softside

What to do.... my twin sister who has 25 years of drinking finally hit bottom last tuesday and tried to commit suicide. Since coming out of ICU she finally went into a treatment, but its on her own desire. she can walk at anytime. In her goodbye letters she said some very ugly things about all of us, very hurtful things. It was as if I didnt know her, and she has been out here living with me since she got fired from her last job and lost her house. She has been on unemployment for 2 years now, and is just now going into treatment i pray. But, while she was missing, for three days, I thought she had committed suicide, because of her letters. Than Sunday she calls and ask for some clothing. As if nothing had happen. I am both angry and hurt. The depth of pain I felt while she was missing AND I still feel it. MANY OF MyFRIENDS as said that al-non group would be good for me, since her moving out her was abusive towards me. I feel lost. Anyone????

choublak

Here is the link to the Friends and Family forum:

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Dee74

Hi and welcome softside - you'll find a ton of support, ideas and understanding, both here and in our Family and Friends forums - good to have you here

D

ABIDEBYLAW

Full blown alcoholics say/do/write hurtful things toward the ones they love. I certainly give noone a pass on this type of behavior, but I personally understand that alot of it is done without them being completely cognizant of their actions.
If the alcoholic cloud leaves her life, you may find a loving, caring, thankful repentant, person emerge.
Be strong.

sissy07

It willl take time, and some soul searching, but try to remember that she was not in her right mind when she expressed all of that hate, etc. I have found that at my worst, I said the most terrible things to people....and it wasn't because I wanted to hurt them....it was because I hated myself so much. She was obviously maxxed out mentally, emotionally, and physically. Give her some time, but also don't coddle her, by not immediately saying it's ok, I forgive you, etc. She needs to realize that drunk, drugged, or whatever, that behavior is not acceptable. I hope she stays where she is and gets the help she needs. If she is like me, when I realized what I had done and said to hurt other people I felt pain that I had never felt in my life. (No, unfortunately I am still not a saint!) She needs to realize that she is the reason for most of her problems, and she is also the solution, but I suppose that will come later. Right now she is probably just freaked out....and it takes awhile for brain chemicals to become healthy again - medication may be needed. For you, al-anon would be invaluable, as well as the forum mentioned above. You have to establish healthy boundaries. This will (or maybe has) played a number on your head that will take some time to mend. Get some help. P.S. I went through something similar to this - my alcoholic father was very cruel to me. Unfortunately he died when I was 20 while drunk driving and killed a family of four (parents and one and two year old little girls) so I never got to get it right with him. Oh, don't feel too much responsibility in the way of supporting her....that can lead to unhealthy enabling. You sound strong, but even the strongest of us can be weakened. Best wishes. Keep us posted please. Love and understanding to you. One more thought (I am rambling) I have run across some people that are just plain evil and will use you for whatever they can....I pitied them, but had to get out of their life. I hope that is not the case here. This whole situation is heartbreaking. I am so very sorry. (this is rambling again; hope that it makes sense...I am really, really burned out from work today, so forgive me if that is the case). Just trying to help....your story touched me. Love to you and your loved one.