chriswillett

I am totally lost. I have an addiction that i cannot overcome. I steal, I lie, Im about to lose everything cause i spend all my money on this crap. I was doing so damn good too. So, what happened was I was seeing a doctor and getting the subs for almost a year. I am a very busy guy with being a single father, working full time and going to school, so there was times where I would need to call my doctor and change the appointment we had made. Sometimes it would be a couple days later or sometimes a week later. I have thursdays and sundays off and he is not open on sundays and i have a little over an hour drive to work and back everyday so i can see him one day a week and that is on thursdays. I never have missed an appointment without calling in plenty of time, however the one time i did, about a month and a half ago, he cut me off. My grandmother passed away and i went up north for the week, used vacation time for work and forgot to call my doctor to let him know i would not make the appt. So when i got back on sunday night i called him and left a message. The next day they call my back while im at work and want me to come in that day, well i really couldnt, i had used all my vacation time, it was about an hour and a half away so i couldnt just run over there on my lunch and the doctor was going to be on vacation for the rest of the week, so they said that day, monday was the day i had to come. Well i didnt make it and called them to let them know i wouldnt make it, (left a message) and did not hear back from them, until i got a letter two days letter saying they will not fill my prescription any longer since i was under a strict contract and broke it. The day i got the letter, i had two subs left. I was in shock, i didnt know what to do. I have anxiety and all sorts of other things wrong with me, not diagnosed by a doctor, but i have issues im sure of it. so now i am back on the pills cause i cant handle the wd, i dont have time for the wd really, i cant work, cant do school work, cant take care of my child which is the worst part, he is 4 years old and my best friend and when i feel like that, i cant give him what he needs as far as the attention and taking care of him. I dont know if another doctor will see me due to the last doctor kicking me off. I never pissed dirty, i never missed an appt without calling him, it was just that once and now im stuck and dont know what to do. I cant afford this anymore. oxys being $1 per mg. 40mg opanas for 65 dollars, little blue oxy 30 mg $12 which is not too bad, but those come once a month and i take like 6-9 a day. Im going to call doctors tomorrow and see what they will do, but i just had to get this off my chest. I am stressing out really bad about this. I have only been off the subs for a little over a month and things are already getting really bad and going down hill, fast! Im scared. Thanks for reading

neferkamichael

If you're here, you're not totally lost. You can overcome your addiction. Praying for ya.

Dee74

Hi Chris

sounds like you're about at the end of your tether with this problem - maybe a different approach might help?

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and you'll of course find a lot of recovery support here - you and your little guy deserve a better life than the one you have, yeah?

Welcome to SR
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zigzig

The funny thing about addiction is that no matter how long you've been gone from active addiction you'll pick up right where you left off when you pick up again. You'll be right back in the gutter in no time. And you'll just keep sinking lower until you take action to stop it. Luckily it's not too late. You can get back to where you were a month ago but you have to do whatever you have to do to get back on the subs and take it from there. Your doctor is a ***** for cutting you off but there are other doctors. Start calling around. Are you in Vancouver Canada or Vancouver Washington?

chriswillett

Thanks guys, I'm in vancouver, washington

Dee74

sorry about that Chris - I'm Australian....didn't even know there was a Vancouver WA

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chriswillett

No problem, I really appreciate you taking the time to give me any input you have, and just taking the time to read my post.

zigzig

Did you find a new doctor yet? Have you checked out SAMHSA's Suboxone doctor locator? If not just google Suboxone Locator and it's the first thing that comes up. It will show you all Suboxone docs in your area.

yellieee

Suboxone doctors are pretty strick if you start pushing off appointments. My doctor basically said to me that I need to come every month and if I start stretching out my appointments he will drop me. I must have looked shocked because he then explained that he gives me a month supply so if I start coming back every 5 weeks instead of 4 weeks then what did I magically do for that week inbetween that I wouldn't of had medicine for. Doctors expect you to take the medicine as they direct so your doctor probally figured you should have run out of medicine and therefore didn't actually need the medicine or that you were using. The last thing a doctor would want to hear is "yeah you give me 4 weeks of medicine but on some days I take half my dose blah blah blah". I'm sorry your doctor wasn't understanding, but look for one that has later hours, weekend hours, or one that you can just start a clean slate with.

Vintersemestre

I saw vancouver and I figured it was weird that you were cruelly cut off since that's illegal in Canada... I didn't know there was a vancouver WA either!