HurtAgain

I have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years with an alcoholic. Before him were two others; one for 6 1/2 years and married to one for 5 years. I loved and still deeply love my boyfriend. He left in January and came back a month later with harsh demands. He didn't like my hair, how I dressed, had completely unrealistic sexual requests and the list goes on. I wanted him back so bad that I caved. During the time he was gone I learned of his previous step 4 information in his previous five attempts in AA and learned that he dropped out each time at step 4. The moral inventory was harsh and very scary. He came back for three monts and abruptly left again even despite my attempts at fulfilling his requests. He gets very angry and points the finger at me for everything being wrong, but then says its him and not me. I live in constant stress when he's around because of the drinking and when he's gone I live in constant worry of where he's at and what he's doing. What's wrong with me? Is this a normal pattern? Every conversation I have with him he says he still loves me and never fell out of love with me. Last night he said that I deserve someone who will be good to me and take care of me. That he will be dead of cancer or cirrhosis in ten years and to look him up at his gravestone. Every night he is drunk and the weekends is like a huge binge. Can an alcoholic survive like that? I have learned he's been an alcoholic over 20 years and he's 39 years old now. What's worse is the lies that he tells me and things he says about me to his family. I feel like an absolutely crazy person!!

suki44883

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Life with an active addict can be hell. You are right to let him go. He has nothing to offer you except more grief.

Maybe you need some therapy to find out why you continue to choose these types of men to get involved with. The faces change, but the actions are the same.