Day 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7
Day 2
Hey everyone. I'm almost 40 and have been binge drinking most of my life. I had a year of sobriety about 3 years ago with the help of cameral. I was pretty miserable being sober. Was resentful, angry, bored and depressed for most of the year. I usually have those feeling except when I drink for the most part. I'm a pretty happy social drunk. I've never physically hurt anyone or had a DWI. I was smart enough to move to an urban area where I can easily crawl home from whatever watering whole I would spend my time in. I would drink at home too. Binge drink mostly. Drink and pass out and drink and pass out. This would usually go on for almost a week until I'd get the strength to stay away. Usually with the help of a benzo or two.
Anyway. I started going to AA but always have these hard feeling of isolation and don't really feel like I belong or fit in. My mind hasn't been in a good place though this being only day two. I'm trying. I need to do something other than take campral as that only helped my cravings and I obviously have other issues. I've been attempting to ween myself off Klonopin too but will tackle that more aggressively in a few days (I really don't take that high of a dose so that shouldn't be too bad).
I just feel so lost and depressed and tired of the whole thing...
Thank you for reading.
Regards,
Chris
Anyway. I started going to AA but always have these hard feeling of isolation and don't really feel like I belong or fit in. My mind hasn't been in a good place though this being only day two. I'm trying. I need to do something other than take campral as that only helped my cravings and I obviously have other issues. I've been attempting to ween myself off Klonopin too but will tackle that more aggressively in a few days (I really don't take that high of a dose so that shouldn't be too bad).
I just feel so lost and depressed and tired of the whole thing...
Thank you for reading.
Regards,
Chris
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7
Two meeting in two days. I have a full time job and two young kids at home so it's kind of hard. I was going to go tonight but had too much stuff to take care of. Two days does feel like an eternity and I'm just hoping I start feeling better physically and mentally soon.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
you may want to keep going to meetings and listen and relate. i am guessing thet yer still in the fog and that will take time to get out of. i am sure there are meetings that will let you take your kids into. i know every meeting around here encourages it. we want to be accomodating to help anyone get sober.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
I can sort of relate to how you are feeling. When I first started to go to meetings I still felt very isolated. I seldom spoke during the meetings and never came early or stayed after the meeting, even just for a few minutes. It took a while before I could open up much.
I was told early on that honesty was important, so, when I did share I was a tad negative. That met with mixed results, but at least I was getting input about what was going on with me.
You say you are having trouble with being “resentful, angry, bored and depressed" when you don't drink. I would recommend doing the steps and see if that helps. There is a good chance it will. I would also consider an evaluation to rule out depression.
Hang in there. Detoxing is no fun. I wish you well.
I was told early on that honesty was important, so, when I did share I was a tad negative. That met with mixed results, but at least I was getting input about what was going on with me.
You say you are having trouble with being “resentful, angry, bored and depressed" when you don't drink. I would recommend doing the steps and see if that helps. There is a good chance it will. I would also consider an evaluation to rule out depression.
Hang in there. Detoxing is no fun. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 464
Anyway. I started going to AA but always have these hard feeling of isolation and don't really feel like I belong or fit in. My mind hasn't been in a good place though this being only day two. I'm trying. I need to do something other than take campral as that only helped my cravings and I obviously have other issues. I've been attempting to ween myself off Klonopin too but will tackle that more aggressively in a few days (I really don't take that high of a dose so that shouldn't be too bad).
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: casablanca
Posts: 282
I can relate to what you said. I am 42 and I have been trying to sober up for as long as I can remember. I relapsed several times and I was never at ease when sober or should I say dry until I started working the steps. I have never gotten a sponsor until this last year. I was the type who would not share his problems with another human being, thought it was a sign of weakness especially for us men. But a sponsor is someone who been through the wringer too and understand that you need some direction. This sobriety thing was not easy for me I won't lie, but I just keep doing what they say, going to any length to get it. getting a sponsor, humbling myself, working or living the steps is what's been working for me so far.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
The good news is that it doesn't matter whether you feel like you belong or fit in to AA to be able to utilize the AA program and fellowship.
Still have your big book?
Still have telephone numbers of any sober members of AA to call daily?
Try to read today if you can.
Nourish yourself.
Pray.
You can do it.
Still have your big book?
Still have telephone numbers of any sober members of AA to call daily?
Try to read today if you can.
Nourish yourself.
Pray.
You can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7
Day 3 is almost in the books..I still feel foggy and icky really. Campral is making my stomach feel like crap (all the coffee I drink doesn't help either).
I have had a real hard time sleeping and have been working everyday also. I have two young kids at home too. A son under who's almost two and a daughter who is six months. I haven't had much time to read or get my head together. I'm able to go to a meeting during lunch. I get home from work and have to help cook and clean and do all that nonsense that's necessary to live and have a family.
I have more motivation to get sober now that I have those two really.
I just take .5 mg of Klonopin. To help me unwind and sleep. I'm going to keep the Klonoping at that dose for another few days and then drop it to .25mg and then hopefully that will be over soon too.
It's overwhelming to think about the state I'm in. My marriage and isn't in the best of places either to be honest.
At least I can say I have a roof over my head and still have a job and no legal issues (I'm trying to stay positive). I need to get sober before I can deal with my personal baggage with a clear head.
I have had a real hard time sleeping and have been working everyday also. I have two young kids at home too. A son under who's almost two and a daughter who is six months. I haven't had much time to read or get my head together. I'm able to go to a meeting during lunch. I get home from work and have to help cook and clean and do all that nonsense that's necessary to live and have a family.
I have more motivation to get sober now that I have those two really.
I just take .5 mg of Klonopin. To help me unwind and sleep. I'm going to keep the Klonoping at that dose for another few days and then drop it to .25mg and then hopefully that will be over soon too.
It's overwhelming to think about the state I'm in. My marriage and isn't in the best of places either to be honest.
At least I can say I have a roof over my head and still have a job and no legal issues (I'm trying to stay positive). I need to get sober before I can deal with my personal baggage with a clear head.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I'll have 23 years next month.
The oldtimers were right.. it keeps getting better as time goes on in AA.
Keep coming back and doing what the oldtimers did to recover. It's an ongoing process.
All the best.
Bob R
The oldtimers were right.. it keeps getting better as time goes on in AA.
Keep coming back and doing what the oldtimers did to recover. It's an ongoing process.
All the best.
Bob R
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