rustdoll

I've only been drinking two years, but I've known for a while that I have a problem. I'm not sure why I haven't tried to quit before now - I think I felt like it wasn't bad enough yet, and why not keep going and have a bit of fun until I reach my "bottom"?
Except it really isn't fun anymore. Just last night I called my ex, drunk and begging. I was walking too fast and fell over, rather comically, and could barely get up in the middle of the street, in front of hundreds of people. The memory shames me so much, and I don't even remember what I did after or how I got home...
This is happening about 4-5 times a week now. Usually I'm home so I don't embarrass myself too much, or I drink a little less than that.
I don't want this to happen anymore. I'm done drinking. I have no self control.
I'm 20, my name is Jenny.

Sapling

Welcome Jenny...This place is a good start. Glad to have you here...Some great people here that would like to see you get better.

artsoul

Welcome Jenny!

I'm glad you're ready for a change - it really isn't fun when alcohol starts running our lives. Take heart, though, because you're not alone - lots of us have been there and found a way out.:ghug3

This is a great place - we're here for ya!

least

Welcome to the SR family! :ghug3 You're smart for turning your life around while you're still young.

breath

Welcome Jenny, this is a great start; you will also find fellowship from the welcoming and helpful folks in AA. You've taken a great step; It's not what we've lost that tells us we need help, but our level of desperation. You are right, when it's not fun but problems, the fun will return in your recovery.

MarkstheSpot

Welcome. This site's a good antidote to the outside world.

Dee74

hi and welcome Jenny

D

instant

Hi Jenny and welcome. Alcohol does little for one's deportment.

kellyrally

hi Jenny,

Welcome. I haven't been on this forum very long, but already it has helped me.

Hope you find the same.

Anna

Hi Jenny,

We've all done things that we are ashamed of when we were drinking, so you are not alone.

Good for you for deciding to live a sober life.

eJoshua

Welcome Jenny --

Drinking wasn't much fun for me anymore either at the time that I quit. Unfortunately, people that drink like you and I have terribly selective memory. It gets pretty easy to forget why you don't want to drink.

I think if you can stay quit then you'll be in great shape! I got sober one year ago at 25, so I'm not terribly old, but I still wish I would have sobered up sooner. I missed out on some of the best years of my life because I was trashed constantly.

Best of luck in your sobriety.

JimJim

Hello Jenny,

I'm 28 now and have finally accepted that I can't drink and feel better for it. I knew at your age I had a problem with it though, good on you for seeking some advice and searching now.

I have found there to be lots of wisdom and kind advice here.

Best wishes

rustdoll

Thank you, for the warm welcome! I've been lurking for a few weeks now, and just reading has offered me a lot of great advice.
Truly, waking up in the morning knowing what you did or wondering what happened last night... has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. I hope I never have that again.
I know I drink to escape. I just don't understand why I keep doing it, when it makes everything worse. I can't stop when I'm tipsy, I just keep going. I end up crying and feel more upset than I did sober. Yet I still do it... it's a mystery.

instant

Jenny I think of it this way.

• Normal people have an off switch. It turns off their desire for alcohol when they get to a certain point-
  
• Some people are born with no off switch- just in the same way some people are born with other body parts missing.
  
• Some people have an off switch but it wears out due to to much drinking and no longer functions.

Along with the above alcohol is addictive- which means we keep using inspite of negative consequences in our lives.

Once the mayhem starts it will only get worse.

sissy07

Jenny,

welcome to SR!