RyanRyan

So the last several weeks I have been doing really well. I drank heavily everyday and on the weekends very heavy. At first I went a day here and there. Then I went four days, then I made ten days sober. Last week I went all week without a drink. I'm getting there but I'm still finding myself drinking on the weekends not as much as before but still more than I'd like to. I've added up all the drinks i didn't consume this month and I'm very proud of how far I've come. But I want more of myself now. I polished off a case of beer from Friday through yesterday and a couple bottles of wine. Which is really nothing compared to what it used to be. I want to cut that down to nearly zero...any advice, thanks for letting me ramble

thesun

Hi Ryan,

Drinking only on the weekends will not help and will lead you back to where you started. You say you want to cut to nearly zero. Does that mean you will have one or two? That definitely wouldn't work for me.

Spinach

Try zero for a time see how it feels.
You might be amazed.
John

jimmydean

Hey Ryan, I did very much the same thing as what you are doing. I would go a week to 10 days not drinking then have a couple which would lead to a full on binge . It really all leads to the same place, only difference is that you have the guilt to go along with it when you drink to much on the weekends. What worked best for me was to break it down to small goals. For me, abstaining for a min of 21 days made everything a lot easier. If you can buckle down and get 3 weeks sober, read as much as you can, resist the conversation in your head that convinces you that everything is fine. I am 40+ days today and although some days are tougher than others, the noise in my brain is getting quieter.

Sapling

You aren't going to get anywhere doing that Ryan...My suggestion...Stop drinking now...Hit up a few AA meetings and listen to some people that have stopped for good....You don't even have to talk...Maybe you can meet some people after the meeting and make some sober friends....Think Recovery....It works.

hypochondriac

Ryan, I could be mistaken but don't you have some problems with your liver? If so has no one told you that you need to give up drinking completely?

I was told by my neurologist that I had to give up drinking completely. It came as a bit of a shock, I don't know why because before that happened I'd already tried to get help to quit but I was told to cut down and I couldn't do it...'just decide how much to drink every night', which I tried but unfortunately after a few beers I always managed to open the door and go out for more, genius.

Complete abstinence was my only option, it's scary at first but get less scary, especially if you get every bit of help you can...

Dee74

If you have liver disease Ryan you're really playing with fire.

If that's not enough to make you stop completely, I'm not really sure what else to add, man.

You could stop now and have every chance of a long full and happy life - what's keeping you from stopping completely?

D

RyanRyan

I guess I really have no excuse to just stop period. It's just really hard for me. I've been drinking for so many years like it was nothing and now all the sudden I have to make what seems to be a major life change and I hate it. Even faced with the liver issues I guess I'm allowing myself to make excuses that if I just slow down it will be ok. It's true I will just end up in the same place just worse off. Trying to justify my doing so great, but still tipping the bottle and comparing it to what I used to do wont do anything. I still feel the guilt on Mondays and the hangover for a couple days. Time to get serious I guess.

Dee74

The livers a remarkable organ but it\s powers of rejuvenation only go so far Ryan...I'm not sure how old you are but I'm guessing you're not 18 anymore...we all get to the point where our elastic band doesn't pop back anymore, y'know?

I know change is scary - but there's noone here who'd tell you they lost out on the deal.

I was a party hard no responsibility teenager for 20 years - i kept drinking for years because I didn't want to give that up...but I actually really like being an adult now...because I am one

make the leap of faith ryan

D

Sapling

It is a major life change...But you'll love it....You can start to see what living really is.

RyanRyan

Thanks Dee and Sapling. You both are so cool!

epskie

Hi Ryan,

I thought I'd read on another thread that you've had some liver issues? I have one month on Friday - so still very early days. My friend died of liver failure on April 4th and that was when I had my last drink.
She was told last year that if she stopped drinking she had a chance at life - the yellowing skin and eyes started to fade and her husband and daughters saw a glimmer of hope. 3 months ago she picked up a drink and she was cremated on April 9th.
My head is clearer now Ryan - it's not buzzing with 'Well if I only have a drink on Friday and Saturday, then miss Sunday......' blah blah blah. I'm free, I con concentrate on my real life, and it's so much better. Make the change. Good luck xx

kellyrally

Gosh that is very sad!

RyanRyan

Epskie I am so sorry to hear that. Thanks for telling me. I don't want that for my daughters or my wife. That hit me hard....you are right...Wow I really don't know what to say, thank you for caring so much.

epskie

It's an incredibly sad story but if people can be inspired to put the bottle down by it then she did not die in vain. Please inbox me and let me know how you're getting on x

LoveAffirmLive

Hi Ryan,

Here's my two cents worth- Because of the nature of alcoholism, whether one calls it a disease or an addiction an allergy, all three or none, it will make itself at home in your body and mind very quickly. So for example on the 1st of Jan you have "only" one drink and on the 3rd of Jan you "only" have two drinks and on the 7th of Jan you have "only" 6 drinks.......later in the month it's someones birthday and you only get hammered "that one time" then you feel like your job/family/money is stressing you out so it won't hurt to have "only"one after work every day........and on and on and on it goes.

Time is relative- 5 years seems like a long time to be sober when you're at day one of sobriety, 5 years is also a long time to be in pain, whether it be physical, mental or spiritual, 5 years is sometimes how long the doctor says you'll live for if you keep doing what you're doing and 5 years is also around 1826 days of not having to wake up hangover and feeling scared of life. 5 years of sobriety is also 1826 days PER PERSON ( wives/kids/loved ones) who get to have you around happy, healthy and hopefully wise and themselves not having to worry and feeling proud of you

Take it easy,

Luv,Love.

Wayne444

Hi Ryan,
"...change and I hate it." I understand. People don't like change. I generally don't. It is discomforting. From this site I've recently read of people in situations like me who have been indulging to the point of danger, where change is definitely coming, in one of two forms. It is a choice, then, of a change that includes losing... losing friends, family, your quality life, your health or whatever, or the change that stops the drinking and giving in and removes the danger from you and improves lives (dramatically, as I'm reading.) I can't claim to be the expert yet on how to keep that right choice on track, but the choice before me is becoming more clear.

Think of how proud we will be when we look back to these days when the two choices became clear to us, and we chose the one that gave us everything, instead of nothing.

Very best to your efforts and strength! and thanks to your words on my first post recently.