getting better. I had a great job, established myself and was moving forward. But my partying truly effected my work performance, as much as I hate to admit it. I am across the country from my family and the only friends I have here are my best friend (who is VERY organized, straight edge, and mom-like) and my college friends and apartment friends, ALL of whom do drugs and drink with no regard for regret.
I do not drink alone. Nor do I do drugs alone. However once the idea is in my head, I cannot let go of my plan. I have gone to my doctor, told many of my friends to watch after me (including my best friend), shut myself off from social gatherings, etc etc. nothing is working.
I want to go home, to live with my parents, where I am safe, organized, and watched over 24/7. They do not know about my problem. And I don't want to leave Colorado. But after this many years I am not sure what is best, because I want to be strong enough to fight this.
My questions are:
-do i need to seek/research rehab facilities?
-do I tell my parents the situation?
-do I explain to my best friend what's going on?
-Should I fight for myself before I rely on leaving?
I know these are all personal choices, I just want input from people that have been there before. Anything helps. Thank you to ALL OF YOU, no matter who you are, for reading this. And thank you for a website that can help people.
-shadowboxer
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Welcome to SR shadowboxer.
Sounds to me like you've identified that you have a problem and need help.
Since everything you have tried on your own, seeking some outside help sounds like a great idea to me. There are lots of options. A rehab facility, like you mentioned, an addictions counselor, or AA or NA meetings.
Since AA and NA are free, why not start with that? I'm a member of AA and love it but I also used a therapist and inpatient rehab to help. Don't let anyone tell you you MUST go to a 12-Step Program to make it .... but also, don't let any fears or preconceived notions keep you from going to a meeting (or 5) to see if you like it. You may be surprised.
Do you tell your parents/best friend -- short answer, the more honest you can people with your loved ones, the better. But I know it can be difficult. You may be surprised that they know something is "off" with you.
Sounds to me like you've identified that you have a problem and need help.
Since everything you have tried on your own, seeking some outside help sounds like a great idea to me. There are lots of options. A rehab facility, like you mentioned, an addictions counselor, or AA or NA meetings.
Since AA and NA are free, why not start with that? I'm a member of AA and love it but I also used a therapist and inpatient rehab to help. Don't let anyone tell you you MUST go to a 12-Step Program to make it .... but also, don't let any fears or preconceived notions keep you from going to a meeting (or 5) to see if you like it. You may be surprised.
Do you tell your parents/best friend -- short answer, the more honest you can people with your loved ones, the better. But I know it can be difficult. You may be surprised that they know something is "off" with you.
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
My questions are:
-do i need to seek/research rehab facilities?
-do I tell my parents the situation?
-do I explain to my best friend what's going on?
-Should I fight for myself before I rely on leaving?
Only you can answer these questions. All I can tell you is my experience. I could no longer control what I drank/used or how often I did it. I knew I had a problem and I couldn't stop on my own. I had to seek help.
-do i need to seek/research rehab facilities?
-do I tell my parents the situation?
-do I explain to my best friend what's going on?
-Should I fight for myself before I rely on leaving?
Only you can answer these questions. All I can tell you is my experience. I could no longer control what I drank/used or how often I did it. I knew I had a problem and I couldn't stop on my own. I had to seek help.
Sobriety date 12/19/2011
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 409
I told my parents exactly what I was doing. They moved me away from all my friends at the time, this was back in 1988ish, I was doing the same things that you are doing.
It was the best thing I ever did. They got me into a rehab, and then I went to a halfway house.
I thought they might be upset, but they were glad I came to them, glad I felt like I could open up to them. I was surprised at how much they really loved me.
It was the best thing I ever did. They got me into a rehab, and then I went to a halfway house.
I thought they might be upset, but they were glad I came to them, glad I felt like I could open up to them. I was surprised at how much they really loved me.
Member of SMART Recovery
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
shadowboxer:
I am not someone who thinks there are clear-cut answers about recovery from addiction that work for everyone. But I will say, and I think others would agree, that addiction tends to thrive in secrecy and feeds on shame. Therefore, most of us do seem to find that sharing our situations with loved ones (parents, best friends (not drinking buddies)) is very helpful. It is NOT bad to ask for help.
As far as rehab, and whether or not you need to go home...those sorts of decisions are really yours to make, perhaps coupled with help from your loved ones. If you take a little poll around here, you'll find that some of us have done rehab, others not, and experiences vary.
In terms of programs, too, we vary. I personally favor SMART Recovery, which is based on scientific principles; others prefer spiritually based programs and still others use no program at all and/or rely on SR support.
Eventually you will find your way too. The important thing is to know that recovery is possible.
I am not someone who thinks there are clear-cut answers about recovery from addiction that work for everyone. But I will say, and I think others would agree, that addiction tends to thrive in secrecy and feeds on shame. Therefore, most of us do seem to find that sharing our situations with loved ones (parents, best friends (not drinking buddies)) is very helpful. It is NOT bad to ask for help.
As far as rehab, and whether or not you need to go home...those sorts of decisions are really yours to make, perhaps coupled with help from your loved ones. If you take a little poll around here, you'll find that some of us have done rehab, others not, and experiences vary.
In terms of programs, too, we vary. I personally favor SMART Recovery, which is based on scientific principles; others prefer spiritually based programs and still others use no program at all and/or rely on SR support.
Eventually you will find your way too. The important thing is to know that recovery is possible.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
Let's start with the drinking....I quit and found a new life
by joining AA. It has proven to be the best thing I ever did...
There are other ways to stop and enjoy a sober/clean life.
The key is to check out what suits you the best.
All my social circle were also at best excessive drinkers.
They thought I was nutso when I said I was now a non drinker.
Most drifted away and that gave me time to find AA friends
who shared my new goals and lifestyle.
As to who I told when...it depended on how close I was with them.
Hope you keep posting....many of us are winning and so can you.
Hope your de tox runs smoothly...don't hesitate to call your doctor and ask how best to withdraw.
Let's start with the drinking....I quit and found a new life
by joining AA. It has proven to be the best thing I ever did...
There are other ways to stop and enjoy a sober/clean life.
The key is to check out what suits you the best.
All my social circle were also at best excessive drinkers.
They thought I was nutso when I said I was now a non drinker.
Most drifted away and that gave me time to find AA friends
who shared my new goals and lifestyle.
As to who I told when...it depended on how close I was with them.
Hope you keep posting....many of us are winning and so can you.
Hope your de tox runs smoothly...don't hesitate to call your doctor and ask how best to withdraw.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Is alcohol or cocaine creating problems for you?
Only you can decide that you don't want to indulge in these things which damage your body and brain. Changing your location or having people watch over you is nice, but it won't stop you if you choose to indulge. You're an adult now. Do you need your parents watching over you? No one can make you stay stopped, except you.
That decision (to stay stopped) is for you and you alone to make and to adhere to.
I could have written this, well, I did. I just found some old journals. ouch
Your decision. Your life.
I wish you well! Glad you are on SR!!
Only you can decide that you don't want to indulge in these things which damage your body and brain. Changing your location or having people watch over you is nice, but it won't stop you if you choose to indulge. You're an adult now. Do you need your parents watching over you? No one can make you stay stopped, except you.
That decision (to stay stopped) is for you and you alone to make and to adhere to.
I could have written this, well, I did. I just found some old journals. ouch
Your decision. Your life.
I wish you well! Glad you are on SR!!
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