ODAT63

I would like to know how many hit bottom because they finally lost their spouse, family, partner etc.
Was loosing your love one what got you to stop? or was finding new love?

Dee74

I lost two partners, if not directly, certainly in large part due to my drinking ODAT.

The level of denial I was in, events like that - or finding a new love after the first one - were not enough for me to stop.

I had 10 years more of suffering to put myself through after that before I finally 'got it'.

D

eJoshua

Nope, I came of my own accord.

IndaMiricale

No I lost all those way before I surrendered.

I will not forget the past nor shut the door on it.

eJoshua

I should clarify: I didn't have a spouse/partner I was in danger of losing, but if I did I'm sure they would have been long gone before I got sober (and I wouldn't blame them)

ABIDEBYLAW

Lost all of that a long time ago, and still not stopped drinking. You think after giving so much away to alcohol, I would have figured it out and stopped. Have no desire for any more dating/relationships. Gotta work and drink and those two keep me so busy.

ACT10Npack

Yea, I lost most of my friends and girlfriend because of drinking. Still trying to stop. It's hard to do. They will get tired of you in some point of life.

Threshold

It's not WHY I am here. I am here to support my recovery but I did lose my spouse along the way.

ODAT63

The question is to help us understand the power of alcohol/addiction and that "ultimatums" don't work, each one is in charge of our own recovery and at our own time. Thank you for your answers it really helps.

Nirvana1

For me it was the accumulation of bad relationships and how alcohol played a big part for why I stayed in bad relationships too long or why the good ones only lasted a short amount of time!

onlythetruth

I lost a bunch of relationships due to my drinking, but none of those experiences was the "last straw" for me, amazingly enough.

MustStop

A part of it was, but what it did was make me open my eye's and realize not only had I lost that, I had lost what little I had and not accumulated anything since and because of drinking. To stop the bleeding of any assets I had left and get motivated again to get my life back on track, I had to stop. So I did!

Like many will tell you here, once sobered up for a period of time I realized that my relationship was anything but healthy and actually made me drink more. I am a very positive and optimistic person, she was negative, pessimistic, hateful and mad at the world and going nowhere. Myself as a depressed drunk I thought she was perfect!

The best part of it was that her leaving made me get sober and I am not sure that would have happened otherwise. It was a tough learned lesson and now once stable I can actually go and find a viable partner.

So yes, I came here because of a ruined relationship, but not for the reasons you might think.

akberry

Sort of. My husband told me he is bisexual or maybe even gay. He's a cross dresser and I've know that for years. I'm just not sure how to deal with this. We have 7 kids. I love my husband dearly and enough to let him go if he has to go. We both drink, we both have so many awful things that haunt us from our past.

musicman66

I certainly did...My ex tried to talk to me about my drinking - and it may have gotten better at different times, but in the end - she had enough and moved on...Found someone else...I kept drinking too. Even though I knew the whole time I had to stop. It had that much control over me. That was 2 years ago. She is remarried, and I am just now starting to date again....16 months sober. Sad that I lost her, but happy that I have it more together now....The moments of regret are less and less every day. "Why couldn't I see? Why didn't I listen to her? Why couldn't I stop?" - I have answers to alot of those questions now...and I had to do it for myself. Not her or the kids - but myself. I know that is cliche, but it is true.....Sometimes we are so far gone that we lose sight of the things that are most important to us. I know I did - and when I was finally able to see again, alot of those things were gone....That is the harsh reality of this....the sooner we recognize that for ourselves and move on - the sooner we can start living again.....

Impurrfect

I'm actually here because I chose to leave the relationship. We were both A's, I chose recovery, he didn't, and I moved on. Today? I have over 5 years in recovery, he died a couple years ago. I had had enough of bad consequences (including two other failed relationships with A's) that I had to change.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy