holdingontight

I recently found in recovery relationships are toxic? Can anyone elaborate please?

KnowHope

For the record, AA does not say that.

If an individual AA member said this, then that may be their personal opinion, perhaps based on personal experience from not learning how to have their own healthy relationships with others...yet. If that's the case, i would hope they would continue to grow and find healthy relationships in the future.

Or is it possible there was a misunderstanding, as that's a pretty sweeping statement over something most of the world partakes in with such passionate efforts?

Relationships are a part of the human experience, as love is a part of the human experience, and i sure wouldn't want to go through life missing something so spiritually amazing.

UpperbucksAAguy

Relationships are not toxic, untreated alcoholics may be

sugarbear1

Maybe they mean that: As a recovering alcoholic in AA, my first year is spent on staying stopped, working the steps, studying the big book, and learning who I am, learning to have a one on one relationship with my sponsor and others. What do I truly have to bring to a relationship?

That may be the person's thinking. It's best to discuss this with the source of the comment....ask the person who said it to explain what they mean. I can only guess what they are thinking.

UpperbucksAAguy

Maybe they meant alcoholics have poor hearing?

CarolD

Welcome to SR....

I checked out your earlier post ...

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...aving-him.html

Sorry to know of your situation....I suggest you find a local support
group for yourself. Alanon is for those who are dealing with others
who drink...

holdingontight

I've been to meetings with his counsilors and their teaching him all of these things. I know about the ALONON meetings, but thank you for your suggestion.

sugarbear1

it's either a toxic relationship or a healthy one, possibly in between....

tomsteve

in recovery, any relationship with someone still drinking is toxic for me. if i am around them, i will start thinking like them, acting like them, then drinking like them.

holdingontight

That is very true when my ExABF gets around his old friends he starts craving it.

holdingontight

They sure enough said this in my ExABF last meeting, right before he relapsed yet again.