Stayingtough

I WANT to stay, help my AH through his addiction

I NEED to go to protect myself and my son

I WANT to live out my dreams, of a happy family, 2 little babies and a loving husband

I NEED to let go of those dreams and make new ones

I WANT to ingore and deny the truth of my husbands addiction

I NEED to realize that this man, who is gentle, kind, and a loving father- has a very strong addiction to herion

I WANT to believe that our life can resume in only a few weeks of being clean

I NEED to always remember that recovery takes time, and a lot of work

I WANT to believe when he tells me that this is it this time

I NEED to accept that until he completely surrenders himself, this will not be it for him

I WANT to cling to him, for him to tell me everything will be ok

I NEED to find my own strength, without him

Stayingtough

I move out tomorrow, the want vs need has been tearing me apart for days. Doing the right thing, is far to often the hardest. This would be so much easier if i wanted to leave.

JustAYak

Even though it hurts, you're doing the right thing, especially for your son. Being the child of a [deceased] heroin addict myself, I can tell you with certainty that you ARE doing the right thing. I wish I had had a guardian that cared about me enough to do that when I was younger. Kudos to you

FindingJoy

Good for you. It feels strange and uncomfortable taking care of yourself when you haven't done it in a long time if ever. So this is a good uncomfortable. It will pass just sit with it...kinda like getting your eyebrows plucked/waxed...you know you gotta do it, don't want to, it hurts, it stings, your skin is irritated, then all calms down and you look faboulous.