Oops- try to learn from my mistake
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 37
Oops- try to learn from my mistake
Well I got all crazy last week during my ABF's vanishing act. Swept right up! I know, back to Al-Anon for me this week... During the panic, I reached out to someone who was willing to help me who is a friend of my ABF, but I am acquainted with.
We were on the phone, it was almost 10pm on a Thursday, and he got swept up in the panic too! Come over he says, we will figure this out...if we have to run all over town! I was explaining The last thing my ABF had said to me. Yammering on the phone, I decided to check his duffel bag pockets to see if his bank stuff was missing, if he had left his address book in there- anything... And I found an invoice for a post office box rental nearby.
Don't do this. I was not intending to snoop, I got caught up in thinking he was dead, and gosh I may need to call lots of people... None of my friends can come up with a good explanation for his action. I've racked my brain, and can only come up with that he was (3weeks ago) preparing to leave me, or get kicked out. I am now in the awkward position of letting something I shouldn't know eat away at me, with no way of raising the issue. I may not have put the paper back folded neatly, so he likely suspects. And I have to accept that I wouldn't believe any reason he gave me anyway. So I hope someone else learns from this. I walked by the post office that his box is in today, and felt like throwing up.
We were on the phone, it was almost 10pm on a Thursday, and he got swept up in the panic too! Come over he says, we will figure this out...if we have to run all over town! I was explaining The last thing my ABF had said to me. Yammering on the phone, I decided to check his duffel bag pockets to see if his bank stuff was missing, if he had left his address book in there- anything... And I found an invoice for a post office box rental nearby.
Don't do this. I was not intending to snoop, I got caught up in thinking he was dead, and gosh I may need to call lots of people... None of my friends can come up with a good explanation for his action. I've racked my brain, and can only come up with that he was (3weeks ago) preparing to leave me, or get kicked out. I am now in the awkward position of letting something I shouldn't know eat away at me, with no way of raising the issue. I may not have put the paper back folded neatly, so he likely suspects. And I have to accept that I wouldn't believe any reason he gave me anyway. So I hope someone else learns from this. I walked by the post office that his box is in today, and felt like throwing up.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Playing private detective and getting everyone involved in a codie frenzy accomplishes nothing. He is going to do what he is going to do and you and your sidekick will not stop him.
As for the PO Box that is his business, not yours. He is an adult and you are not his mommy.
And yes, I agree, I hope that others will learn what not to do when not only dealing with an A, but just generally in a relationship.
As for the PO Box that is his business, not yours. He is an adult and you are not his mommy.
And yes, I agree, I hope that others will learn what not to do when not only dealing with an A, but just generally in a relationship.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 37
Right Dollydo! That was what I realized the very next day. Don't get dragged into the drama, and try to only focus on what we can control, which is our own behaviour. He can and will do what he wants, and no good comes from failing to mind your own business. Like I said, I just wanted to help others here.
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