prettydisaster

Oh I guess the best place to start would be at the beginning.. I was sober 2.5 years and at that time I was a little too cocky and started to question if I was in fact an alcoholic at all.. So what better way to find out than just to give it another shot right? Well now i have been off the wagon so to speak almost 2 years.. It's not as bad as before I no longer drink liquor until I pass out because I thought opting for beer would be the "better" option, let's face an alcoholic will find a way to justify anything. I came to this forum because I want to talk to people who have been there and understand, as much as friends try they just don't get it. They either attribute the drinking to the fact that I'm 23 and in college, or tell me to just "cut back". But anyone who has ever been there knows it doesn't matter if you are 23 or 63 an alcoholic is an alcoholic and cutting back is never an option because the first beer will always get you drunk. I don't go through withdrawals and I don't get the shakes I know it's psychological but the fact remains that once I start I don't stop. Then the next day I am consumed by the shame and the guilt and the disappointment that puts such a strangle hold on me that it pushes me to continue the same behavior. It's a cycle and I know all the steps and I know all the "triggers" what I'm looking for is someone to understand, someone to talk to without criticism , someone who gets it.

awuh1

Sounds like you are about to spare yourself years of agony. I would venture to say that most here know exactly what you are going through. You may need something you can turn to when a drink seems like a good option. I hope you discover something that will work for you long term. Welcome and all the best to you.

Purplecatlover

Welcome. You are in the right place for people who get it! For sure.
I'm impressed you see this & understand at such a young age. I got sober at 23 b/c I always got outta control after the first drink.
I went about 7yrs sober & started again for about 5 yrs. and these last yrs were not pretty. I did have physical dependence this time. My consumption went way up. I wanted to stop but didn't think I could. I found this site & quit.
It's the best thing I ever did. Keep reading & posting. You'll find lots of helpful info here.

instant

Welcome to the family. I admire the fact that you understand and accept the situation at your age. In retrospect my life would have been far different if I had made quit drinking at your age.

sugarbear1

I knew I was an alcoholic before my first meeting of AA at the age of 25. Smarty pants me decided I really wasn't and that I could do what I wanted.

25 years later, I've created more damage done to myself and to those I loved than I ever could have imagined and I wish I could turn back time.

I think your wisdom is fabulous! Real adults don't have to drink, especially if they know that they don't stop after one drink. Choosing to remain sober is something to be commended, especially before anything horrific happens.

I'll be your head cheerleader!

Welcome to SR! Glad you are here!!

prettydisaster

Thank you all so much. I did rehab at 18 and AA for about a year after and don't get me wrong they were both great, but at this point I just want to be the old me again. I have people say, you don't get out of hand or obnoxious I don't think you have a problem, but when you can't make your body stop something once it starts, you know there is a problem. It's become all to common for me to drink in the morning now, not even to get drunk, just to balance out the night before. And I'm sure lot's of people find that normal I mean I was starting to, but clearly it isn't! Life is too beautiful to waste all your time wasted.

Sapling

Sounds to me like you know exactly what's going on and exactly what you have to do. Welcome to SR...Look forward to hearing about your journey.

Anna

Welcome!

We do understand and this is a great place to come for support.

It sounds like you know you need to do this and good for you for making the decision to stop drinking.

mirage

Welcome to SR, prettydisaster. You've come to the right place for understanding, support and advice...the folks here rock. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders..I'm looking forward to hearing about all of your successes in sobriety! You can do it!!

IndaMiricale

We will not forget the past nor shut the door on it.

You made that choice to pick up again, now put it back down.

FlyerFan

Welcome to our humble community. I knew I was an alcoholic when I started making myself throw up so that I could drink more immediately after that. (sick isnt it?) And I'm barely 24 years old so there is no age limit to being an alcoholic.

I'm glad you came here looking for help.

SOBERINNEPA

Congratulations!

Let me join the chorus of folks who wish we'd "gotten it" when we were 23. It sounds like your pattern of drinking scares you, and it should. Alcoholism is a scary disease and we're each responsible for treating our own case.

Please stay in touch.

BillyPilgrim

Welcome back, like everyone here, I thought I could stop at one, but decided I liked the next drink more than the last one.

hypochondriac

hey prettydisaster, I don't know if you saw my post to you on my thread, but I too am with the 'wish I'd quit at your age' brigade. If you know you're an alcoholic you have a great opportunity to create a life for yourself that we all wish we had Seriously, go for it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain x

brickthrowing

I get it.

I totally get it. I have no judgements because I identify with so much of your story.

I love that you have an understanding about what needs to happen. Implementing that however, there lies the challenge.

I am working on that same challenge. I know my triggers, I know my mindset and what I will do but sometimes that does not stop me.

Seems silly huh? We know if we put our hand on a hot stove it will burn, so we don't do it.
But we also know that that one beer will lead to many others, and eventual pain but we do it anyway.

I am working on this same problem my friend, but the people here are good and there is always someone here.

Now, to remember to USE that tool and make it LOUDER than that voice that says drink....

We can do this. You can do this.

2granddaughters

I found a room full of those folks at A.A.

All the best to you in your chosen recovery program.

Bob R