jolinda

I forgot to mention, I have a 33 year old daughter too. She is wonderful, caring funny,and smart. I have caught myself trying not to tell her things,she is going threw anxiety and having trouble of her own.This has touched and hurt soooooo many people in my family. This i mean my addict(meth) husband. My children say they hate him, and will never forgive him. He has listened and has not come home, He texted Jake last night (my 20 year old) and said, he loved him with all his heart. He is his one and only son and that we all are going to be ok. WHHHHHHHHHAT, HOW CAN HE ACT LIKE THIS DOESNT BOTHER HIM. When its tearing our lives apart.Iwant him to hurt as bad as i hurt , maybe worse, and thats saying alot. Im normally not that kind of person. What have i turned into?

kmangel

Jolinda, I think you are grieving the loss of a dream--a dream of a marriage and life that has not turned out the way you dreamed it would. You've probably seen the stages of grief:

Shock and denial: a numbness and disbelief that the event has occurred
Anger: at the deceased, at doctors, family members, etc.
Guilt: about things not done or said
Depression: about a loss that feels overwhelming and sadness that seems never-ending.
Acceptance: of the situation and life’s new reality
Growth: readiness to move ahead with one’s life

Facing losses are never easy and seldom can we face them alone. That's why a support group of people who have experienced what you are now experiencing is so important. Loving an addict is one of life's most difficult challenges. It's not for the faint of heart, that's for sure!

Make sure you are getting help for yourself.

cece1960

jolinda...
we all have feelings we don't understand when we are faced with the hurt and anger that dealing with addiction causes.
I think it's a good sign that your attention is being pulled toward someone who may need your support at this time. Take care of you first, and the others that maybe you can help.
I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
(((Hugs)))