conradthe3rd

hi everyone, i have been sober over 6 months 2x but relapsed i am almost 1 month free of alochol again. the worst part for me is being lonley i lost all my friends and know i can see them all if i go to the bar, but i can't, so how do you go about meeting new people?

DisplacedGRITS

Welcome to the forums. I'm in the same boat about meeting people since i've moved to a new area. I'm looking at hanging out at coffee shops, going to small local events, picking up some new/old hobbies (i used to knit so i'm looking at joining or starting a Stitch and Bitch group). I hope that helps.

pauladmits

Church, volunteering, school, library, coffee shops, outdoor activities, gym classes (like yoga, cycling, etc), sports. You have to find activities that attract non-drunks, lol!

neferkamichael

Welcome conrad, losing my friends bothered me in the beginning, but almost 2 years later my old friends are the least of my concerns. I have made new friends and some of the drink, but I have made it clear to everybody I meet I don't drink. Some accept it, some don't. The loneliness will work itself out with time.

Jitterbugg

I've been 'online dating'. The first date is easy to suggest meeting for coffee or going for a walk. If there is a connection, then the absence of alcohol shouldn't matter. Most girls I have been out with were fine with not meeting for drinks. So there's one option...

conradthe3rd

thanx for all the quick replies, maby if we all wore a bandana like a gang or something lol it would be alot easier, to see who is approachable, i also have ptsd and anxiety, so this is cool because i know the people here are similar to me, but outside it's hard to figure out who you can approach

conradthe3rd

ihave tried the online dating thing but havent found any good sites, any suggestions?

pauladmits

Lol, what would our gang color be?

conradthe3rd

how about blue and black, i dont know of any gangs with those colors, ive 3min from atlantic city so i am sure ill find out if i try lol

conradthe3rd

it always feels good to laugh, just this brings me up a few notches on the how i feel o meter

pauladmits

Hahaha, that's funny stuff.

But yea, finding new friends is tough, because it's not like you just want to hang out with anyone because they don't drink, they still have to have similar interests to you. My gf doesn't drink much at all and has some friends that don't drink, but they have nothing in common with me. They hate sports, they hate the stupid movies I like, the tv shows I like, etc. They are excruciatingly boring to hang out with. I'm just attracted to things that typically people who like to drink are attracted too.

So if you find a way to find new friends that share your interests that do not drink, let me know!

2granddaughters

I find sobriety and friendship in Alcoholics Anonymous.

No gangs there ...

All the best.

Bob R

DisplacedGRITS

.I'm tired of being black and blue. I hardly have any bruises now that i'm not falling down drunk

conradthe3rd

i have tried A.A. but i have not met anyone with my intrests, or anything actually other than not drinking in common, i have tried a few different meeting groups,

conradthe3rd

i am 30 yr old male in great shape that loves the outdoors and anything dangerous or adventerous, is there a group for poeple who love girls and a good time that dosent involve alochol................?

Dee74

Hi Conrad - welcome

I've never used them - but a lot of cities now have sober meetup groups - as I understand it, the focus is on friendship, not hooking up - but that's probably no bad thing for a while... staying sober is hard enough

google sober meetups and you'll find a lot of hits in various cities

Congratulations on your month

D

Live2Run25

I too am going through a lot of this. It's so hard! ALL of my friends drink. I'm hoping In time I will find new friends.

SoulforMySoul

I'm having the same problem. There's a local music venue here that has music and zero alcohol. I thought about going there. It's a Christian based venue and I am not Christian but I think it might be good for me as oppose to the bar life.

conradthe3rd

thanx again for all your replies, i think maby we need to try to do something about this,you all must have a passion and drive otherwise we would have not been addicts,lol serisouly in the next few dys lets try to just come up with ideas, brainstorming, via e mail or maby web cast, i dont know but lets try to do something maby we should post this somewhere else,btw i suck at typing and computer stuff

conradthe3rd

so there are many women with the same issues, maby the gang idea could work lol, i am way to shy to talk to random people,in person, if there was only a way....