ShaneW

Not that I wasnt on task and focused. I did my 4th step Tue-Wed, my 5th Thurs & find out Friday that I got the job I interviewed for last week. All in all, a pretty damn good week. With the news that I would start job on Monday, I stuck near home base & routine, rather than go away on mens sober retreat as I posted here earlier. I still dont sleep well, and have never slept well away from home base...so I stuck to my routine 4 meetings this wknd. Im in this for long haul, so I can always go to the next retreat, and the next one, and the next one etc.

Anyways, I did a 1 day landscaping job Friday for a buddy who needed an extra worker, and I was feeling it Saturday. Tired & sore, so was gonna just hit my 830p meet and skip the 10p. Like I had sent texts out letting ppl know I was going home early to sleep (to get a pattern going for work).

But in 830pm meet, a good friend of mine...part of my network...shared that he had relapsed earlier that day. This guy had nearly identical sober date as me, we go to same 3-4 meetings each week and phone calls at least 2 a week. I was even with him the night before where a bunch of us went bowling after Fri meet, and as everyones leaving he decides hes gonna stay and bowl by himself. I doublechecked to make sure he was good and was sure...and he said he was, so I went home, needing to get sleep pattern set. I thought about turning car around, not wanting to leave bud alone bowling...but didnt. He & I had also spoken earlier in the week about relapse, as it was a topic at a meeting on monday that he went to, and he told me how he needed to hear that cause he was having thoughts etc. I did what I could, said what I could. But guy relapsed. He owned up to it without prodding at 830 saturday meet, and I of course then went with him to the 10pm meet. Called him today, no answer. Texted and he replied saying he's doing better.

I mean, Im not blaming myself, that would be stupid. But I dont like that I didnt follow my instincts and turnaround after leaving bowling and go back to hang with him as he was alone there. That and I just hope he keeps coming back. A good guy, and a friend and I know its inevitable with this disease that ppl disappear. But I just hope he doesnt go that route. God damn this disease f-cking sucks!

Im ok. Talked to guy last night, heard from him in text today & talked to my sponsor about it. But whole thing just has me refocused. Had a good meet tonight & now its off to try and sleep for Job Day 1!

Wish me luck!

btw - without the support Ive recieved here from SR, and from my time in AA, this job would not be possible. So I thank each and every one of you.

Sapling

I watch a lot of people go back out Shane....Some come back...Some don't. Take care of yourself...Sometimes you have to learn from others mistakes...That's the way it is. You can't change anybody else....Only yourself. What's the story on your sixth and seventh steps?....Is your sponsor holding you back on those?...And a BIG CONGRATS on the new job...Just remember your keeping sobriety is the most important job you have right now. Without it...You have nothing.

Dee74

Congratulations on your job Shane.

I don't believe I'm responsible for anyone else's sobriety but my own Shane

Each of us does what we can but we can't and shouldn't be other peoples sober policeman - as I see it, you offered to take the guy home..he declined...even if he had come with you thats no indication he wouldn't have made the decision he did the next day...

he made a decision - a bad one as it turns out - but it was his to make, not yours, y'know?

D

ShaneW

Thx Sap. Yeah I already did 6 & 7, it was really just the readings & saying the 7th step prayer. We were gonna start 8 on the retreat, but now prob Wed when we go to our family tree meeting.

Yeah, this was first person I talk to regularly who has gone back out. In some ways, Ive been lucky that way...all of my network & all of my friends in AA are on track, cept for this guy. But I bet he gets right back on...and we can both learn from what happened.

Sapling

All you can do is be there for him...You're doing awesome man....Good things are starting to happen for you....Be grateful for that.

ShaneW

Yeah I know. Thx Dee. In a way, Im glad to find out my instincts are in tune, even if it took my 1st friend relapsing to find out. Hopefully I can use this experience to learn to spot those in need earlier...and also to remind myself why I am here, and what being here has done for me.

sugarbear1

"No human power could have relieved our alcoholism."

We do what we can, the rest is not up to us.

Congratulations on the new employment!!