WillJ3785

Hi all,

Made it to day 5 after 18 months of drinking heavily at least every second day, and had a drink.. Don't know why I did it as I was not feeling any withdrawals and was not having a bad day.. Feeling disgraceful about myself at the moment but trying to stay as positive as I can and get straight back on the wagon.. Has anyone else failed so quickly in their attempts to stay sober? Hoping this may strengthen my resolve to stay sober knowing how horrible it had made me feel the next day..

Anna

I'm sorry about your relapse. I think it's important to figure out what happened, so that it doesn't happen again. I`m really glad you`re back.

Dee74

I think a lot of us, if not most of us know exactly how you feel Will...many of us faltered a time or two...3-5 days was usually my limit.

I think the thing is to think of what else you can add to whatever you've been doing...try and make sobriety and recovery a permanent factor in your life

D

WillJ3785

I think I just dropped my guard too easily and began thinking that if I can do five days maybe I don't have a problem, which I know is not true.. It's good to know that I'm not alone and it has happened to others just as quickly.. I also think it has reinforced how much I do want to stay sober. I hadn't felt so good in a long time as the last few days. It's great to be able to talk about it here and not be ridiculed for being weak etc..

DalyCityTrain

Sounds familiar....

lifewithoutbooz

Hi WillJ,

I'm on Day 6 (so is my husband) and last night I would have killed for a glass of wine, as did he. We kept looking at each other for what seemed eternity, hoping the other would suggest getting a bottle but neither of us said a peep. Our minds play games making us think that if we can go a few days without a drink, maybe we can have just one. NOT.

Just keep remembering why you're quitting and what life is like when you drink (for me it was DHS). I branded the name myself - Delayed Hangover Syndrome. I can get up in the morning with a hangover but feel pretty darn good. By 3 pm it starts - the shakes, sweats, nausea...I'm sure you get the picture.

Slipping is nothing to be ashamed about. If there's anyone out there who hasn't slipped you're few and far between and I admire you. But for the rest of us, all you can do is get back on the horse. It's a journey and we'll all get there. Keep on riding!!

pauladmits

Dude, it's tough! Just hang in there. You are 4-1 right now, as long as you have a winning record you're doing better than before. I failed on day 6 over the weekend and I was within seconds of getting more alcohol the next day to stop the pain... but it's just not worth it. Take the beating, and get back at it!! It's a long journey and slipping up does not end it!

WillJ3785

So glad I found this place... I was very angry at myself this morning as I did not want to feel like this in the morning again. But that quickly turned into a positive when I realized how much I truly want to stay sober and like you said, straight back on the horse.. Time to get back to being positive and going after what I really want, a clear sober future.. Thanks again for all the support guys, will be hanging around here for quite some time I think

Hevyn

Hi Will. Yes, I failed numerous times, until I felt that I'd lose my life if I continued. In the end, I had to stop. Finding SR gave me the courage I needed. Once I didn't feel alone anymore I felt stronger. We know you can get back on track and have the life you want.

desertsong

Will, don't beat yourself up. We all know what that feels like. We get some sober time, feel good, and then our addiction tells us that we can have "just a couple" and be fine. Somewhere deep inside, we know it's a lie but we do it anyway. We get it, believe me.

As long as you keep trying, you still have a chance. We can help. Glad you came back.

WillJ3785

Yeah was definitely beating myself up this morning, but I'll take it in my stride and resume the fight.. Nice to know there are lik minded people in here that have been through the same thing, advice is very valuable.. Next time I'm trying to trick myself into thinking its ok to have "just a couple" I'll be heading in here to keep myself going

MrsKing

Don't dwell on the guilt you feel about having a drink, focus instead on how you achieved beforehand. You can do this, you really can. Remember back to when you decided to take that first drink - was it all thoughts of "well, if I can go 5 days then I don't have a problem", or were there other thoughts there, too? Figuring these thoughts out can really help. When we understand WHY we do things then we can change them - we can give ourselves techniques to ignore/know better than what those thoughts tell us.

That voice is something I get still from time to time. I think, "well, I've been going almost 3 months now, I can't have a problem, SURELY!?! I'd have definitely had to have SOMETHING if that were the case."

But that's addiction talking. It's not what I want or what I need, it's my old habits and thoughts resurfacing and trying to persuade me to go back to my old ways. I don't give in. I remember WHY I had to make the decision to be sober in the first place, I remember that OK, I may not have had to have a drink in that time, but if I were a normal drinker I wouldn't have had to decide to quit in the first place.

Learning when to spot that awful voice and distinguishing between whether it's what you want or what your addiction wants is key to sobriety (for me, anyway).

instant

Not getting a foothold was the storey of my life for a very very long time, interspersed with forgetting all about it - just keep going. Learn about urges and be objective about your thoughts and feelings.

We get sucked back in by the part of ourselves that wants to get wasted.

2granddaughters

Will, if things get really bad and you find you can't do this yourself, you can go to AA.

All the best in your chosen program of recovery.

Bob R