Saliena

Not sure why I wrote this today... but, it came out.. and I thought I would post it...

I am not here to make your life easier..
I am here to find my way.
I am not here to shrink into the crivice so that you might shine brighter.
I am here to find my way.
I have given much to you...
You have done nothing but take from me.
I have given heart, soul, dreams and desire ... so that you and I might just be friends.
But, friends are the destiny that you and I share.
You seek nothing but to destroy me from the inside out.
Make me into something I am not.
Make be believe I am not here.
Make me believe I am not worthy.
The relationship I had with you worked... until it did.
When it stopped working it started to destory.
Destory my sense of self worth.
Destory my center being.
I pushed everyone away to be with you.
I pushed everything away that was important to me so that I could have one last evening with you.
When I gave everything I had... I keep trying to give more.
You drained it all...
Till I had nothing left.
No sense of being.
No sense of home.
Only lose.
Only despair.
Only hopelessness and bitterness.
I had nothing.
I had given it all to be with you.

The only light I had left was to chance to get clean.
The chance to walk away from you.
To end our journey of twisted torment.
To break the bondage which held me so tight. It was bondage that once made me feel safe, like it was my friend, it was my home. Now I see it was ending my life.
This is the end of our journey together.

I have taken back my life.
Given the chance I would do it again.
THIS is my truth now.
This is what I sit alone with... the hope that one day I can become whole.
The chance that one day I will believe fully in myself again.

Until that day comes ... I walk along this road. Not alone.. there are others here helping me... others that have always been there if I would not have sold everything to be with you.

I am no longer here for you...
I am here for me.

desertsong

That was beautiful, Saliena. Thank you.

LoftyIdeals

Beautiful!