Endofline

Ok so those of you that have been following my recent posts know that just last nighti had locks changed. Not even 24 Brabant gone by and although. I woke up feeling peaceful. I even kept myself busy, but now just hours later I found myself in the same public place as him. He knew I was there but didn't even attempt to contact me or look for me or see who I was with or come over begging for forgiveness like I would have imagined in my head I know so silly. I feel so rejected! He would rather have his own life with is own group of friends. Isnt that enough for me to realize he doesn't care because when he says he isn't in love with me any longer. He really means it! I guess I just can't understand it and I'm feeling so rejected. Maybe the drugs are to mask the misery of living with a person you no longer love and feel stuck with and I just couldn't accept it. Nut here I o again completely consumed by what he is thinking rather than trying to find my own happiness. I did go and seek him out I couldn't bring myself to humiliate myself in front of theses people that k ow he isn't with me. Deep in my heart I know if someone loves you they will seek you out. And even if all that has happened I still love him. I have to set him free. I was just thinking maybe all of us cocked just can't come to grips that they don't love us and we hate the rejection so we blame the drugs and alcohol,but he can drink and not be mad at his friends so maybe he just had enough of me

dollydo

Honestly you need therapy, you gave up your children for this loser, you are chasing him around and can't let go, you are torturing yourself for no reason, he is done, he has moved on.

Dosen't make any difference what the reason was, he has detached from you, time for you to do the same.

I don't mean to sound harsh, however, you are not a teenager in a teeny bopper relationship, you are an adult who should be more concerned about having a good relationship with her children, rather than pining/chasing some addict who has broken up with her.

Endofline

Wow I guess if none of us needed help this website wouldn't even exist. I am doing everything I can with my children , I just don't post it on here. Yesterday was my middle Childs senior prom shr looked absolutely beautiful I'm so proud of all my childten and I'm glad they are all happy. They aren't little anymore my oldest has been living in the city on her own for 3years now. Thayer have their own social lives but I'm very involved with them. I was posting about my alcoholic and drug addict husband and our relationship because I thought that's what this site was for.

LoveMeNow

Endofline -

I got the same kinds of posts. They stung like he77 but sit back and think about it for a while....they are well intended, the truth does hurt and they shook me out of denial.

I would get so mad...lol....then after a little while....I knew they were right. I needed to hear it. I needed to change. I was even told to GROW UP...ouch... but I did need to. She was so right. Wallowing in my own miserly was making me more miserable. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

The first year of a relationship is always wonderful..its the honey moon period. The reality is - the years after. How many good years have you had?

EnglishGarden

Relationship with an addict--even one very brief--can cause a chaos in our brains. It is--in my opinion--the tentacles of the disease, which sickens everyone who is close by.

Just allow yourself some time, stay away from wherever he may be, and let your mind cleanse itself.

It helps to write down your thoughts, no matter how confused or crazy they may seem, because that is part of the cleansing.

Pray for serenity. Try to believe in your own worth. Be accountable for your choices.

Make amends to any relationships you may have neglected in your obsession with him.

All this will help you heal.

Endofline

Yes I know you are all right and I need to move on. I was just venting and writing my thoughts down as I said maybe he just doesn't love me and I couldn't accept it. I'm not in denial I'm finally facing what's been there all along

Endofline

For the record I was meeting a friend out. When I realized he was there I said to myself I'm not leaving and going to sit home by myself. It's a small town. My auto correct said I went up to him but I typed or at least I thought I typed I didn't approach him. But yes I was feeling rejected that he didn't want to see me. Should I come on this site and lie? I'm human and I'm trying that's all I can say

Katiekate

No, you should't lie, and you should probably continue to come here and get support , opinions, that is the thing about support and love and caring, it means the truth, and sometimes it hurts, it's not meant to. People standing outside the situation often can see better than we can ourselves, many of these people posting have been there, are working or have worked their program, they are not judging, their view is different, they have been on both sides, the side of agony and a side closer to recovery, and they care, you need that right now.

xo

Kindeyes

We';re all human. And often, the truth is the last thing we really want to hear.....that's part of the human condition. There's a wonderful quote that is attributed to Gloria Steinem that I love.....the truth in the statement makes me laugh every single time.

"The truth will set you free.......but first it's going to **** you off."

When the truth pisses me off (and it does with uncanny frequency), I know that there is a reason that it's pissing me off and I need to examine that reason. It may be because I expected a different answer (unstated/unmet expectations = resentment). It may be because the "truth" is so dang obvious that the last thing I needed was for someone to rub my nose in it (a case of Thank you for that insight Captain Obvious). But my reaction usually has a lot more to do with me than it does with the other person.

You have already stated the truth as you see it. Your truth will set you free (even our own truth may **** us off though). Seeing things as they really are and not in the manner in which you imagined they should be....that will set you free. You were not being rejected.....he is setting you free but the thoughts that are occupying your mind are keeping you in the bondage of regret and resentment. It's a form of self torture that I have participated in more times than I care to count.

Now then......what are you going to do for yourself today? How are you going to comfort yourself today? How are you going to show yourself how very worthy of love you are today?

Sending gentle hugs your way,
ke

Vale

Yeah. The truth hurts.I once asked an oxy addict about
the person I cared about.
I said,honestly.....I have been worried sick about this
Mom who threw her entire life/kids in the toilet.....day and
night I think of her homeless/hungry/etc.
My question was.....does she EVER think of how
much she is hurting all of those who care about her?
The answer?

"Not at all, not even for a moment,it's as if we don't
exist........if you are not actively helping her obtain oxy
at that EXACT moment....then you don't exist ,and never
existed.

Yeah--- the truth hurts( but it beats the alternative)

kiki5711

I did very stupid things to keep my "imaginary" relationship thinking, I know he loves me. When I think back of the stuff I've done, I think I was actually "insane". If I told you of those things, you'd say "yes" you were definitely stupid. Not insane.

Same thing with my ex husband. While neither of the relationships were about any kind of addiction, I just couldn't let it go for some reason.

But, once I did, it was so "liberating" so "free" I felt like I was 18 yrs old again, and still had a life time ahead of me.

But what kept me hounding those two losers is something I'll never understand.

Endofline

I went out last night with an old friend a male but just a friend. Had a great time. Woke up this morning fed my neighbors cat she is away walked on the boardwalk with two of my three children then had breakfast with them. I then cleaned my house from top to bottom I am feeling peaceful for the moment. Yesterday I was a little sad by tonight who knows how I will feel. I'm just being honest. I really enjoyed my time with the kids I wasn't consumed by thoughts of anything negative. I was present with them in every sense of the word. We did pass my husband on the road this is a a very small beach community and he acted like he was going to run us of the road so immature. I know he is angry with me for making him leave house and changing locks. He may get attorney and he will probably be allowed back in but for now there is peace and it feels good

LoveMeNow

My husband called me bummer, A B-U-M-M-E-R! At first I thought he meant I was too uptight, then the light bulb went on. I said "Really? Am I killing your buzz? Say it right, I am a buzz killer."

I can almost still remember the look on his, lol. Of course, he denied it. And here the real insanity...to prove me wrong, he went and bought a drug test.......and FAILED it!

I went and got garbage bags (he wasn't good enough for a suit case) threw his clothes in there and said GET OUT and GET HELP!! I

Three weeks later he was a "changed" man and I believed it...ugh!!!
Talk about insanity, !!