strengthtobeone

Just wondering about a definition for this... What does it look like?

FredG

Not sure what you're looking for ? I've never heard of Spiritual Abuse. Not saying it doesn't exist, just that I've never heard of it.

Learn2Live

David Koresh?

MeredithD1

I'll give it a try.

Materializations (that which we see/feel/experience with our physical senses) manifest from the spiritual planes. Materializations move from the spiritual to the physical. With that in mind, you know the spiritual planes are not all angel harps and fairy dust.

When there is abuse on the material/physical plane, it started as abuse on the spiritual plane. What is seen is the result of what started spiritually.

When one "sees it coming," one is seeing onto the spiritual plane, that which has the potential to manifest on the physical.

A counselor gave the following illlustration from an experience she had.

She said that a married couple came to her for relationship therapy. The husband had been verbally abusive toward the wife, and had been doing other therapy to stop that abuse. His efforts were sincere and his wife noted that he had improved and wasn't being verbally abusive any more. However, her body language toward him was that of someone preparing for a blow. She said she still wanted to divorce him, even after all of his efforts. He was struggling with the faltering relationship.

The counselor pointed out how he was still "beating her up" on the spiritual planes. She helped him realize what he was doing there, and during this same session, he did what was necessary to stop. Realization that he was still holding controlling and abusive attitudes inwardly, despite changing his outward behavior, was an epiphany for him and he was able to let go. His wife's body language relaxed and they were able to save their marriage.

FredG

I wouldn't call what he did Spiritual Abuse. His abuse, in my opinion, centered more on his addiction to power.

In my opinion, "Religion is Man Made, Spirituality is God Given".

Religion, in one form or another, has been used for centuries as a tool to batter people as evidenced by the Crusades. "Follow our path or suffer eternal damnation", is used by many churches to keep their followers in line.

Spirituality on the other hand, in my opinion, centers on the simple teaching common to most religions - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Not sure how this can be abused

Learn2Live

I thought spiritual abuse was an abuse of power. Manipulating others with spiritual beliefs to control and exploit.

FredG

In my opinion, if what you say is true, then by your very definition, the name of spiritual abuse would be Religion. I say that with tongue in cheek.

I think what you're trying to get across, is just outright abuse. Using one tool or another to force your will on another. In this case the tool just happens to be religious belief

strengthtobeone

I saw a post where someone referred to spiritual abuse along with the emotional, physical, verbal abuse. If you google it it comes up as a religious abuse, as in using someone's belief in God to get them to do something. This seems straightforward enough. Meredith's answer definitely touches on what I was wondering. That it is a "gut feeling"... Interesting.

I have been addressing my fears related to all sorts of abuse that I have experienced in my life. Been praying a lot and trying not to stay in fear.

Florence

Using someone's spiritual or religious beliefs to coerce them into doing things they would not otherwise do. For example, a husband telling a wife that she must submit to him as ordained by God/scripture in order to keep her under his control so she'll quietly suffer more of his abuse.

MeredithD1

I remembered this topic after I woke up this morning and wanted to give ESH here.

I faced a challenge in the wee hours of the morning. The smoke alarm started to chirp due to low battery. AH had to get up to put in the new 9V.

He started a regular job Monday, first time since 2008. He was under the influence Sunday night, Monday night, and I could smell the alcohol through his pores as he changed the battery.

A wave of anger and hate threatened to overtake me. It felt like a battle of good vs. evil. I could feel on the inner planes, the spiritual planes, that I wanted to yell hell at him, to beat on him for drinking when this is his first opportunity in four years for us to get our finances back on track.

I know anger and hatred are not in HP's plan for me. So I meditated and was given HP's love that took the anger and hatred away from me, and then I became a vessel for sending AH love and light that he was not receiving that HP was trying to send. This is the healing love and light that can do more than bludgeoning my AH with my "righteous anger."

HP reminded me, "I want everyone to make it. It is not yours to give up on him."

I feel a great sense of victory. I feel more familiar with AH's struggle with alcohol because I experienced such a struggle feeling like my anger was righteous and I was entitled to it. I feel proud of myself that I went to HP with this and through HP, had victory.

One person's victory strengthens us all, just like when an A is able to experience a victory over alcohol, s/he is groundbreaking a path out of addiction for all.

lillamy

I've interpreted it the same way Florence does. My AXH took help of clergy when his own attempts at controlling me didn't help. And the pastor did help with the abuse, telling me I was in contempt of God's will when I left AXH. That I should have stayed and endured the abuse (well, he didn't call it that -- he said "godly correction from your God-given husband") and there would have been a crown in heaven for me.

That's when I knew they weren't serving the God I serve.

tomsteve

Spiritual abuse is the maltreatment of a person in the name of a god, deity, faith, cult-religion, or church, whether habitual or not, and includes any of the following:
Psychological and emotional abuse
Physical abuse that includes physical injury, deprivation of sustenance
Sexual abuse
Any act by deeds or words that demean, humiliate or shame the natural worth and dignity of a person as a human being
Submission to spiritual authority without any right to disagree; intimidation
Unreasonable control of a person's basic right to make a choice on spiritual matters
False accusation and repeated criticism by negatively labeling a person as disobedient, rebellious, lacking faith, demonized, apostate, enemy of the church or a deity (a god)
Prevention from practicing faith or Spiritualism
Isolation or separation from family and friends due to cult-religious or Spiritual affiliation
Exclusivity; dismissal of an outsider's criticism and labeling an outsider as an imaginary demon or devil
Withholding information and giving of information only to a selected few
Conformity to a dangerous or unnatural cult-religious view and practice
Hostility that includes shunning, (relational aggression, parental alienation) and persecution

changeschoices

From what I've read, spiritual abuse is either:

1) Putting someone down for their spiritual beliefs, i.e., mocking their religion, religious practices, religious beliefs, not wanting them to follow their religious practices, etc.

2) Using one's own religious beliefs to abuse another person, i.e., telling them they are going to hell, telling them they are inferior for not following your beliefs, etc.

MeredithD1

So maybe spiritual abuse is all of these things. I think so.

strengthtobeone

Thanks for all the helpful replies. I have been both victim and perpetrator of abuse, and I wasn't sure what spiritual abuse was. I think I have a broader and better understanding now.

Spiritual abuse can be very black and white, like religious cults and brainwashing are bad, and seem obvious to people who are not in the cult. But isn't it weird that when you get yourself into an abusive situation, you can't even see it? I see that using someone's spiritual beliefs to control them is definitely spiritual abuse, but it seemed like there was something more mysterious about the whole thing... Like when you experience any type of abuse, it is going to be spiritual in nature, right? So to keep it simple, I will hang on the dictionary definition, and know in my heart that any form of abuse is going to be spiritually damaging, as it has great potential to put distance between myself and my HP. Leads to questioning, doubting, grief and pain.

I have worked hard to let go of my fears about abuse. I realize that when someone chooses to abuse me, I can stand there and believe it and continue to be a victim, OR I can do other things... Like NOT believe whatever they said or did to be truth. OR leave the situation entirely, OR change the subject. I don't have to believe they are evil and bad humans, but I certainly have a relationship with my Higher Power nowadays that helps me see I don't have to buy into whatever they say! Thank Goodness!

Tuffgirl

I didn't realize there were people in our country who still think and talk like that...

Still Waters

There are a whole bunch of them.

lillamy

Yes there are. And some of them claim to speak for God. Which probably saddens God even more than it infuriates me...