changer

.....i just wish i could put my hands on a 'normie's head and make them feel what it is like to be an alcoholic.
today my boss of 11+ years is that 'normie'.
i've worked closely with him for ages, and he knows about my alcoholism, has seen it's negative effects when i was active, knows i am in AA and working daily on my sobriety, but....he just doesn't get it.
and i guess i can't expect him to.
he recently asked me to head up a huge new project. and man, would i love to. this particular project has long been a dream of mine...
but, he's not much of a planner. or a realist....he's a great guy, but leaves many of us scrambling to make new things work to his vision or goal. it's incredibly stressful, and when we get it right, rewarding. but, i had to tell him that with 43 days sober, i am not prepared to take that challenge yet.
and he just doesn't get that.
he thinks 'well, you aren't drinking, right? so, what's the problem?'

the problem is that if i don't work this program, and work it like my life depends on it, there won't be a 'me' left to do a damn thing. and i can't afford to stress myself out so much that i put myself in dangerous territory.
i know i did the right thing for myself, for my sobriety.
but i feel like crap. i feel like even though i am sober i am letting people down.
i talked to my sponsor, and am meeting up with her tonight.
just wanted to vent.
thank you for the space to do that!
hope everyone has a peaceful sober evening...
xoxo hil

Sapling

I think you did the right thing...Sobriety has to be your priority right now....You don't have that...There won't be a job. Smart move in my book.

Anna

I think you have to follow your heart and do what you feel is the right thing.

I try to not have expectations of how something will work out or how someone will react, because it usually causes me problems. Your boss is doing the best he can, and you can't expect him to know what it's like in your shoes. Congratulations on your recovery!

Notmyrealname

The positive side of this is, your boss has such faith in you that even when he knows you just got back into Port Sobriety from sailing the seven seas of Alcohol forty-some-odd days ago, he is still picking you as his go-to guy. That's a pretty nice compliment

Dee74

I think you know yourself better than anyone else can ever do - make the right choice for you

I think ultimately that will be the best choice for your company too, even if no one understands that right now but you

D

DisplacedGRITS

Congrats on knowing your limits and putting sobriety first. Lots of people think they have to do everything put in front of them and run themselves ragged and right back into the bottle because they forgot how to say that simple word "no." You're ability to see the potential danger in what your boss wanted you to do and your willingness to put your sobriety first is very inspiring.